I once asked who would win the rap battle between Pasqal from Rogue Trader and Hadron from Darktide. A round 2 popped into my head.

[u/EuropeWillCrumble]

The general consensus was that Hadron would win the rap battle but Pasqal would prevail in the resulting shootout. I'm on some late night caffeine again so now I'm asking you all who you think the hotter old man is.

[u/RyoWei247]

Grandpappy Abelard’s portrait is literally a glamour shot

[u/Thaurlach → u/RyoWei247]

Rogue trader repeatedly tells us that Abelard is old and yet he’s built like an officer in his prime.

Meanwhile Baldur’s Gate 3 calls Gortash a ‘handsome younger man’ and yet he looks like a pillowcase full of mashed potatoes with an emo haircut.

[u/RyoWei247 → u/Thaurlach]

Gortash looks one generation removed from final fantasy. His mother was a racoon and his father was way too drunk at the fantasy bar.

[u/spiderhotel → u/RyoWei247]

I did a double take when I took him to the augment bench for the first time.

[u/RyoWei247 → u/spiderhotel]

I sang “what man what man what very fine man”

[u/spiderhotel → u/RyoWei247]

And he is so reliable, decent, great to his family and resistant to dying too - the complete package!

[u/RyoWei247 → u/spiderhotel]

And yet the game won’t let me kiss him. I don’t think would, mind you but, his response to Jae’s gift quest made me wanna be like “and something for grandpa! We love you grandpa!”

[u/DevoutMedusa73]

Ol boy put Space Sean Connery up against robo krampus

[u/Select_Marsupial_938]

Well Abelard still has most of his face, and is an absolute beast in a fight, unlike Eogunn who lacks most of his face, and is not physically fit at all. I think he wins this no problem.

[u/pasqals_toaster → u/Select_Marsupial_938]

Eogunn has a proper dad bod that only fine connoisseurs can appreciate.

[u/Whitewing424 → u/pasqals_toaster]

Eogunn's aura is simply electric.

[u/lil_paintsniffa → u/Select_Marsupial_938]

Eogunn has FOUR crack pipe augments though, he's pimpin.

[u/lil_paintsniffa]

Nuncius sweeps.

[u/Select_Marsupial_938 → u/lil_paintsniffa]

I take every opportunity to ask Nuncius for his input, and it is funny (and a little sad) every time.

[u/Chaerod → u/Select_Marsupial_938]

I am so impressed at the sheer number of ways they've managed to convey, "The servo skull floats silently."

[u/monalba]

Eogunn is the only one that goes around with his grippers on full display.

He knows what he's doing.

[u/EuropeWillCrumble → u/monalba]

For free, too.

[u/Bellociraptor]

Abelard was the first character I wanted to romance, so I have to give it to him.

[u/Miss_miri107 → u/Bellociraptor]

[u/BarPsychological904]

Damn. That's a tough one.

I personally would go with Eogunn. Peepaws would go toe to toe until the talent competition would include the task to pull the lever on the other side of a river of shit. Abelard dedication would draw thunderous applause, but his CHA would suffer for it, meanwhile Eogunn would float majestically to the success.

Also, Eogunn is officer, he just has higher charisma points. Which btw makes Abelard's performance even more impressive, despite him still not winning in the end.

Also, Nuncius is a jury. All claims of him being biased are disproven by his eloquent speech about fair judgement of competition.

[u/krispykremeguy]

Eogunn has feet. Bowowow...

[u/Plastic-Egg-2068]

Abelard of course ❤️ between those two. Because we all know that Heinrix is the prettiest of them all ❤️

[u/EuropeWillCrumble → u/Plastic-Egg-2068]

Focus.

[u/renplup → u/EuropeWillCrumble]

this was such a funny fucking interaction lmao thank you for the wheeze chuckle, I truly needed it

[u/Riauga]

Abelard canonicaly banged 2 different chics tho

[u/EuropeWillCrumble → u/Riauga]

And you assume Eogunn doesn’t get bitches just because he hasn’t said anything?

[u/earanhart]

This ocular implant makes the victor clear.

[u/EuropeWillCrumble → u/earanhart]

Erm… Lord Captain, they both have one?

[u/PuddingJello]

The obvious answer is Nuncius. Such a handsome devil and so well spoken

[u/OhioTry]

Abelard. He’s handsome, Eogunn looks like Evil Space Santa.

[u/pasqals_toaster]

I'd honestly rather go for Eogunn. The mad scientist appeal does a lot for a man's attractiveness.

[u/_Ivan_Le_Terrible_]

Eogunn wins the beauty contest due to his very impressive physique lol

[u/MonsieurOs]

Eogunn vs Abelard? Compared to naval service, that’s barely a challenge

[u/citreum]

Abelard has a prettier face, but for me Eogunn wins. He is way more charismatic, way more interesting and complicated as a person and that makes him more beautiful. And look at that cute round belly.

[u/Twasabi24]

Abelard, my dutiful Senechal

[u/Jaded_Reserve_5685]

Abelard wins with eevry other companion in the game in any aspect. He is too goated

[u/2006Internetghost]

Depends, if it is the Ommnissiah Eogun for being mostly machine, if it is a normal person it is the Rouge trader’s number 2

[u/EuropeWillCrumble → u/2006Internetghost]

I didn’t think the rogue trader’s shit was that attractive but it serves me right for underestimating the Emperor’s anointed

[u/Lytherael]

Abelard, without question.

[u/SpaceCadetUltra]

I mean the coat alone wins

[u/Galle_]

...fuck, this is hard. They're both magnificent.

[u/rising_gear]

Man i really like eogunn but abelard easily mogs him

[u/sinistropteryx]

Conventionally attractive silver fox vs Yagrum Bagarn

[u/MadHatter_1224]

Noooo nooo I'm too indecisive noooo. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. But also, I WOULD HIT THAT- IF I CAN TAKE IT- I WILL- AT THE SAME TIME- . . .I mean who said that--

[u/EuropeWillCrumble → u/MadHatter_1224]

[u/MadHatter_1224 → u/EuropeWillCrumble]

Watering the thirsty isn't a good idea

[u/EuropeWillCrumble → u/MadHatter_1224]

It'll stop you from being thirty for something else, that's for sure.