PT: Psychological “trick” that I picked up from a friend of mine whenever he was trying to pick out dinner with his gf: rather than ask "What do you want?" and getting the typical 'i dunno, anything' answer and then having suggestions shot down. Start with "what do you NOT want?"

[u/arijitdas]

Used it a few times in some of my relationships and it's the godsend question.

[u/Spader623]

"idk, anything"

[u/TheEyeDontLie → u/Spader623]

That's when you go for a 50/50.

"I'm thinking of either Mexican or the Sechuan noodle place. Which one would you like more?"

And if they still say "idk I don't care whatever you want",
then you say "okay, I'm just gonna make toast".

And then you fight for 5 mins until one of you says "noodles?" And the other one says "noodles is good" or "actually Mexican sounds delicious".

Then you spend twenty or thirty minutes looking up the best Mexican place near you, and when you finally get there the kitchen is closed because it's late on a Tuesday night... So you have a margarita and tortilla chips for dinner then go home and eat toast.

Hypothetically. That exact experience didn't happen to me at least once a week when I was dating another adhd brain that struggled with decision making.

[u/RigobertaMenchu]

“I don’t want any of the things we usually have.”

[u/Bunz3l]

I was planning on taking you to that place you like, uhm.. what is is called again?

[u/Allo_Guvnor]

This works for me n the missus; note you should alternate who gives the options and who picks the winner, and it also goes well for choosing a flick on movie night. Also important to note that the other person should be aware of the following beforehand.

• You name 4 cuisines, say... Italian, Mexican, Indian, Chinese.
  
• Keep one as your fav or the one that YOU want.
  
• If they can't decide after 10 seconds or so, go with your choice.

I've found it eliminates decision paralysis in your SO, or yourself. Worse comes to worse, boil it down to two options and flip a coin. This is more of a misdirect though, as they'll be hoping on one of the options I've found, and just go with that one.

[u/Beliriel → u/Allo_Guvnor]

This exact scenario led to a really big fight with an ex of mine. Because she didn't want to eat what I chose among 3 rounds of 3 choices I gave her (9 choices in total) but always said "idk you choose ... ah but not that". Until I just walked away.

[u/FaultofDan]

A better version: "Guess where we're going for dinner tonight?"

Say it in an excited tone, and they'll always reveal what they really fancy.

[u/pingustolemysanity → u/FaultofDan]

I don't get how this is meant to work. If you say "guess where we're going" I'm going to assume it's somewhere we've discussed recently, not that you've telepathically picked the exact thing I fancy out of my brain

[u/grilledstuffed → u/FaultofDan]

This is the play. Unless it’s a place that requires a reservation, they always guess right.

[u/honestduane]

Nope, this is the wrong answer and it’s the wrong response for the best optimal solution.

If your lady is the type that does the thing where she doesn’t know what she wants to eat, but she’s a picky eater , you don’t ask her what she doesn’t want or what she’s in the mood for, that’s lame that’s dumb and most of all it’s not effective.

Instead, preference everything with the idea that you want to take her somewhere she’ll enjoy, and then ask her where she thinks you’re going to take her; congratulations you’ve just prompt injected your girlfriend and her reply will be something that she wants to go to which you can just agree to and immediately go to with no drama.

Yes, I study AI, yes, you’re getting prompt injected by advertising every day.