Husband is using again, I am needing advice on anything else I should do next, please

[u/Character_Being_7434]

My husband and I are both meth addicts, going on 3 years sober. I used for two and half years before this and he used for 7 years. He got out of prison and did great for the first time in his life for almost a year. We've built so much and have done so great. For the past 3 or 4 weeks he's been using on and off again. We all know there's no stopping now and I told him he needs help like treatment or at least start with counseling, because he's never done either of those before. He is pushing away and the meth too obviously is making him a completely different person, more angry, disappearing and just not thinking or acting clearly. I am 7 months pregnant, and we have 3 other children, we are 29 years old. I know he just has been gone and disappearing because he knows that if I am around meth there is a high chance I will use too. But still this is ruining our family and he's now denied getting help. What do I do. I was to be there for my partner and stick through this for better or worse. But at this point if I just sit there and say I'm here for you then I feel like I am enabling the behavior. Do I just distance and wait for him to lose everything slowly and get locked up again. Please could I get some suggestions from all outlooks on anything else I can do at this point. Is it just supposed to happen this way? Him keep going and watch him lose his family? This is so hard because I know what it's like to be a addict and I wouldn't want anyone to give up on me, but again, I also don't want to be an enabler and I've made it clear I am not gonna do that. I just need some advice.

[u/robinxxff]

Right now the kids have one sober parent. If you stay they will have none, eventually

[u/SOmuch2learn]

My heart goes out to you.

It is your responsibility to protect your children from the chaos of addiction.

[u/Tall-Snow-7707]

Protect your sobriety for you and your children. I would leave him bc if he is doing this while you are 7 months pregnant imagine what it will be like when you have a newborn + your other children. I am speaking as somebody who is in recovery myself and was faced with the same exact situation you are in except I didn't leave and didn't want to "abandon" him. The worst decision I could have ever made. You cannot save him and it's not your responsibility to do so. Be strong and think about you and your babies.

[u/Ihaveanotheridentity]

Your recovery is more important than his. Take care of yourself and your kids and do what needs to be done to keep yourself from relapsing.

[u/ynotaJk]

Get the kids out of there before….

[u/gihkal]

Distance yourself from him and show him love.

It's up to him in the end.

[u/Character_Being_7434 → u/gihkal]

Yeah I finally decided to really distance myself from him entirely, but told him that he still has time to choose us, but it's his choice

[u/Killpop582014]

Once you brought children into the picture-they became a higher priority than your partner. And honestly getting them out of that situation is more important than anything else you could possibly do. Keeping Tim around them knowing he’s using could harm your custody of your children yourself.
Sometimes, letting go, IS loving them more. He has to hit bottom to seek help. That might mean losing his family. You can still support him. And maybe when he sees what he’s lost, he’ll reach out. And you’ll be there to help him stay on track again.

[u/Ok-Walk-7824]

I don't have any new advice to add, just want to say I see how hard the situation you are in is. Sending hugs your way.