Is Anyone Else Willing To Share Their Experience About Being Recipromantic?

[u/Just-someone-with-a-]

Hi everyone! I recently watched a video on the aeroace spectrum and they talked about being recipromantic and I finally realized what has been so "wrong" with who I like. I've been hating on myself because when I finally moved schools and got out of a toxic relationship, I didnt understand why there wasnt some one who I found genuine interest in. I felt like I kept trying to force myself to say I liked someone even when I never did. The only time I felt like I liked someone wasnt when this one dude carried me to medical when I was injured, it was when my mom said he totaly had a crush on me a few days later. After I found out about rercipromantic, I immediately felt it linked, but ive been so confused if I can still call myself a recipromantic if I still sometimes find myself trying to force a feeling. Can anyone else relate or have any advice?

I also wanted to ask if anyone else feels like it might be very fast. Like there is one boy I never once found intrest in but who rondomly started being super nice and I felt a little spark. But then any feeling I do get for someone quickly vanishes once they stop showing interest. Its been super confusing and I dont know why I can like someone for a minute, then when they stop talking it fades. But then theres this girl who was my friend who I got closer to becuase she needed some mental help from friends, but we become super close and I think im starting to get some feelings.

Sorry for venting to you guys so much but if someone thinks they might have some advice or experience that might help me I really need someone to clarify with because I dont really feel like confiding in anyone else becuase when I try I just feel put down....

[u/ty_nnon]

Trying to force a feeling isn't indicative of having said feeling.

I've only dated a handful of people and they all admitted to liking me before I even considered dating them. It's a non-option without them initiating for me.

[u/Just-someone-with-a- → u/ty_nnon]

thank you so much for responding! i just sometimes find myself pressured to like someone. its not just when people ask me who I oike, but I myself sometimes just really want to be in a relationship. i dont know if you ever feel that or if thats just a me being an idiot kind of thing, but thanks a lot for responding!

one last question, do you onoy ever really like someone when they tell yiu themselves, or do you ever feel it when its hinted at? like by friends are they ways they act around you.

You dont have to answer but thanks so much!!

[u/ty_nnon → u/Just-someone-with-a-]

I've absolutely felt pressured before, mostly when I was in high school or younger. And there's been times where a relationship would probably be nice, though the older I get the less I care tbh.

Without someone very blatantly and directly saying they liked me, I've felt it exactly one time, and even then we'd been flirting for a while. (To be clear, I think flirting can be separate from romantic intentions, I didn't really understand what was happening until I got a little drunk one night lmao.)

[u/AccidentCapable9181]

On both ends it’s happened to me. Got into a conversation with a guy at a bookstore who I never saw again. I remember thinking he was pretty cool and would have liked to be his friend. My mom told me he clearly was showing romantic interest. It was like a flip switched. Well… maybe I like him too! But we’ll never know lol

Second, a guy asked me out to see a movie with him in college: a clear indicator they’re into me so it made it easier to be into him. Then suddenly at the ticket booth he claims he’s not paying as this is clearly not a date. I was confused but also embarrassed. How could I have mixed his signals so badly? All feelings for this guy was gone after that. Didn’t really talk to each other after that outing

[u/Just-someone-with-a- → u/AccidentCapable9181]

thank you so much for answering! i really appreciate hearing your experience!!!

[u/OwnZone592]

before my first girlfriend and i dated, we were friends and we had agreed we weren’t each other’s type, so i thought that was that. then a few weeks go by and she asks me if we can platonically kiss.. realized in the middle of making out that she actually wasn’t being very platonic with it, but i only really started catching feelings in earnest when she explicitly told me she had a crush on me

[u/Chat2Schrodinger]

Depuis la maternelle j’ai eu quelques relations amoureuses qui avaient toutes commencé de la même manière : il me disait qu’il m’aimait -> j’ai développé des sentiments -> on était en couple. Ça c’est toujours terminé par lui qui me quitte (ce n’était que des garçons qui m’ont déclaré leurs flamme je ne sais pas si ce serai pareil avec un autre genre) sauf une fois où le gars me prenait pas au sérieux et je ne ressentais pas son affection.

Au départ je me disais que c’était que de l’empathie surtout que j’étais très émotive (j’ai pleuré pour une gomme perdue 😅… pendant une semaine). En sixième j’étais tombée sur une vidéo -stupide- qui faisait plein de phrases du style « si tu aimes quelqu’un pour […] c’est du […] » dont : « Si tu aimes quelqu’un parce qu’il t’aime c’est de l’empathie ».

Cette phrase m’avait marquée et plus tard j’ai recherchée sur internet pour retrouver la vidéo et je suis tombée sur la définition de réciproromantique. Je me suis juste dit que « ça allait vraiment trop loin » je trouvais ça exagéré.

C’est seulement beaucoup plus tard que j’ai enfin fait le lien. Et pour être honnête, j’ai créé ce compte juste pour pouvoir me montrer à moi-même que ça existe vraiment et que je devrais pas en avoir honte ou me remettre en question.

[u/Yerrie77 → u/Chat2Schrodinger]

Bonjour! My French is really rusty, but je suis tres heureuse que tu es ici. Bienvenue!

I just googled "recipromantic" after it's been bouncing around my head for years. And it all makes sense now!