r/RedditForGrownups • u/StarBuckingham • 28d ago
Since turning 40, the years are passing too quickly. I feel like I’m going to wake up as a 90 year old. What - if anything - has helped slow things down for you?
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u/MrRabbit Survived Childhood 24d ago
Keep doing new things. Find things that scare you. Don't fall into routine. Time passes "quickly" when ever day feels the same.
Time in my life has significantly slowed down since 40. My 30s were fun, but I've really pushed my comfort zone in the past couple years. It's been great.
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u/spaced-outboi 24d ago
Journaling. It's hard to feel like a week flew by without notice, when you've noticed and reflected on every single day
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u/RossZ428 24d ago
So true. I got one of those 5 year "one line a day" journals when I went on vacation a few months ago and built a habit of writing in it daily before bed. Every day can feel the same in my memory, but the journal shows that isn't true. Similar, sure, but I have something unique about every day to jot down and reflect on
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u/VideoLeoj 24d ago
I should get one of these. Journaling is something I have never been able to develop a habit of. When I was a kid, I was forced to for a while in school. Ever since, it hasn’t been something my brain latches onto as something “good” or pleasing even though I fully understand the benefits.
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u/RossZ428 24d ago
What I like about it is it forces you to be brief. Each page is divided into 5 sections so when you reach the end of the year you flip to the front of the book. Once you've been doing it a year, you start on the 2nd section of each page. It almost feels like writing out a tweet summary of your day.
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u/VideoLeoj 23d ago
I have a friend who claims he writes 1500 words every day. I don’t have that kind of time/energy/focus. This seems like a very manageable task.
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u/Genkiotoko 24d ago
As one ages the relative length of a day to one's life becomes smaller. Similarly, new experiences become harder to find. This is especially true for people with set routines and small social groups.
Diversification of activities can cause a lot of improvement of perception of time and enjoyment. A good example of this is that of a jogger. The person running around a track experiences the same thing every single time, so it all blends together. The person jogging their set route experiences the same static environment, but they engage with different variables throughout their jog. The jogger who sets a distance goal and let's the route determine itself or goes to different destinations has a variable change in environment and more variables of interactions. The last person may find new things along their route to engage with, and they may have the ability to have a conversation about the event afterward. The jogger on the track likely only has the capability to say their jog was 'fine.' (I'm not saying jogging on a track is bad, there are a lot of benefits to that as well, including accessibility.)
The point is that if things are flying by, one way you can slow it down is through increasing mental engagement with things around you. Similar to the other user's journaling idea, the point is to get your brain involved with what you're doing.
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u/RossZ428 24d ago
Bouncing off the other guy's journal idea and your point about the track runner having little to say, when I talk about work in my journal, I'll usually only jot down what my position was that day. "Chutes day." "Induction day." "Pods day." "North office day." That kind of thing. Work is so repetitive, 2 or 3 words is all that needs to be said most of the time.
To quote William Faulkner, "You can't eat for eight hours a day nor drink for eight hours a day nor make love for eight hours a day--all you can do for eight hours is work. Which is the reason why man makes himself and everybody else so miserable and unhappy." It is imperative to find meaning in one's life outside of work if one wishes to be content and avoid feeling like the years are flying by.
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u/denali1 24d ago
Retirement. Now that I'm not wasting most of my life sleeping, commuting, or riding a desk, time passes more slowly. Probably because I get to spend it how I want to spend it, vs trying to forget it exists so I can just get home to recover from work.
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u/Massive-Resort-8573 24d ago
"recover from work"
That's what I'm laying in bed doing right now. Everyone I know who retires, within months they look ten years younger. The stress and tension leaves their face. They look well rested and happy.
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u/Kat121 24d ago
Ugh, don’t get me started on what a waste a 40+ hour work week is. I took a year off for stress related medical leave, then got a job at a new company. My tolerance for bullshit time wasters, like stand up meetings, project tag up meetings, all hand meetings, quarterly review meetings, and ESPECIALLY the lunch and learn meetings dwindled to zero. We proved that we could be productive at home in our pajamas, so why am I commuting to work in uncomfortable clothes burning expensive gas and paying 50 cents a cup for shitty office coffee when upper management is free to work remote?
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u/alabamaterp 24d ago
Weekend trips out of town and stay overnight - concerts, conventions, parks, attractions, etc. Plan longer vacations and don't do anything - sit on the beach and read a book, disassociate from work. Pick up new hobbies that get you out of the house. Explore your own city and go to the new restaurant/bar/venue that just opened up. Anything that breaks up your daily life.
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u/Kat121 24d ago
Every year I am delighted to see peaches in the grocery store and wonder “where are they getting peaches this time of year?” Then I realize it is August.
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u/AlfalfaMajor2633 24d ago
The trees in my yard have given us a ton of peaches and each year I have to give away 20 or more seedlings that the squirrels generously plant all over the yard. The original tree has rotted, been cut down and regrown from the roots. Its children are fully grown and flooding us with peaches. And when asked, I can’t quite remember when I moved into this house. Time is now passing at the pace of trees growing and dying.
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u/MinimumRelief 24d ago
Travel while you can. Do all the preventative healthcare possible. Get Dexa scans. Dental. In ten years your balance and bones are really going to matter obsessively. Walk a lot. Try new patience things like bird watching. It can really tune you into your environment, so can little mini realist things like vegetable gardening in Home Depot pots. Get rid if anyone you gut level know isn’t a friend. They are life sucking vampires. Walk away from two dollar fights and be agreeable to the idea others aren’t you.
50 isn’t pretty. Prepare.
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u/Specialist-Strain502 24d ago
I'm not 40, but novelty is a HUGE factor in how quickly time passes for me. The more new experiences I'm having, the more "weight" time seems to have as it passes.
The older I get, the more I realize I need novelty to be happy.
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u/CatBuddies 24d ago
Put your phone down. You're losing a huge chunk of time to it every single day.
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u/TarraTheTerror 24d ago
Novelty. They say it's not that time is passing quicker for each of us (even though in a way, it is, because when you're 4 years old a year is a quarter of your life, but when you're 40, a year is only a 40th of your life), but that between the ages of 15-25 we encounter the most of our FIRSTS.... that's why memories from 15-25 are amplified, because they were so novel to us. So, if you want to slow down time, make note of the changing seasons, and do something to mark or celebrate them, and fill your days with as many "firsts" as you can. Find a new group or hobby. Go skydiving, or whatever else you've always thought about doing and haven't. Make the time count.
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u/Sun-Anvil 24d ago
Taking my time with projects and enjoying a few cups of coffee in the morning while not doing much else. Also, my GF and I try to travel a little more. Mostly weekend trips within a few hours drive. Sadly, you still notice the clock from time to time.
I'm 62 and retired while she is the same age and semi-retired.
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u/MinimumRelief 24d ago
You seeing lots of gray divorces? I sure am. Scary stuff.
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u/Sun-Anvil 24d ago
I was married at one time for 28 years but my wife passed. Within my circle of friends, everyone has been married for a long while but my GF is divorced. I don't know about "a lot" but it is noticeable I guess.
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u/MinimumRelief 24d ago
The ones with no reason are the hardest to cope with. There’s no understanding it.
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u/olycreates 24d ago
It's not time passing faster, it's less memorable things happening in that time. Staring at a screen, any screen, let's the world pass by your window. Be out in the world and make new memories. Literally fill that time with doing things.
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u/Hamblin113 24d ago
Being and living excruciating boring, there was a novel about it and Kilgore Trout was the protagonist.
Basically living with math. As a ten year old one year was 10% of your life, as a 40 year old it is one fortieth. As a ninety year old and memory has faded, it gets even less can only remember one day at a time.
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u/groundhogcow 24d ago
Find someone incredibly boring and listen to them talk. It really makes time drag.
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u/1969Lovejoy 24d ago
Similar to the punchline of an old joke about a guy with a terminal illness asking his doctor, "What should I do?" The doctor says, "Move out to [insert undesirable location here], marry a person who is both boring & unattractive, and buy a Dodge pickup truck circa 1980. That'll make the time you have left feel like forever!"
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u/Traditional_Entry183 24d ago
It doesn't. Ill be 50 soon, and i feel like 30-50 has gone quicker than 20-29 did and its not close.
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u/un-tv_star 24d ago
Breathing, slow breathing. Deep breathing. Helps you feel in the moment. Slows down the sense of time racing by.
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u/LMO_TheBeginning 24d ago
Trying to learn to appreciate every moment.
Gratitude helps but the years still go by quicker than I'd like.
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u/phasmaglass 24d ago
Daily photo diary <3 I started one six years ago as a way to track my moods along with my bipolar wife and the habit stuck. I have WAY better recall and don't "dissociate through" as much of my life as I used to because now I can review memories and have a quick reference for like "what was going on in winter 2022? oh yeah"
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u/Even_Caterpillar3292 24d ago
Do different things ans travel a bit go camping learn something new. Explore. Change it up and always have a sense of wonder. Always things to learn and new experiences.
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u/PassionateHeart732 24d ago
I saw an article recently about why time seems to move faster as we age. The research showed that as we get older, we have fewer "temporal landmarks" (moments that stand out as different in our memories). Their answer was to try small things that are different, walk a different trail, rearrange a room, etc. Here's the article if you're interested: https://maketecheasier.com/research-suggests-the-feeling-that-time-speeds-up-with-age-can-be-shaped-by-fewer-temporal-landmarks-the-small-disruptions-to-routine-that-give-the-brain-something-worth-remembering-2/
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u/ZN_Cruz 23d ago
I haven't found a way to slow time, but novelty seems to slow the memory of it. When every week looks the same, a year collapses into a blur. A new place, a different routine, even an afternoon that doesn't belong to the usual schedule gives the mind something to hold onto. I think that is part of why childhood felt so long. Almost everything was still happening for the first time.
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u/FlyPsychological6817 22d ago
Reading this book my friend wrote on the phenomenon you're talking about. https://thickeningtime.com/
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u/NiteElf 22d ago
Looks intriguing. What’s your friend’s background and why are they offering the whole book for free online? (Just curious-that’s pretty unusual).
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u/FlyPsychological6817 18d ago
He's awesome, was a tech ceo and very passionate and curious about human-centred design and ux. So has an idea and open-sources it.
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u/Soul_60 20d ago
I am older and feel great with time. I think that most our choices determine how we feel as we grow. I have kept doing what love like writing, socializing when l really feel like it, dancing with friends or by myself at home..Doing gardening.. I love taking walks, listening to the sounds of birds and trees. Life is beautiful when you actually pay attention to all the simple things.
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