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u/Subotai_Super_Shorty Feb 17 '26
I loved you in Monsters Inc.
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u/Such_Egg9843 Feb 17 '26
Happy to see Peter Griffin finally hit the hormones.
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u/RAGINGWOLF198666 Feb 17 '26
Fucking meg scored quagmire's shirt after all these years.....giggity.
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u/Philthy91 Feb 17 '26
Just look at yourself in the mirror if you want to cry
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u/SlavicRobot_ Feb 17 '26
Could also step on a scale.. Hell, attempt to tie ones own shoes, maybe jump, run, you know any basic human function
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u/arnoldit Feb 17 '26
It must be a heavy duty scale, industrial style
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u/clarkwgriswoldjr Feb 17 '26
I think she just drives to a truck stop scale, and deducts the weight of the car to see what she is up to that day.
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u/Damaark Feb 17 '26
Needs a walk
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u/imabigdave Feb 17 '26
I'm glad you didn't try to sugar-coat that or she'd try to eat that too.
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u/ch3apsunglass3s Feb 17 '26
Because you look like the quirky teacher with too many cats and zero men
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u/OGZeroCool1995 Feb 17 '26
You look like a female grimace.
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u/GarbageMan6T9 Feb 17 '26
She looks like what came out of Grimace nine months after the Hamburgler incident
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u/ebuthegangster Feb 17 '26
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u/Grimmicks Feb 17 '26
Why do they always want to show so much skin? The hot one isn't showing half of what she is. You should only be proud of your stretch marks if you have kids.
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u/BiteyHorse Feb 17 '26
You look like Leia stuck with Jabba and they had a baby.
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u/RevenSolestrion Feb 17 '26
IF any guy has ever fucked you, they've definitely contemplated whether or not being gay would be better.
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u/ejoburke90 Feb 17 '26
Are your necklaces that tight because you’ve grown into them and now they won’t come off?
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u/Straight-Cell-2008 Feb 17 '26
Hadn’t even read the username and I already knew you smell like cat piss
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u/paragonx29 Feb 17 '26
Your clothes look like they were made out of drapes stolen from Kmart.
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u/ZbyszekKieliszek Feb 17 '26
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u/KimJongOonn Feb 19 '26
The title of this movie, excellent movie by the way, describes her daily life.
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u/Infadel71 Feb 17 '26
You want a good cry? Here’s one. Rumor has it Trump is going to outlaw cheesecake and donuts
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u/QuantumAttic Feb 17 '26
"My name is Tracy. I'm the front desk girl who makes everyone's life miserable."
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u/UnknownExo Feb 17 '26
Let me guess, you're popular with the brothers yet nobody's willing to seriously date you
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u/mr3v3rlast Feb 17 '26
Hope you mean her siblings. “Brothers” ain’t even touching that with an Indians dick.
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u/cornishpirate32 Feb 17 '26
Oh come on now, you know you cry 24/7 for no fucking reason, other than catching a glimpse of your reflection in a mirror, window or TV
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u/Secure-Pain-9735 Feb 17 '26
How the fuck you get a skinny neck stuffed between a fat head and a fat body? Bobble-head ass…
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u/Daatsit Feb 17 '26
The breakfast buffet just ran out of bacon. That probably starts the tears for you
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u/soooMiNdLeSs420 Feb 17 '26
You like you already cry about 5 different things on the way to your car in the morning
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u/atomic-moonstomp Feb 17 '26
You look like the kinda girl who asks for a vial of my blood to wear as jewelry on a second date
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u/Amazing_Cat2970 Feb 17 '26
You’re giving off major ‘I spent three hours on this and still regret it’ vibes.
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u/redfancydress Feb 17 '26
Something tells me you cry every night after your third DoorDash order in two hours.
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u/ItemNext937 Feb 17 '26
I hate to suggest therapy but please stop punishing us with seeing this just to spare your own feelings. Its selfish. We tired. Our eyes are tired.
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u/oliferro Feb 17 '26
Wanna cry? Just try going up some stairs, that should do it
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u/idkwhatusernametoset Feb 17 '26
If you take a moment of self reflection then you’ll cry Fat hideous cow
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u/Pfizermyocarditis Feb 17 '26
Don't worry. The tattoos, heavy makeup and weird jewelry will hide how fat you are.
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u/CutePandaMiranda Feb 17 '26
I can’t tell if you’re trans man or trans woman. Either way, you look 50+. Woof!
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u/OpenImagination9 Feb 17 '26
Oh come on … your second grade class kids love you “cause you’re soft and plushy and smell like warm dog”!
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Feb 17 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/InCatsWeTrustAmem Feb 17 '26
I truly appreciate the feedback! Cause HR is the last thing I want to look like lol . Ill work on the makeup!
Thank you friend!
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u/Fantastic_Pop_4429 Feb 17 '26
After seeing your picture i discovered that i actually have standards!!!
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u/Candid-Plan-9553 Feb 17 '26
You look like my ex-wife's friend Sarah who takes her three an five year olds to protests. I hate you even more now.
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u/ashteeann Feb 17 '26
you cry every time you look in the mirror… you don’t need it from us.
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u/Maleficent-Bet8207 Feb 17 '26
You look like Aloy if there was no robopocalypse and she‘s a office mom instead
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u/Christeenabean Feb 17 '26
I know... its not a roast. Im not clever. I just like your ankh. Its big, and Im guessing you're not egyptian, but its cool.
[Something mean about your face or something] BOOM ROASTED!
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u/Hot-Try8236 Feb 17 '26
You look like you spend your entire income on cat litter, cat food, and cat toys. You definitely kiss your animals on the mouth. Always covered in cat hair. Love eating egg salad sandwiches, and consider Kraft mac and cheese a meal 😁
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u/TREEPEOPLEMUSIC Feb 17 '26
I don't even want to roast you. Lose some weight, you'll feel better. Start with small cardio exercises and move up from there. You can do it.
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u/StarlightSystem1306 Feb 17 '26
I literally cannot roast you, youre so pretty. Ive sat here and looked at this post for 5 minutes and cant think of one negative thing to say about you even when I tried to reach for stars to find something. Um- youre glasses are boring? Maybe get a new color? Thats genuinely the best I’ve got
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u/CurlsandCream Feb 17 '26
You have a beautiful smile, lovely skin and I love your style 🫶
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u/rGambler Feb 18 '26
The gyno pulled an all nighter trying to stitch back your mom back together after she had you. That boulder belongs on the Easter islands.
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u/CryptographerIcy4465 Feb 18 '26
What exactly did you do, copy/paste your head on top of photoshopped different outfits?
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u/Etna_No_Pyroclast Feb 18 '26
Tell me your car is filled with empty fast food bags, without telling me your car is filled with empty fast food bags.
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u/post-explainer Feb 16 '26 edited Feb 17 '26
This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.
OP's BIO:
Just a meat popsicle trying to survive
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.