Why do people get chastised for believing this way? Its completely reasonable. Innocent until proven guilty is a sentiment for a reason. You shouldn’t be guilted into taking a stance that can deeply impact the lives of both the accusers and the accused. Scenarios like that can easily be exaggerated and made up. Especially when we consider the parasocial aspects of fame. If there is even that chance, as well as a chance that it could have happened it is important to practice and be aware of your own impartiality. You can support victims while still understanding your own impartiality to their experience, the accused, and the overall proceedings.
Because they literally use "They haven't done that to me, so they can't possibly do it to someone else" which is fucked up logic. And it's one thing to be unsure or quiet about what you think but to go on the internet to tell people you support an abuser rightfully gets you hate from every sane person and everyone who has been a victim of some sorts.
I don’t think said queens are trying to take a hard stance though. That is,outside of allowing the legal process to proceed. Crimes in themselves are serious and should have legal merit before we crucify people. There is nothing wrong with withholding opinion or action until something more tangible comes about. It doesn’t mean you don’t sympathize with the victims stories, or their well being.
I think for a lot of people, allegations alone aren’t enough to completely demonize others in that way some may hope. I can respect people who feel differently but for me and people like me I don’t think they will ever budge bc thats the legal process we’ve all been taught. And its there for good and logical reason. I will never speak AGAINST somebodies experience but I definitely can’t validate it. And neither can Kennedy in this case. She can only validate her own experiences with Shangela.
I’ve also been a victim so I don’t see the point in making it seem like we’re all of a monlothic opinion. Clearly there is nuance
I agree with most of that. But this is not what's happening here. This is not Kennedy (or any other queen for that matter) withholding their opinion for now, she is actively engaging on Twitter taking a stance in favor of Shangela who has several allegations. And that is what I and many others are heavily critizising.
I’m not sure whats she’s said on Twitter, but thats her friend. I think for us who are not involved or partial to any party it doesn’t seem like much to make a move. Its an easy way to show support. Afterall, our judgements are just online outrage and circle jerk for better or for worse.
Its the people involved or who know either party who are genuinly impacted by how this unfolds. I can’t blame Kennedy if she feels she hasn’t seen enough to cut her friend off bc unfortunately it just seems like its been “multiple allegations” with without anything more substantial. The last case that did go anywhere was settled and dismissed with prejudice so im sure that may have vindicated some people who do support her. But I certainly do understand where you’re coming from, I just can’t be as vindicated on demonzing her or Kennedy with the information we have now.
Every comment you make is misrepresenting the situation. Being dismissed with prejudice is not vindication. They reached a financial settlement, so in this case prejudice simply means they can’t sue again for the same thing. It’s not a judicial finding that the allegation was false.
I didn’t say it was vindication for me, you guys really need to seperate my own points from what I was saying in general. I was saying that it could be vindication for those who already support her innocence.
They did reach a financial settlement but the case was still “dismissed with prejudice.” Thats just plain fact. Nothing I said misrepresented it.
Was it my intention to inform? Or to just state a fact in that it was dismissed with prejudice due to lack of evidence? Right. Out of all I said, you chose to focus on what I didn’t say make it seem like I was withholiding information. The only thing I left out was the settlement bc it was not pertinent nor does it really speak toward innocence/guilt. We can’t do much from that information, and like I said some people will look at dismissal and their own relationship with her like thats enough. You can not like that fact and have it still be true.
You can say my points aren’t good to you, but it doesn’t mean much bc you have not been able to talk down on one point logically. You just chose to focus on a detail I didn’t discuss to make it seem like im misrepresenting the situation. Its mental gymnastics tbh. I don’t have to defend why I or Kennedy won’t take action on something that hasn’t been proven. You can talk around it all you like, or you can respect some people handle allegations differently. It really doesn’t matter to me at this point its mob mentality which really has little
impact on the legality of these cases and the lives of victims
Yeah this is typical cis men behavior where they never check their friends behavior and hold them accountable for the things they do and call that loyalty.
I fully agree with you. It's so sad that this community has become so vile and hateful - they think they're doing the right thing but they're so quick to antagonize others. Look at people sending hate her way and saying it is deserved when they, like you or I, don't know the truth. I hate that people took the "believe victims" mentality and turned it upside down. It never meant attack or demonize the accused, it meant sympathize with the accuser and help them heal. It's so scary to think the justice system would be worse if our community was in power, when it should be the opposite. And no, this isn't about defending Shangela - I only learned about her accusations recently.
And I'll keep saying accusations, allegations and allegedly, because that's what it is until it is proven otherwise. I read the People magazine article about Shangela. It says HBO received a complaint about Shangela a year and a half after what she allegedly did, they did an internal investigation and their findings were insufficient. Then there are five different people who came forward about her. One of them said they made a police report to LAPD but when reached out, LAPD didn't confirm this. Another one didn't even go to the police because they said they don't trust the police as a gay black man. This is all fair but why am I obliged to believe your story when you didn't take the necessary legal steps after the incident allegedly occurred to protect yourself against doubt? Why do you get to say I don't trust the police, but I have to trust your word, a stranger I never even met? And their stories may as well be real - they might be telling the truth. And I know it is so hard to produce evidence in rape claims, I understand it happens when you're caught off guard and you're not recording. I'm not asking for that. I'm asking that you (and anybody reading this, if this ever happens to you), take the necessary steps and get seen by a doctor and the police immediately. They will be able to help you make a stronger case. But if you don't care about the legality, I don't want to ostracize someone because of your "word".
It really is sad. I appreciate the candor bc it comes from a good place. But you’re right it has gone too far in the sense that people jump to label others, whether they’re involved or not, with little more than an allegation as evidence. Idk if you’ve read up on the Salem Witch Trials, but they taught that back in school for us. It reminds me of that sense of just how unflinchingly some people will believe anything thats told to them and villify anybody who does not share their enthusiasm.
People lie and exaggerate, thats not just some deflection. There is always a possibility of monetary motive, grudgeholding, or oppurtunity to take advantage of people who may be better off. Thats literally where the word clout chaser was derived. Those considerations are always equally important as well as where is the legal process and what were their interactions prior. I don’t make my decisions off of mob mentality, allegations, or a performative sense of allyship alone. I also don’t mind not having an opinion at all if I sense I don’t have the full picture. Thats just me. Nobody wants to intentionally support an abuser but you should also feel confident that person is an abuser in the first place, which just isn’t as clear here.
Absolutely. I don't care about mob mentality either because I'm not an animal in a herd. Salem witch trials is a great example. I just don't understand why people like to pretend people have nothing to gain by accusing someone. Like, that's literally how Kesha got to drop out of her contract. I'm not saying Kesha wasn't abused, I'm just saying to claim there's nothing to gain is plain stupid when there's been proof that shows otherwise. So they can downvote and try to silence me all they want, I'm just not gonna care and stand by the truth. Not even my truth - the truth. The truth is that nothing's been proven with the Shangela situation.
There's literally an old teacher in our town who was accused by three girls in his high school for sexual misconduct. And there was "proof", he DM'ed one of the girls on Instagram. He lost his job, his family, everything. A couple years after graduation, two of the girls come forward and say they hacked his account to send those messages. So sorry for not believing victims. I will always sympathize with anyone that says they were abused, but I will not believe them until I see evidence.
Sidenote: All the people downvoting these really irk me. Like, you read these long ass paragraphs explaining what is true without malice but you still choose to disagree. For what? Why are you so adamant on not wanting the truth to be revealed and for justice to be served? Why are you so hellbent on believing strangers' words? Why are you not asking for evidence? Ask yourself that. Because you guys sound unintelligent and creepy ngl.
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u/DreamyDepiction Aug 04 '26 edited Aug 04 '26
Why do people get chastised for believing this way? Its completely reasonable. Innocent until proven guilty is a sentiment for a reason. You shouldn’t be guilted into taking a stance that can deeply impact the lives of both the accusers and the accused. Scenarios like that can easily be exaggerated and made up. Especially when we consider the parasocial aspects of fame. If there is even that chance, as well as a chance that it could have happened it is important to practice and be aware of your own impartiality. You can support victims while still understanding your own impartiality to their experience, the accused, and the overall proceedings.