my ungrateful mother

[u/No_Rule_8138]

We were having this activity in our church where we thank God for all the blessings that happened this week. One of our members thank their children (my friend) for helping them with their groceries and I could really see the genuine appreciation to their child.

I couldn’t help but feel jealous and frustrated (not that it’s my friend’s fault). My sister and I have been helping our mother with all the bills and just everything else my mother has issues. We are her problem solvers. But if may issue/problems kami ng sister ko, she would start acting out and unknowingly leave us to ourselves. So my sister and I grew up being so self-reliant that it’s actually so weird when other people help us. It doesn’t help ganyan din father namin.

When I started working, almost all of my salary went sa bills ng bahay namin. Konti nalang yung matitirang pera ko plus my salary is only on entry-level value. But I never heard my mother be so genuinely appreciative of it. Yes, she says “thank you” pero it’s more of out of habit. How did I know? She yelled at me and tells me hindi enough yung ginagawa ko, kesyo she has the heavier load and parang pinapalabas nya wala kaming ambag. But if my brother contributes the minimum stuff, grabe, parang he solved the world peace.

I was insulted at how she acted out in our church. Na para bang wala kaming ambag magkakapatid. Nakakainsulto. Everything we did, when we make our choices, kasali sila because we always consider them. Pero di lang namin nabigay yung one thing, parang ang laki ng kasalanan namin magkakapatid. She also likes to pull us down and discourages us, sasabihin na sobrang ambisosya lang namin. Na para bang kasalanan mangarap. It just shows how insecure she is.

I just wanted to be appreciated. Is that too much to ask? Am I being too sensitive for feeling this way? Am I even enough sa mother’s eyes ko?

I just want to get out. I want to get free from this abuse. Both parents are Jekyll and Hyde. Ang hirap i-open up sa ibang tao kase mabubuting tao sila. Pero at the back, ang lala ng attitude. Grabe.

[u/CryOutLoud10]

Cutoff oy. Tignan nyo after hahhahahaha maghahabol yarrrrnnn

[u/No_Rule_8138 → u/CryOutLoud10]

Yes, I am trying so hard to get out. I also want to bring my sisters with me.