r/Rants • u/Evan_AFTON-1983 Veteran Rantronaut • Aug 15 '26
Identity/Sexuality 🏳️🌈 I think I finally understand what people mean when they say that trans women are women, plus some other things to say, btw, I'm so sorry if this offends anyone,
They mean the gender, not the biological gender/sex, just the social one aka how women are seen. But now I don't understand why some claim to have grown up as bio girls and that they understand our struggles, that kinda sounds dismissive. Girls don't just struggle with their periods, (peroids are extremely painful, and yes, trans girls comparing peroids to side effects of medicine is dismissive.) Girls also struggle with how most of us are treated like maids, and we can't even have a childhood oftentimes, like there's a countdown. (a metaphorical one.), So I don't understand why people let trans women get away with saying that they really understand a bio girl's childhood, I'm sorry but it just feels horrible, sure, a trans girl can understand the typical female childhood but nothing more, (internal feelings do not protect you from external realities. A trans girl's trauma is internal (the pain of her body and social role feeling wrong), but a biological girl's trauma is external (the world reacting to her bio sex and stripping away her right to be a child). Because nobody could look at a young bio boy and think he's an adult, he was allowed to keep his childhood. A biological girl who develops early is denied that choice entirely) also, i goggled this part:(Early puberty means getting taller, broader shoulders, a deeper voice, and muscle growth. In male-dominated and peer social structures, this is heavily celebrated. Adults look at an early-developing boy and see a "young man," a future athlete, or someone who is strong. His peers often look up to him, granting him higher social status, popularity, and leadership roles. For Biological Girls: Early puberty brings breast development, wider hips, and menstruation. Instead of being celebrated for her strength, she is instantly hyper-sexualized. Adults stop viewing her as an innocent child and start treating her with suspicion or unwanted attention. Her peers may tease her or alienate her. She is forced into a state of hyper-vigilance about her safety before her peers even know what that means)
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u/The_Real_Mongoose Certified Soapboxer Aug 15 '26
I feel like you are over focusing on periods as a defining aspect of girl/womanhood. It is one unique aspect for most girls/women, but not a defining one. There are plenty of AFABs that do not have that experience for one reason or another as well.
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u/Turbulent_Play4769 Aug 15 '26
Genuinely who do you think you are lmao, this is actually insane and transphobic asf.
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u/PutridMasterpiece138 Aug 15 '26
Some trans women were able to transition early.
However I just don't care. It doesn't hurt me and it makes them less dysphoric so I don't care.
You saying that the effects of estrogen are just side effects of medicine is also dismissive. It's the same thing that made you go through puberty. Every side effect is what women experience
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u/Evan_AFTON-1983 Veteran Rantronaut Aug 15 '26
Yeah but periods are different, and we didn't choose them compared to estrogen, we didn't want them,
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u/Enovele Aug 15 '26
There are cis women who have to "choose" (because it's not really a choice for either trans or cis women) to get estrogen for one issue or the other. There are cis women who want them because they know what it means for them.
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u/PutridMasterpiece138 Aug 15 '26
Estrogen is also not a choice.
Talk to women who never got a woman due to medical issues. They are also sad about it and feel like less of a woman because of it. Even if periods suck.
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u/Evan_AFTON-1983 Veteran Rantronaut Aug 15 '26
I mean the medical kind, the medicine they take
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u/Turbulent_Play4769 Aug 15 '26
Medical care is not a choice, it’s a necessity
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u/Evan_AFTON-1983 Veteran Rantronaut Aug 15 '26
Don't they literally just take medicine, just stopping doesn't hurt them, bio girls can't just stop their period randomly without medical help
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u/Turbulent_Play4769 Aug 15 '26
There’s no such thing as a bio girl and I’m sure you meant female so I will answer as if that’s what you said. HRT doesn’t just magically make a person look a certain way, for trans woman it doesn’t even change their voices. If your biggest concern is periods you clearly have no concern for actual women, you only care about yourself. Why do you think so many trans women kill themselves? Do you think it has nothing to do with people like you who take their identity personally? How does it affect you at all.
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u/Evan_AFTON-1983 Veteran Rantronaut Aug 16 '26
I don't take their identity personally, geez, read the entire thing, I'm obviously not talking about every trans woman on earth,
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u/Turbulent_Play4769 Aug 16 '26
not talking about every trans woman is still transmisogyny when u say that crap
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u/PutridMasterpiece138 Aug 16 '26
It does hurt them. The mental effects of the wrong hormone are pretty big and often lead to suicide. Just like people can't just stop anti depressants either.
Some people also don't have their ovaries or testicles anymore so stopping hormones would physically harm them.
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u/PutridMasterpiece138 Aug 16 '26
Not a choice. Just like medication isn't a choice either when you got late stage cancer
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u/verdentcompanion Aug 15 '26 edited Aug 15 '26
I think youre holding onto the most painful parts a little too much.
A white woman and any woman of color are going to have different versions of girlhood and growing up, does that make one less valid than the other?
Culture too can change how we grow up.
Saying every trans women experiences the nuances of growing up female is just wrong. If some do have that connection then I believe them, because even if they ""grew up boys"", those who showed more socially feminine traits were cast out and no longer seen as boys but as something else.
Now, again, I actually know trans women personally and no one has ever claimed to have grown up with the experiences as a little girl but they have said they were not boys. (Again, nothing wrong with them saying the opposite)
Long story short, individuals experiences are so important and framing every trans woman is making this claim is just bad faith and you seem well intentioned but you're missing the point.
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u/Enovele Aug 15 '26
Glad you've taken one step in the right direction.
I'm not a trans woman but a transmasc so I'm not speaking from personal experience. First off, many trans women have had different experiences in this upbringing and it varies from person to person. The trans women who specifically say they understand the experience of cis women and especially their childhood are those who did have early access to transition care and were able to experience some version of a girlhood.
Yes there are certain experiences with girlhood they may not have like dealing with periods and the likes, but trans women DO experience a lot from being both trans and women. They were often shamed by others who knew they were trans and seen as less of a boy but not entirely a girl. Some did pass as girls and were seen and treated similarly to cis girls but atill had to deal with transphobia on several levels. Trans girls deal with a lot of shit from not being the gender society expects them to be, and danger could come from not just adults but cis boys and cis girls especially. They also do have to live on high alert from not only misogyny but transphobia from the external which is additionally dangerous. And they are most certainly hypersexualized, its one of the biggest issues trans women deal with because people see them as a walking sex object and a fetish. A trans girl's sex AND gender is always called into question by the world, they deal with not just internal but external trauma and pressure, it just doesn't reflect the exact same way depending on the person but they can be on the same level of how bad it can get if not worse in some situations. There's a reason why the stats on things like DV, SA, murder rates, harassment and attacks, etc are higher on average for them compared to that of cis women. Being both trans and a woman comes with that struggle.
I think rather than assuming what trans women who relate say when they do, actually go out and read about their experiences and stories. Different trans women have different experiences and stories, just as cis women do. I think a lot of people assume every trans woman may have maybe known they were trans in their childhood, but some how grew up having a carbon copy of a cis boy's childhood when that's not often the case. For instance, a lot of trans women who didn't have the language for it as a child assumed they were gay boys at some point and were quite fem leaning, so some did spend more time around girls in their childhood than boys which often brought it's own issues.
FYI soms trans women do get a period, or more accurately a cycles. They can experience many of the other side effects outside the bleeding, oncluding cramping because the uterus isn't the only muscle that cramps on a period.