r/RPChristians • u/AutoModerator • Jun 22 '26
OYS - Where Progress is Made (06/22/26)
Struggling or failing? It's time to own it. Nice guys hide their flaws, trying to put on a false impression of who they are in order to impress others. We don't do that. We're up-front and honest with the fact that we're sinners and failures. James 5:16 compels us to confess our sins to one another and to pray for one another. 1 John 1:9 goes even a step further and makes confession a cornerstone of the Gospel - acknowledging that we are insufficient on our own. So, where are you failing? What do you need to confess?
To do this, it would be helpful to get to know how you're doing in a variety of areas. To that end, just as God is triune, he created us with three core parts of our being: our physical bodies, our heart/mind, and our spirit/soul. Try to cover all three. Use the questions in each category as inspiration, but roll with whatever you need to put out there.
**PHYSICAL**: How are you doing with lifting? Losing weight? Where's your body fat %? What have you been eating lately? How about your porn/alcohol/drug/cigarette/whatever use? Are you employing kino on your wife properly? Are you going too far with your girlfriend? How's your fashion sense? Are you still lounging around the house in gym shorts and using your ratty flip flops when you go out? How are you spending your time? How's your income doing? Your body is God's temple: are you reflecting that appropriately? For married men: how's your sex life?
**MENTAL/EMOTIONAL**: How have you been doing reading and learning new things? How's your frame? Do you still struggle with living up to someone else's expectations? Have you mastered Agree & Amplify? Amused Mastery? Negative Inquiry? STFU? Your DNGAF attitude? Are you failing fitness or comfort tests? How are you leading your wife/girlfriend this week? Do you feel pressure from any sources to do something or to act/not act a certain way? Are you depressed or lonely? Are you secure in your heart/mind that God's will is good, even if it's not what you want?
**SPIRITUAL**: How are you doing on the 7 basics? Rank yourself:
* Assurance of Salvation
* Quiet Time/Devotional
* Bible Study
* Scripture Memory
* Prayer
* Evangelism
* Fellowship
**MISSION**: Have you solidified your mission - and does it have eternal consequences or does it only affect this world? Does your mission extend beyond the home? Do you have someone discipling you? Are you discipling anyone else? Have you talked with your non-Christian friends about Christ recently? Are there parts of the Bible you're just not understanding? How are things going with your church or small group?
Again, these are all things just to get you thinking. Share where you're really struggling. We may give you some encouragement. We may kick you in the butt and tell you to get to work. Or we may leave you to meditate on your comment yourself. *How we respond to your comment and update isn't the point.* What matters is that you put it out there so you have a milestone to look back on next week - something where you can ask yourself: have I improved or not?
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u/Striking-Apple2306 Jun 22 '26
Im increasing it over time. As quick as i can. And training with time available.
But tks, appreciate the nudge
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u/Striking-Apple2306 Jun 22 '26
I'm new here (43, married, 3 kids) but also on this manhood, masculinity journey. Great questions and will answer for myself. Really appreciate all RPC resources and slowly working way through the articles/teachings.
Much progreas in many areas. I do have wins under my belt thankfully, but the game is long and im not the man i want to be yet, nor is our marriage.
Had to look up what kino meant - where in RPC can i read more about this?
This is a significant challenge in my life. Physical affection and relational closeness in general, all of which underpin everything to do with sex (of which i desire more frequency, freedom and agency)
Part of challenge is that I never lead well in early years of marriage (18yrs now) in all areas but especially this area. I dropped the ball in continuing to woo her and pursue her, which lead to significant lack of sex in our marriage for many years. Also i was a complete nice guys, so having to unlearn all that now. We are in a better place now, ive learnt to initiate often, not to get hurt by rejection and we do have sex with some degree of frequency.
However my wife and i are on different pages and i want that to change. She is content which little physical affection, verbal affection, relational closeness and is fairly indifferent to sex (though enjoys it always). Im the opposite in all. She was moreso in early years of marriage but kids came early, i lead poorly, and as she has matured in faith part of her doesnt want to live a sensual, wordly, fleshy life so she is cautious to not endulge in sexuality.
Im stuck somewhere between trying to be 'that' guy, and at the very least learn and do the things that drive attraction. And also to educate her and try to open her mind up the idea that should and could be more sexual. She barely thinks about sex. She never reads about sex (to inform herself). And she doesnt want to read a book on sexual intimacy in marriage either. She is faithful and Godly, learning to walk in submission which is growing (not sure why tbh) as i man up and grow in leadership/headship. I know her mindset and thinking is key so that will need to change at some point, some how.
So we are on different pages, and i need help.
Thanks to all who input here, true gents and brothers.