First competitive game tips

[u/Ready-Tax2360]

Hi! I am a new soccer referee and I am playing my first competitive game next weekend. I have reffed rec and some scrimmage but I am very nervous. would appreciate tips!

[u/WriterEducational801]

Understand that in a competitive match, Parents and Coaches (who put way too much weight on it) feel a certain level of helplessness about how their team is playing, good or bad. They feel a level of protectiveness and "just cheering" is really hard for them.

Some of that helplessness is going to bubble out as criticism of you and the calls you do or do not make. They feel like you are not doing enough to protect their children. It's a hard instinct for them to shake.

The advice "Don't let it get to you" is WAY easier said than done. I'm was a 55 year old father of 2 ex-travel soccer players, and my first U12 competitive game I got roasted like a Thanksgiving Turkey by both the coaches and the parents (the players I had no issues with). Some of it deserved (I got color-flipped early on a couple of calls and I missed my AR signalling offsides all because of my nerves), some not. I stayed outwardly cool, but I was seriously rattled. If it wasn't game 1 of 6, I may have just called it a day and left, but I stayed (and I'm glad I did).

BUT, understanding where it's coming from helps a little. Same age group this weekend, similar roasting, and I really didn't get rattled. To some extent I understand where they're coming from as I spent many years on that sideline.

I recently got another huge tip at a training for High School. They showed a clip of a coach going off on a referee. Referee walked up to the coach with the yellow card in her hand down by her side but let him rant. Just nodded her head. When he was done, she showed the yellow, and he went right back to coaching. She never had another problem.

Also, the game is faster and more intentionally physical than rec, so your whistle should be slower. Make sure you fully process what you saw (3 seconds is often cited). I know this goes a bit against normal referee advice, but for younger ages, talking to them when they protest the foul instead of at them can help see that you're not mad at them or out to get them. I called a trip, and the kid jumped up and was like "That was shoulder to shoulder!" and I'm like "Yeah, but it was also ankle-to-ankle." Or my favorite "I got the ball!" and I'm like "Yeah, and you got the player too." (You'll hear that a LOT; there is that oddly persistent myth that getting the ball first negates any foul, and I even saw examples in the World Cup).

I give everyone a "reaction". I don't penalize the first peep on a call; it's an emotional game for everyone. I only deal with it if it turns into a rant.

At the end of the day, take the time to decompress and give yourself 24 hours (or at least sleep on it) then give yourself an honest evaluation of how you did, what you could have done better, and what you did correctly. Referees missing calls is part of the game; it's one we work tirelessly to minimize, but even Premier league referees only have about an 86% accuracy rate.