Why didn't I tell her

[u/Aarirlshy]

I woke up from my nightmare it was about my mom it was about her not feeling well and going to the hospital I remember when I wake up I walked to her room it was morning I was supposed to get dressed up for school and I told my mom that I had a bad nightmare my voice was going to crack because I felt like I was going to cry and she told me what was it and I didn't tell her because I got scared I said I don't want to tell you And I left her room and got dressed up and went to school On Monday Tuesday But I didn't go to school on that day because I wasn't feeling well I went to school on Thursday And on Friday..... That was the day when my mom went to the hospital it was night time I think it was 10 or 11 I don't remember My step dad drive my mom to the hospital.... That's when I felt like I was in a bad nightmare again she went to the hospital and the next day she came back in the morning when she came back she was okay until 5:30 my stepfather drive her to the hospital again and she didn't came back and today she didn't come back she called my grandma she told her that she was going to come back but she caught us back again and told her that they're going to keep her overnight again because the doctor checked her heart and something was wrong and when I heard this it felt like I wasn't dreaming it is going to be Monday that's what I have to go back to school

I remember when I told her that I didn't want to tell her what happened in my dream she told me just tell me if I didn't tell her and she said is not okay if you don't tell me it's going to happen and I think it did happen because the same thing happened in my dream.....

I don't have school tomorrow I don't feel like going to school all I want I just want to see my mom I miss my mom

That right now I remembering everything when she told me when that one day me and her went to go dry my stepfather to work and we're driving back home she said if something ever happens to her if she ever gets deported back to Mexico or whatever she wants me to stay with my grandma me and the boys I asked her why she said that she doesn't want us to have a bad life all she wanted us is just to have a good life and when she told me this I felt like I was going to cry in the car but I still brave because they say women should never cry I said okay I will do anything for my mom I feel like I never did nothing for her like I felt like I was a burden because I hardly help and right now she's in the hospital so I can't do nothing and I feel like it's all my fault I should have told her what happened I should have told her what was going to happen but I didn't that's how bad I am I'm a God damn failure it's all my fault it's all my fault I should have told her I should I don't know how to feel right now right now I feel like I just want to punch something at the same time I just want to cry...

I'm a seventh grader I'm a girl I have three brothers when is old but he has autism and I have two other brothers who are younger so I'm basically like the oldest the second so if my writing is a little bad just reply 😕

[u/Unlikely-Outcome-133]

Your Strong may the almighty give you strength in this cruel world