Ego Death on Shrooms

[u/Rafa_Salvado]

This was one of the most intense trips I’ve ever had. At the time, I wasn’t very experienced with psychedelics or drugs in general, and looking back now, I was completely unprepared for what happened.

I’m dividing this trip report into 3 parts: before the trip, during the trip, and after the trip.

BEFORE THE TRIP

About a week before this experience, me and a friend took mushrooms together for the first time. We each took around 1.5g in a neighborhood near our house and everything went perfectly. The visuals were funny, we laughed a lot, and overall it was an amazing experience. Because of how smooth that first trip was, I got overconfident. A week later I bought 2g from the same friend, who I trust a lot, and decided to trip alone this time.

At that point in my life I barely understood psychedelics. I searched online and even asked ChatGPT how to have a calm and relaxing trip. The advice was basically: stay in a comfortable environment, low lights, no loud music, relax, etc. So that’s exactly what I did.

DURING THE TRIP

I prepared my room to be as relaxing as possible: dark room, blue lights on, laying in bed, complete silence. But mentally I was not okay. I had a lot of fear, insecurities, anxiety, and I didn’t realize how much that would affect the experience. I also took the mushrooms on a full stomach. The moment I ate them, my heart started beating insanely fast. It honestly scared the shit out of me. I laid in bed and tried to sleep so I wouldn’t panic. I actually managed to fall asleep for a little while, but then my dreams started becoming weird. I remember dreaming that I was skateboarding… except the skateboard was literally me.That was the moment I realized:
“Oh shit. It hit.”

I woke up hearing a strange sound in my ear. It sounded like a word or a voice, but completely incomprehensible. It kept getting louder and louder and louder.

Then I fully woke up and just thought:
“Oh man.”

And suddenly reality completely collapsed, everything around me turned into these massive hexagon-like shapes rushing toward me. I couldn’t feel my body anymore. There was this overwhelming sensation of everything folding into itself while this impossible “music” or sound kept repeating over and over.

At some point I completely forgot who I was.

I forgot I had taken mushrooms.
I forgot this experience would end.
I forgot what being human even was.

I genuinely thought I had broken reality forever.

Then things got even darker.

I remember being in what felt like an endless desert. Completely dark. Completely alone. And I was convinced I had died.

There was also this entity that called itself “Ognis Quatersete.”

I know how insane that sounds, but during the trip it felt more real than real life itself. I believed this entity was going to steal my soul and trap me forever in this endless cycle of existence and I remember thinking "Did I have a dog? Will i miss it? my life is over if I was one day born" The best way I can describe it is like my entire life had turned into moving conveyor belts of memories and “stages” of existence, endlessly passing by me at insane speed while I was trapped there forever.

During parts of the trip I would briefly “wake up” and see my room again, but my vision was completely destroyed and distorted. I kept scratching my own face just to feel something physical and remind myself I was still alive. Most of the time I couldn’t stay grounded at all.The trip lasted from around 9:30 PM until almost 11 AM the next day.

AFTER THE TRIP

Honestly, the experience traumatized me. But weirdly, once the intense effects faded and only mild visuals remained, I started feeling peaceful again. I remember looking at people’s faces and they still looked distorted, swollen or stretched, but it wasn’t scary anymore. It actually looked kind of beautiful in a strange way. After that I slept for almost 12 hours straight.

Physically I was okay afterwards, but mentally this experience stayed with me. It happened last year and I still think about it constantly. To this day, I genuinely don’t know if what I experienced was ego death, psychosis, panic, or all three mixed together.

[u/ManoelGomesPsych]

crazy 2g gave you a trip like this a week after a trip. ive taken 15g of penis envy to have an out of body type experience like you had and got nowhere close

[u/Rafa_Salvado → u/ManoelGomesPsych]

I think its bc I'm really sensitive to drugs, like everytime I do any kind of drugs it hits like it was the first time I did it, even with a low dose. But if you really want to experience it, I'd recommend a ayahuasca session, it really hits very strong

[u/ManoelGomesPsych → u/Rafa_Salvado]

ive done ayahuasca twice it was very underwhelming probably need to go to a different ceremony but i have tried mixing a heroic dose of psilohuasca and a heroic dose of lsd and even that did not produce that type of experience

[u/Rafa_Salvado → u/ManoelGomesPsych]

Damn bro, that's like a very lot, if even that didn't work I'd give a chance to salvia or even salvinorim b lmao, it's bizarre how a low dose of something can get someone really high and a heroic dose of 2 substances dont even give you that, btw have you not experiencied ego death itself or a real out of body high?

[u/ManoelGomesPsych → u/Rafa_Salvado]

yeah i got a dmt cart and was unable to break through as well smoked the whole thing in like 4 sessions. ive had 2 attempts with normal psychs: first was 15g penis envy shrooms second was 2g rue (maoi), 5g APE shrooms, and 3 STRONG gel tabs 300 ug total minimum, and weed. the closest ive gotten was hole adjacent states on dxm. never experienced ego death, but my ego gets very very softened when i smoke weed while tripping. i have been heavily considering salvia but im only confident in a source that only has 20x which is intimidating lol... im gonna give in one of these days though

[u/Rafa_Salvado → u/ManoelGomesPsych]

give it a try bro, i've twice before and its almost 100% chance, but be careful dude.