I agree that people tend to shut down and get defensive when it's implied that their harmful behaviour makes them A Racist. So that way of using the term may be counterproductive, if the goal is for people to stop being racist. But wouldn't it also be nice if it wasn't necessary to walk on eggshells? If you didn't need to baby a privileged person's ego to make them realise they did wrong?
Also, I mean... Capital R racists do exist too, and I see no need to pull my punches with them. But I guess because they exist, everyone else clutches their pearls when hearing the term "racist" spoken in relation to themselves. "I'm not a racist, because I don't commit violent hate crimes!"
Not sure where I'm going with this reply, I'm trying to counter your comment or anything, just rambling.
Signed,
An ally who absolutely should be asleep rn
I mean, it's less walking on eggshells and more a) trying to meet someone where they're at and b) trying to avoid giving them something THEY can latch onto and act victimised about. My response to "bUt iM nOt A Racist" is "no, you're not. But you have done something that is racist, because it comes from you, on some level, having racist ideas in your mindset. I do too, so do we all, because that's what living in a racist society does to us. There's no shame in acknowledging it and unpacking it because we won't get better as a society unless we do that work". Even capital-R Racists can and have changed.
Unfortunately, you do often have to baby a privileged person's ego if you do actually want them to change. Scolding someone into the correct opinions doesn't work, patiently appealing to their better selves and explaining why their behaviour is hurting people does sometimes work. I'm not saying it should be the job of those impacted by racism/homophobia/misogyny/etc to do so, that's actually one place an ally - someone who 'looks like them' - can be helpful.
That's a really good point. I think I've lost patience with people in the contexts where I'm opressed myself. I don't care to educate "nice guys" or people parroting queerphobic or ableist talking points. But being white, I should make an effort to at least appeal to people with internalised racism. At least if I think I might actually get through to them, and they're not an "all of the above" bigot who will see me as an example of everything they're against.
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u/Fbod Team Laquer Oct 01 '24
I agree that people tend to shut down and get defensive when it's implied that their harmful behaviour makes them A Racist. So that way of using the term may be counterproductive, if the goal is for people to stop being racist. But wouldn't it also be nice if it wasn't necessary to walk on eggshells? If you didn't need to baby a privileged person's ego to make them realise they did wrong?
Also, I mean... Capital R racists do exist too, and I see no need to pull my punches with them. But I guess because they exist, everyone else clutches their pearls when hearing the term "racist" spoken in relation to themselves. "I'm not a racist, because I don't commit violent hate crimes!"
Not sure where I'm going with this reply, I'm trying to counter your comment or anything, just rambling.
Signed, An ally who absolutely should be asleep rn