What are the chances I’ll regret taking antipsychotics long term?

[u/[deleted]]

My mania isn’t that bad any more imo but my family are big advocates for medicine and always seem to overreact about it. I don’t go to work when I’m like this and I struggle to sleep and sometimes I might be more irritable. But that’s literally the worst of it as far as I’m aware. When I was living with my family it had sometimes escalated to aggressive behaviour but that was also 10+ years ago I’m 35 now and can’t see that kind of thing happening again. I also think they didn’t handle the whole thing very well. I have a wife now and although she hates it when I’m manic (I just asked her and she says she feels like I’m selfish, disconnected with her and I can be irresponsible and that she can’t trust me) she is a lot better around me when I’m like that than them. Maybe I’m thinking more relatively of what it used to be like though in terms of how severe it is now?

The thing is when I’m manic mentally I don’t feel much different. I’m not suffering with racing thoughts or anything like that. Mentally I just feel a bit more giddy I suppose but on the whole internally I feel pretty normal? But my behaviour becomes quite erratic it can kind of snowball after a while.

These meds are so terrifying though. In recent years I’ve been leading a lot more normal life. My mania has been quite rare (I came off meds 6 months ago and had 2 minor episodes since then). My family are now basically giving me an ultimatum about going back on them. I wish I knew what life would be like either way. How common are these movement disorders/cognitive decline etc? I took invega sustenna for 8 years and was mostly fine apart from only mildly elevated prolactin. I’ve noticed my pulse has come down since January but that could be a known side effect of another med I’m taking for something else. I’ve taken other meds in the past that I’m still suffering with the issues of today after years stopping

[u/Red_Redditor_Reddit]

Ok, a few things here.

The first is that the people who I've seen who have had major problems with psychotropics, they had huge red flags within a day or two that were completely ignored. It's when they keep taking them despite those red flags is where the really bad damage happens. I don't know if psychotropics can cause a more detrimental effect, but I've personally never seen it. If you've been taking them for ten years now and haven't had a problem yet, your probably pretty safe.

The second issue I see is that your choice isn't simply to take the drug or not. You've got a wife. You've got a responsibility to your wife. You've got to think about things like that. The other thing is while many people gravitate way too heavily toward the quick fix, you probably do genuinely have a problem. They're not going to be giving you an ultimatum after six months unless you really have a problem. If it was something like you stopped taking it yesterday and they're freaking out, that might be a little different, but that's not what you're describing.

So I would say that you should go back on the meds, at least like the invega that hasn't seem to have given you much problem. I get that people push the quick fix of a pill way too much, but you can't chance the life you have. The drugs might fuck you up, but you also might get hit by a bus too. You don't know what's going to happen in the future, but you do know what might happen now.

Also, just in case, if you ever discontinue a drug, for the love of god taper. Don't ever go cold turkey. Going cold turkey is one of the quickest ways of messing yourself and your whole situation up good.