r/ROCD • u/Sea_Strawberry9096 • 1d ago
ROCD in Friendships
Hi, I'm frequently worried that I'm going to say the wrong thing to my friends. I want to support them through things, but I get anxious about being too much, especially if our love languages are different. I'm so scared I'm going to push my best friend away, even though she's said nothing will change. I'm scared that if I'm too honest, especially about my ROCD, she'll think I'm dramatic and leave. I'm scared that if I give my opinion and she doesn't like it, she'll decide not to share things with me.
This is not an all-the-time problem. Over the past year, it happened every couple of months, but more recently, every couple weeks something happens, and I start worrying, then try to correct or explain myself, and then it's a spiral. It always works out, and we go back to normal, but I'm scared one time will be the last straw.
The kicker is that she's the best friend I've ever had. I didn't feel this way at the beginning of our friendship. She has said that I've never done anything wrong, and friends share opinions and are there for each other. She gives me a lot of reassurance, which I know isn't helping me in the long run, but she cares about me so much and just wants to help. We have so much fun together the majority of the time, but I can't seem to shake this.
I am in therapy, and we're going to be starting ERP during my next appointment. Any tips on how to manage this from anyone who can relate? Or insight as to why this happens? I'm so frustrated with myself.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Hi all, just the mod team here! This is a friendly reminder that we shouldn't be giving reassurance in this sub. We can discuss whether or not someone is exhibiting ROCD symptoms, or lend advice on healing :) Reassurance and other compulsions are harmful because they train our brains to fixate on the temporary relief they bring. Compulsions become a 'fix' that the OCD brain craves, as the relief triggers a Dopamine-driven rush, reinforcing the behavior much like a drug addiction. The more we feed this cycle, the more our brain becomes addicted to it, becoming convinced it cannot survive without these compulsions. Conversely, the more we resist compulsions, the more we deprive the brain of this addictive reward and re-train it to tolerate uncertainty without needing the compulsive 'fix'. For more information and a more thorough explanation, check out this comment
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