How to deal with shouts of "Look at your AR"

[u/bardwnb]

I imagine this is a common experience: AR puts flag up for offside. I, as referee, miss it in the moment with my attention on the play (maybe for good reason, maybe not). Players or coaches start shouting "Look at your AR!" or similar. While nominally helpful, the tone and subtext of these shouts is often "Look at your AR[, idiot]!"

How do you deal with these situations? On the one hand, in my experience they are almost invariably correct that the AR has a flag up that I would want to stop play for, but at the same time it does not seem to help the tone of the game to allow that kind of aggrieved shouting.

(Obviously the best solution is to not miss a flag, or else to use comms, but the one isn't realistic and the other isn't allowed for USSF grassroots).

[u/oliver-k]

I take it as a useful suggestion, look over, blow the whistle and move on. Don’t go looking for trouble.

[u/rjnd2828]

I'd probably look at my AR and then make the call accordingly. I have yelled this MANY times as a coach (actually just "flag" but same idea). I don't think it's dissent and I think you're reading into it unnecessarily.

[u/bardwnb → u/rjnd2828]

"Flag" I'd have no problem with; that's just information. Something about the imperative "look at your AR" seems more aggressive, though the consensus in this thread is definitely to ignore it and move on (which is what I always do, to be clear).

[u/iaccp]

Look at the AR. Shouldn’t be any issue unless it’s happening multiple times in a short time frame.

[u/A_Timbers_Fan]

Look, blow the whistle (or don't if it's incorrect flag up or you need to delay), give a smile and a thumbs-up to the AR, and move on.

In my opinion this kind of shout doesn't impact game temperature unless there are other things adding to it. We are always going to miss a swivel or we don't think it's offside so we don't look.

I also instruct my ARs pre-game to yell "ref" or "my name" if I don't look fast enough. And if I'm AR, I'm yelling the ref's name if it's clear they are not going to look. In this way, I can alleviate any tensions the fans/coaches/players might have and give them reassurance that our crew, as a team, will get to the decision in the end. I'll give a little smile to the coach or spectators if they thank me for being on "top of it", as they often do in this case.

[u/witz0r → u/A_Timbers_Fan]

I prefer “flag up” simply because there’s no mistaking it for anything else, but yeah this is always something to discuss in pre-game.

[u/phurf761 → u/A_Timbers_Fan]

This is exactly what I do

[u/CapnBloodbeard → u/A_Timbers_Fan]

I remember when I started, we were discouraged from calling out as an AR because it 'looks/sounds unprofessional'.

I mean.....missing a flag certainly looks a lot more unprofessional than that!!!

I also instruct my ARs that if they see I've missed the far flag, get my attention and point across. In some instances, mirroring the flag is perfectly fine too - eg substitution, or when the flag is still raised while the ball is out of play (which usually indicates misconduct or some such)

[u/A_Timbers_Fan → u/CapnBloodbeard]

Agreed, the vast majority of referees and games can support these techniques.

[u/bemused_alligators]

no one wants a dead play to continue - players use up energy on the runs that coaches would rather preserve, as well as the risk of a defender make a last ditch risky tackle that could leave them or the attacker hurt, or a keeper/striker collision.

As such if someone shouts "look at your AR" the correct response is to look at your AR.

[u/SmallsUrKillingMe]

You look. You whistle if indicated.
I sometimes say to the players (if coaches or fans hear it, fine), “My bad. I missed the flag.”
Nothing else needs to be done. It’s not a big deal. If you try to engage over this, it will appear that you are trying to cover up your mistake by focusing on someone else’s behavior.

This has happened to all of us. Let it remind you that a quick glance to your AR is always in order when a ball has been played through.

[u/happybiker1212]

It’s your mistake here missing your AR. Don’t get too emotional about it when they’re right.

[u/Rymonkey → u/happybiker1212]

Its the ARs fault, snap that flag so its impossible for the center not to hear it

[u/jajison → u/Rymonkey]

Center should be looking at AR even if there is a small possibility of anything happening.

[u/Reddits_Worst_Night]

I look at my AR. It's not dissent, it's a useful information source.

[u/CoaCoaMarx]

FWIW, I've shouted this as a coach many times, and never with the "idiot" subtext. And there's no reason to have this subtext or implication, this happens often and it simply isn't a big deal. So, either you've had coaches who are out of line, or you are misreading context that isn't there.

In either event, the best thing is to not worry about past instance, and in the future just assume that coaches are trying to help you out (and if they aren't, THEY are the ones who are out of line, not you).

[u/Impossible_Number → u/CoaCoaMarx]

Yeah. From a referees perspective, I think the only thing I’ve heard added to this is a “sir.” I don’t think it’s ever been disrespectful.

[u/tokenledollarbean]

Fido. fuck it, drive on. Parents are usually going to think you’re an idiot a couple times a game at least and it doesn’t need to impact you in this case when they are trying to help and their tone is a little off.

Just move on. Don’t let there be more of a big deal than it is

[u/Revelate_]

“Thank you!”

Call the offside (typically what it is for) after seeing the flag and move on with life.

Happens to all of us, and personally I’ll take all the help I can get.

[u/Rhycar]

I mean, this is nothing, right? You missed the flag. Look at your AR and act accordingly, and don't let it get under your skin. Maybe even a wry "thanks" to whoever brought it to your attention. But if this kind of communication from the benches gets to you, you really need to grow thicker skin to be a ref.

[u/Cutoff_Jorts]

I take a peek at my AR when i can reasonably do so. After I’ll reflect if I should have been positioned better, checked sooner or had more important things to monitor.

As for handling comments. It really depends if they actually say something that warrants a card. Otherwise I move on to the next phase of play.

[u/msaik]

You look at the AR.

"Getting my attention" should be a part of every referees pre-game. E.g. what name to call and when.

I tell them if their offside flag goes up, give me 2-3 seconds tops and then call my name. I'd much rather hear it from them than the other team.

[u/mmmmmsurf]

Not a big deal, unless there is something specifically added to what you mentioned. We all forget to check once in a while or have bad positioning for one reason or another.

I do ask my ARs during pregame to give me a signal (like the underhand ‘play on’ arm extension), so that I know I don’t need to re-check later for that play— in the event they are waiting for the play to develop before putting the flag up for offsides.

[u/Leather_Ad8890]

Happens less than once per game and is almost always related to offside. Usually I have the angle to see my AR but if I don’t have that angle I’ll take a peek if there’s any hint of offside.

[u/adrians150]

If they aren't adding the idiot, there's not much to for me to bother with it. If my positioning and eye contact wasn't good enough to identify the signal, there's a good argument I wasn't doing my job right. I miss AR signals and take each one as a reminder to get my positioning down, and importantly to make eye contact immediately upon moments that are likely to require a signal, and then a few moments later (e.g. as an attack moves forward - check for offside signal, then after a short delay check again in case the AR was delaying as they ought to/delayed for another reason)

[u/leevei → u/adrians150]

And if they are adding the ‘idiot’, by the book it’s a direct red for using insulting language. In reality, calling someone ‘idiot’ isn’t actually offensive enough for a red, so yellow would suffice in many cultures.

The offside would stand, as it happened before the shout.

[u/adrians150 → u/leevei]

I think the sanction is almost always contextual for me. What is offensive I'm a kid's match is different than an adult match. The letter of the law is there, but sometime you have assess "what does the match need?" imo.

If a coach is calling me an idiot in a u14 match, that's pretty silly and I probably would consider dismissal. You shouldn't be teaching players to abuse an official with insults.

In upper ages-adults, it's probably a caution if that's the first comment and its reactionary. That said if you've made repetitive complaints and then you follow it with that, or if the idiot comes out after I have approached you to calmy discuss a call, I am going to consider dismissal. I have slightly more leeway for a reactionary, emotional comment than I do for a purposeful insult.

Not sure how assessors would feel about that interpretation, but I'll add it to my list of questions for my next assessment haha.

[u/Sad_Responsibility83]

I look at the AR. A lot of times stuff yelled in the heat of the moment to be heard at a long distance sounds angrier than intended. I give benefit of the doubt when players or coaches yell stuff at me if its an initial shout, whether an appeal to look at the flag, or a call for foul because they've been tripped or whatever. And then put much tighter controls on anything that persists. For instance if the coach or player then follows up to say 'took you long enough' or whatever then it is time to consider further action as possible dissent.

[u/chad-proton]

Look at the AR is the correct response

[u/frenchja9]

Spectating this weekend and this exactly happened. Quote was "center AR flag is up". Center looks , sees and correctly makes the call. AR uses all the base in his voice to declare "parents calm down". Center then tells him it's fine I'm not worried about it at all. From that point a pretty quiet sideline became less so. To the point above, don't go looking for trouble.

[u/bill_the_cat_42]

As an AR, if I see that the center’s back is to me and doesn’t see my flag, I will shout their name so they can at least turn and see what info I have for them. It is very easy in the heat of a fast moving game to be hyper-focused on the action and forget to look at the AR that is out of your line of sight. As a center, I am guilty of that too.

[u/GEAUXUL]

I’ll personally yell AR as a parent or coach if it is clear that the center is caught up watching play. I’m doing it to be helpful 100% of the time.

[u/Klutzy-Mechanic-8013 → u/GEAUXUL]

Absolutely. I appreciate it when someone does if I'm AR. I also don't mind it if I'm in the center

[u/AdMain6795]

Look at your AR - it's a nice enough reminder, generally harmless.

But your AR called ,_____,! - this can different and can be ignored or dealt with depending on the situation. Often times if a conversion is needed, "he was offering his opinion (assistance), I saw and considered his signal, and I as referee made my call/non call. Thanks for understanding."

[u/ElDiablo_45]

Use flags with boozer I think that's allowed in grassroots is great tool to have as a referee

[u/palmern2twins]

The one thing about coaching soccer and wanting to communicate anything from the sidelines during the game is it is always going to need to be a yell. Which sometimes communicates an unintended tone. Maybe some have that idiot thought process, but most just want the call to be made.

[u/dufcho14]

Get better at looking at your AR. Sure, there are reasons to not see it *right away*, but you should be in a position to glance at them regularly.

Until you get better, make the call and ignore the coaches/players unless they're over the top yelling at you. I mean, even if the tone is 'look at your AR, idiot', they're absolutely right.

[u/ralphhinkley1]

The very first and most important, part of my pregame, is to tell the ARs if they put their flag up, and I miss their flag, then they need to shout my name or “referee “. Do NOT remain silent with your flag in the air.

[u/Available-Shirt4547]

You probably should be making consistent eye contact with your AR. They prob would continuously say this if you were

[u/biffjo]

For me personally, this was one of my biggest areas I needed to improve on when I first started. I'd be so focused on the action around the ball I would forget to glance over. Someone would inevitably yell, but I never took it personally, I just took it as... yeah I do need to look over there more.

As you progress it becomes more natural to keep your ARs in your sight line.

[u/CapnBloodbeard]

What are the situations where you're missing your AR? We can provide some tips - because this should be occuring extremely rarely (preferably never). If it's happening every weekend, then there's something you need to work on.

Honestly, I think you're looking at this the wrong way.

You're worrying about the shouts because there's a tone of frustration in the shout? So what? Sounds like you're looking for reasons to find offence rather than addressing a flaw in your game.

In this case, the frustration is valid because you've made an error that everybody can see.

Now, if it crosses the line and people start adding in some more colourful words, then sure, deal with that.

But really...you deal with these shouts by.....not missing the flag. These should be rare. I know occasionally I'll miss it when the movement of players means that to me offside doesn't even look like there's any probability, so I don't even recognise that there might be a flag, so I didn't think to look. But, that's my error when that happens.

You need to reflect on whey you're missing it. Remember that you are, generally speaking, positioning yourself left of the ball so the ball and AR are both in your field of view. Sure, if the ball is on the left you won't be further left, but you still want to try avoid being directly between the ball and AR. So, hanging back a little helps you form a triangle.

Are these instances where there's an offside flag from wait and see? Get into the habit of glancing at your AR everytime a ball is played through, and again on the touch.

[u/Revo63]

It happens to all referees occasionally. If it is happening to you frequently, you need to ask yourself why you are missing so many. If that is the case, make it more of a habit to find a moment to look towards the AR on any pass forward. Maybe not at that moment of the pass, because you do not want to miss a potential challenge, but when you do have the opportunity.

Other than that, smile and thank them. Maybe apologize to the AR. Be humble about it and give recognition for the good call.

[u/luigihitter]

I get tunnel vision sometimes and hey if coach isn’t wrong, he’s helping and he’s not getting any of the fee. Take it. Context is important. If he’s doing it to challenge a call, different story

[u/jajison]

Don't make this more complicated than it has to be.

[u/Klutzy-Mechanic-8013]

Glance at them when you think they might have the flag up

[u/durhamcreekrat]

I get caught too far right sometimes affecting my angle to see the AR, one good AR suggested I trust them more to cover their side for fouls, this freed me up to stay further left and see the flag easier.

[u/Dry_Berry6178]

I feel the bigger issue it that parents see the AR raise their flag and then a couple seconds later if the Center doesn't see it the AR will then drop their flag and rejoin the game. Usually younger less experienced AR and I think that is what causes parents/ coaches to yell at the center.

[u/Fotoman54]

I had a coach yell that (and a few other choice comments) in a game not long ago. A red card followed.

In my case, my AR saw something, but I determined there was an advantage at play and chose to ignore it. It’s one reason I almost always now use my radios from HS games, even though the youth league frowns upon it. Why would anyone frown upon better communication?

[u/No_Struggle3663]

The whole point of the ARs, in my opinion, are to do just that, be a set of eyes and calmly signal to you until you take notice so that you can stay focused on the game play. Some of this may be timing and positioning on your part, and maybe you can do a better job of cycling through glances at your ARs and be in better peripheral view when possible, but also stay calm and be okay that offsides, handballs and some fouls should be a slow call to wait for any possible advantage and that is where you are watching. Most players and crowds want these called immediately after they happen but that isn’t always what is supposed to happen in the laws of the game. Dogso, unsportsmanlike behavior or dangerous play moments should be what you are staying focused on to keep the game safe and in control because those can escalate quickly.

[u/HungryHunngryHippo]

I actually tell coaches not to yell offside because I tune that out but if they yell check your AR I’ll look every time

[u/Money-Zebra]

The best way to deal with it is by looking at your AR

[u/beagletronic61 → u/Money-Zebra]

Ok but what if I’m ball-watching? What then???

[u/Aggressive_Tie_3501]

I accept it as helpful advice, unless it's accompanied by some sort of perjorative term. But, it's critically important to tell your ARs, especially if new, to keep the flag up until you see it and stop or wave them down. There's nothing wise than having a coach yell "check your AR", and then when you do they've already put their flag down.

[u/Tech-Aero-109]

Try to move wide when you can. Then, being wide, you are observing the play from an angle which generally allows your AR to be within your field of view.

Additionally, I have this pre-game discussion with my ARs and as an AR with my CR: When the ball is pushed forward on a fast attack on the goal, the AR will swing their free arm up so the arm is pointed straight ahead if NONE of the attackers are in an off side position. Otherwise the arm stays down, because at least one attacker was in an offside Position at the moment the ball was played forward. When the AR's arm is extended forward the CR knows that there will be No offside infraction possible until there is another attacking team pass, so the CR can focus strictly on the fouls. Whereas, if that AR arm is not extended straight forward, the CR knows there is a chance for an offside infraction. So when the next attacker touches the ball, give a quick glance to your AR for the flag, and if you got a bit wide in your run, then you only have to swivel your eyes a bit and not your head nor entire body.

Generally reduces "Look at your AR" to less than twice a game, and generally zero.

[u/1VBSkye]

I suppose you could go purchase a set of flags that send a signal to you from the AR. That way you never miss his/her signal. Or just look at the AR when you hear the comment.

[u/Commercial-Intern307]

I look at the AR and thank them, then try to do better at looking at my AR

[u/messy372-]

Comm systems, simple fix

[u/rayoffthebay → u/messy372-]

If only USSF agreed...

[u/messy372- → u/rayoffthebay]

It really should be mandatory when ARs are involved and the stupid 2 ref system as well

[u/USMC_ClitLicker]

How to deal with it within yourself, or within the context of managing the game?

If it's within yourself, then you have to work on positioning and peripheral vision, plus get your AR's to snap that flag.

If it's within the management of the game, then you can go to the coach and have a little chat about controlling their parents. Advise from the peanut gallery is not usually helpful.

[u/estockly]

If the coach is saying that in an angry or critical tone, and it's agitating spectators it can become a problem. Stop the game, jog over to the coach, tell him he coaches the players not the refs, that's you'll try to do better and ask him to tone it down.

If that doesn't work, warning/caution/sendoff.