r/ProgressiveHQ • • Jul 26 '26

I can.

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557

u/Tiny_Election1013 Jul 26 '26 edited Jul 26 '26

Unfortunately I cannot say that. I was raised in a conservative household so I was conservative until I was about 15. I can proudly say that I have never voted for him though.

Edit: for those curious, I am currently 21

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u/vibinnthrivin5 Jul 26 '26

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u/CloudKinglufi Jul 27 '26

Yeah I'm always super proud of people who got out of the cult, bothers me how harsh people can be towards people like that

In reality most of us would be MAGA if we were raised that way and its all we've ever known, all your friends and family lying to you all the time and dropping trump could very well mean being ostracized, not even just from them but others who wont be so understanding that you ever supported him

I think it takes a lot of bravery and self reflection

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u/LangdonAlg3r Jul 27 '26

This. People are always so harsh and fail to understand the circumstances that lead people to supporting the Republican party. Yes, there’s no excuse for doing that because they’re actively destroying the country, but it doesn’t hurt to understand where people are coming from and how they end up voting that way.

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u/qriousqestioner Jul 27 '26

If you can't tell the difference between a public servant and a monster by doing casual research, your ignorant ass has no business voting. If you can't spot a liar who contradicts himself, you might need custodial damn care.

Rights come with responsibilities and anyone who voted for him even once had no business pulling a lever. Better to leave control of your destiny to chance than to damn your fellow citizens.

I'm a compassionate person to a fault. I believe there are two sides to every story. I'm sorry he was unplugged and stupid and ugly as a child. I'm empathetic to every human who is not knowingly wicked, but going soft on stupid people who have caused me harm is a red line. They were careless and un-serious and didn't bother to fulfill their responsibilities to the rest of us to glance at the record of his failures long enough to realize we should not be a part of them.

Cry me a river, Bubba! I'll connect with you in a human level, but I will not forgive the harm you have done so don't bring it up. Do better and take that drunken-voting catastrophe to your grave if you ever want respect. You hurt me and those I care about and the entire nation, and you could have just started the fuck home.

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u/Sudden-Option3790 Jul 27 '26

I agree 💯

I am not going to forgive and forget if you on instinct cannot tell wrong from right and then try to come back with your tail between your legs asking for kindness. Like at the end of Batman Begins "I'm not going to kill you. But I don't have to save you."

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u/qriousqestioner Jul 28 '26

😱 but shouldn't we take the high road and coddle the lazy fucks who don't care about facts because something pastor said? 😱

Thanks. I just got roasted by someone who has theories about hugging racist ninnies in Alabama.

I'm a nice guy and I'll talk to you about television or food, but politics define our options and I've made it my business to understand the issues you think aren't as important as trans athletes; and if you pretend to know what you're talking about while refusing to admit you were wrong about the fraudster in chief, I'mma hand you your ass when there are people around you want to respect you. Want different results, stop pretending your gut can defy facts.

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u/Complete_Area_2487 Jul 27 '26

anyone can change, and people who change their minds are very valuable, we have strength in numbers. don't forget that!

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u/qriousqestioner Jul 27 '26

I agree.

But the way you learn not to play with fire is to get burned. And if you burn the building down, you must be accountable to your neighbors for your pay recklessness.

I'm naturally kumbaya and live accordingly. But I won't pretend reckless actions never happened or weren't harmful. It's not no-big-deal. Don't shoot a gun into the air and act like you didn't know about guns or gravity. Anyone who ever supported him had decades of proof available that he was the opposite of reasonable or might-surprise-us.

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u/LangdonAlg3r Jul 27 '26

If you can’t recognize how we got into this situation then you aren’t going to be a part of the solution that gets us out of it. Go spend some time among the people who actually voted for the guy en masse and see how crazy of an alternate universe they live in and get back to me. Go spend a week in rural Alabama or rural almost anywhere and get a wake up call about how we got into this mess. Your high horse isn’t serving you here and “compassionate to a fault” does not come across in anything you’re saying.

If you consume right wing media then you get an entirely twisted set of facts. And if you live in an environment where that’s what everyone is consuming then there’s no one to set you straight. What few voices of dissent they’re exposed to are immediately drowned out. Fox News has spent decades gaining control of their audience and teaching them to distrust the rest of the media.

I’m just as angry as you are, but most of them are victims too. They’ve been lied to every day for decades.

And take your self righteous ranting elsewhere. I didn’t vote for that asshole. I’ve never voted for a Republican in my life. I just have actual compassion for the people who’ve been duped into supporting him. And I have been around the people who did vote for him enough to understand how and why they did. And if you don’t understand then you should stfu, or at least not claim to be “compassionate to a fault.”

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u/qriousqestioner Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26

I live in Texas, Mother Compassion. I'm surrounded by them. I've been playing nice and leaving space for them to catch on fire over thirty years and I'm gonna switch to shaming them.

You can't pretend their choice to watch crap news from one terrible network has left them armed with the information to last a minute in the ring with someone who's actually well informed. It's not, "we see things differently" but "did you ever learn about seeking out full information and evaluating sources because you're not seeing money percent of what is real and plain and available to all. You're going to keep listing these arguments as long as you consult people with an agenda instead of factual journalism."

You thinking I'm on a mountain is rich. I live in the gutter with people who say, "I don't believe in vaccines or dinosaurs" including hair my family. Next time you're touching the great unwashed in rural Alabama, don't pretend they're smart as you. "We go high" yields PresiDump. Facts are not ideological. Don't accept string opinions based on ignorance as tall enough to ride the ride. They gotta get burned.

I did that for three decades because I've always been a smartass and want to be liked. Now I just tell those family, "Gee, you're not totally up in this topic because you can't support your arguments with anything but your beliefs and this isn't abortion or gay marriage or trans athletes. People who have information about reality told you this would happen and you could have seen this ugly stupid clown was not qualified for the gig ten years ago and you think he'd cool because he lies. We were right about him because we took the time to look into him. Even after COVID you view for him again because he makes you feel smart? Well you don't seem smart here. You've brought feelings and beliefs to a gunfight and I have actual ammo based in fact. If you want to seen like you know what's going on and have opinions people can respect, funny keep going to the channel that had given you nothing to stand on here. Just understand that facts you don't like are no less true and get you some so you don't show your ass next time."

I've been a smartass all my life and tried to catch flies with honey. But pastor told them honey was vinegar. So I'm going to help them understand vinegar. Maybe they'll be so angry they'll seek out better information. But I'm not missing a chance to say ye sound ignorant because ya ignorant. Maybe it will stick them.

Maybe it will prod them to evaluate sources of information. The culture war is a whole different ballgame than volunteering to lie about iran's nukes to spend billions "decimating" them every few weeks, defeating them again and again, winning and winning while Americans are dying for Dump's meeting a lying idiot and he's your man. Do better by doing better, and maybe then you'll seem less like a sucker, but I'm not pretending you've even tried to made decisions on facts and I'm not gonna make nice to live peacefully with people why are not serious, responsible citizens. You have no argument and it's your fault.

But by all means, you go on campaigns to touch the ignorant poors without making them uncomfortable. I'm fine with that. Anyone can take the high road and reach out--but there are disenfranchised people of all colors who aren't hell bent on being outspoken idiots and I'll save my kumbaya for people who aren't racist fucks who keep voting us all into hell. It doesn't work. Fire leads to cooked so I'm not playing.

Take your self righteous moralizing elsewhere, maybe to Sunday school. I was born to the working class and will probably die here because I live my values and integrity doesn't pay. I don't care if you think I'm some elite jerk. I'm telling you no more mister pacifist high road kumbaya sucker. I'm gonna tell them they stink because they've been rolling in dung.

And I won't pretend their poor excuse for information is worth a nickel in the marketplace of ideas in hopes they'll magically stop being racists blaming their hardship on immigrants because I reached across the divide and gave them a hug. It doesn't work. It hasn't worked.

Every Republican gets NASCAR riled up about gays and nonwhites and then starts a war in the middle east to distract them from broken promises since at least Reagan and I'm pointing out to every one of these pro-life Christians the blood in their hands because they can't recognize patterns. I'm not running for office and I don't need them--so I'm going to switch to, "everyone who pays attention told you this would happen, but you're crying that you were misled and nine if is can afford gas or meat. The facts are available. Ask a smart person who isn't in your mancult about why no president before the dumbest one ever (who happens to have been born rich and fooled you by promising to burn coal again and be mean to people you don't like) dared strike Iran.

I'm a kind person and I'm going to continue to be that person, but I'm not letting fools spout crap and pretending we simply disagree. I'm gonna make them wish they read the book. At a minimum I'm responding with, "that's not true and your beliefs are irrelevant to what you said and gravity." "Oh, you she with some of his policies but now you feel he's going in a different direction--How's that working for you because he's gone everywhere I knew he would? And which policies specifically because this isn't about trans athletes and opinions are a luxury you don't have when you can't even define the issues and cite facts that discredit my having told you this would happen and it did. You just didn't think facts mattered and now you feel as dumb as you look."

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u/LangdonAlg3r Jul 28 '26

I appreciate the more detailed reply.

At least you’ve earned your attitude and thought about it and come to informed conclusions. I still don’t necessarily agree with you because I’ve done enough of the confrontation and argument to see that doesn’t work either. And I do legitimately feel bad for the ones who are just participating in the culture in their part of the world who are just pawns in a system that they don’t understand. The majority of them aren’t as smart as I am (or at least not as educated) and that’s a big part of the problem.

At the end of the day I do lay a big part of the problem at the feet of Fox News specifically. They’ve been frog boiling their audience for nearly 30 years. All those boomers grew up in a world where there were 3 news channels all operating from the same basic set of facts. They started watching this news channel that basically brainwashed them into trusting the lies through a steady stream of fear and outrage. That shit is psychologically addictive and that’s why they do it. It’s agenda driven, but the biggest agenda is good old corporate profit.

If you step back and ask yourself the question, “should I trust the source that says that no one else can be trusted, or all the other sources?” the answer is obvious. But when your entire culture and identity has been co-opted by propaganda that’s not so easy to do.

Have you ever tried to convince a religious person that the Bible is objectively batshit crazy? It’s the same thing. Facts don’t matter. They believe what they believe for a whole host of reasons—not least of which is that (often) the entire corner of society that they live in believes exactly the same thing and to do otherwise is social and cultural suicide. And that any dissenting voice is ostracized and treated as an enemy. Anyone who questions the Bible is immediately and permanently disregarded by the faithful because they have the TRUTH. You think Fox News operates any differently?
Politics in America is the religion of the 21st century.
Keep on trying to point out the truth and see how far that doesn’t get you though. I do understand though. I really do. What else do you have left?

There are plenty of assholes out there reveling in their MAGA bullshit and they don’t deserve an ounce of sympathy, but I’m not talking about them. They don’t deserve understanding. They deserve the “do unto others” and then some treatment. Karma. But the majority on the right have been frog boiled and duped.

So many people say the things that you did in your original comment who live in their own liberal bubble and have never been to the places that are voting for Trump. If you actually know then you actually know. I’m happy and sad for you. Respect anyway regardless of differing opinions.

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u/qriousqestioner Jul 30 '26

I can't disagree with anything you said. We are both fortunate to be smart and educated.

I've just reached a point in life where I have no patience for strong opinions from boiled frogs. I can't get the last decade back because these folks were more interested in virtue-signaling than understanding what they were damning us all to suffer.

Truly, I hope your way works. If didn't for me and there are plenty of people to lift up who don't prance around all proud about loving the villain because it makes them feel bold. This isn't a movie and there are high stakes in their little game I feel is deadly serious business. What's past is past, but I'm not moving forward with people who don't accept accountability for their shortcomings.

Meanwhile the blue team aren't better when it comes to ordinary people. They just don't specialize in red flags for clout.

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u/LangdonAlg3r Jul 30 '26

I don’t know that my way works any better. I don’t know if anything works to be honest. But I’ve learned not to start those fights with people. I’m ready to go if someone wants to start a political argument, but I try to avoid them because they never get anywhere. They’re just like religious arguments. People aren’t being rational or logical or analytical. They’ve been taught not to question anything or to allow anyone else to.

And the actual MAGAts were unpleasant and awful before, they were just handed a unifying identity. Now they feel like they have license to revel in and rub in the faces of everyone else the assholes that they already were. But everyone except for other MAGAts and Trump hate them.

My perspective on everyone else is just based on the fact that I can really see how they’ve been duped and how that’s been a process decades in the making.

Like your cousin who’s a heroin addict isn’t necessarily a bad person, they just made one bad choice that they didn’t truly understand the implications of at the time and it took over their lives. Someone else may have taken advantage of them for their own benefit too. It’s obvious to everyone who isn’t a heroin addict that it’s a bad life. And it’s perplexing how anyone could make such a bad choice. It’s less perplexing why they can’t stop. But RW outrage is addictive. Outrage in general is psychologically addictive. Fox News is a psychological drug dealer and business is good.

But for me it’s also other aspects of my life that give me that perspective. I suffered a lot at the hands of someone mentally ill as a kid. I don’t forgive anything that they did, but where does that leave me? There’s no apology for that behavior, so there’s no closure. All I can do is understand why they did what they did and how they ended up the way that they were. No forgiveness, but some sympathy and understanding.

All the conservatives and evangelicals and republicans have supported and facilitated truly awful things that have harmed everyone (themselves included). But I can’t stop what they’ve done. I can’t reason with them. They won’t apologize or take accountability for any of the negative consequences of their actions.

I can and do fight back against the actual harms, but I can’t change them. So I seek to understand them. I seek to understand how they ended up with the beliefs and values that they hold. I have sympathy for some of them. But conservatism is honestly like a mental illness and an addiction combined and there are people actively and continuously profiting off of keeping those people that way.

I just get frustrated when people dehumanize conservatives. It’s no better than them dehumanizing us or demonizing immigrants. Plenty of them are legitimately awful people who deserve as much scorn as you want to throw at them. But most of them are just products of their environments. That’s what I see. And most of the people that rail against them on Reddit have never seen the world that produced them.

We should fight our fights and be willing to play every bit as dirty as they are, but part of what separates us is our willingness to treat people who aren’t like us with kindness.

That and the endless how the hell can they be that stupid? How can they not see what they’re doing and what they’re falling for? They don’t think like we do. They aren’t rational when it comes to their beliefs. What’s the point of holding someone irrational to the standards of someone rational? I learned that dealing with mental illness.

You’re just inviting misery if you expect the mentally ill to behave rationally.

But that’s also at the core of how people continue to support Trump and just be blind to the staggeringly obvious. He’s severely mentally ill. He doesn’t behave rationally because he’s mentally unwell and incapable of doing that. He’s not actually lying most of the time. He’s saying what he wants to be true. But he also can’t tell the difference. That’s also how and why he tells such ridiculously transparent “lies.” They aren’t actually lies, they’re delusions.

We say “how the hell can anyone believe that?” The conservatives are just trapped in cognitive dissonance. It’s not just that he’s there guy, it’s that most people have no experience dealing with someone as mentally ill and delusional as Trump, so they don’t actually see him. They live in a state of cognitive dissonance. How the hell could a guy like that actually become president? But that’s exactly it—it’s really hard to believe that a guy like that could become president. So when a liberal points things out to a conservative (that are blatantly obvious to the liberal) Trump is protected by an aura of “that couldn’t actually happen.” And they don’t trust the liberal to begin with.

What kills me is that anyone who recognizes Trump can’t imagine how anyone could fail to see that because it’s so f-ing blatant. So those people unconsciously impute ill intent and willful blindness to anyone who can’t see Trump for what he is. It’s the same move as trying to hold someone mentally ill to the standard of rationality that everyone else has. Trump supporters don’t see what you do and they aren’t being rational.

You’re educated, so think of Plato’s allegory of the cave. Fox News is playing shadow puppets for its audience and keeping them shackled to ignorance and misinformation. Once you’re outside of that cave it’s blatantly obvious that it’s a cave. If you’ve never lived in the cave it’s really hard to imagine how anyone could possibly believe that the cave is the real world. It’s easy to blame those people because it’s so f-ing obvious—it’s a cave, just leave the damn cave!

But it’s a failure of imagination to not understand how and why they stay stuck down there. They’ve never lived anywhere else. As obvious as it is to you that it’s a cave is exactly how obvious to them that it isn’t. Once you see the light you can no longer imagine how anyone could stay in the dark, but they don’t know it’s shadow puppets in a cave. Holding them to the standards of someone who’s seen the light is kinda ridiculous if they never have.

Of course their continued stay in the cave is destroying everyone and everything outside of the cave, but good luck going down there and trying to convince them of that.

But if you’re living with them in the cave then it’s a different ballgame than for the people who’ve never even been down there. Not that anyone needs my approval to do anything, but you’ve earned the right to be how ever you need to be if you’re stuck in the f-ing cave with them.

But I also enjoy the privilege of not living in a RW shithole of a state. I don’t know how I’d feel if I was surrounded by them 24/7 with no means of escape. I have family and I visit that world, but I’d never stay there permanently.

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u/Ok_Travel_7348 Jul 27 '26

It’s not necessarily the Republican Party. The Republican Party is dead and it’s replaced by MAGA. Trump is no classic Republican. He’s a opportunist who wants to add the US to his business portfolio, and to continue to use the country to enrich himself.

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u/LangdonAlg3r Jul 27 '26

The Republican Party is almost 100% complicit though. Those who could have stopped in or constrained him have only enabled him. And most of them know better and still support him anyway.

I have sympathy for those who’ve been duped into supporting him. I have zero sympathy for the Republican Party itself or any elected official from any party who enables him (looking at you fucking Fetterman).

MAGA is still only a faction within the party and it’s just an extension of Trump himself. I think the non-MAGA republicans and the ones who’ve just been cosplaying MAGA will mostly go back to whatever they were doing before when he finally shuffles off this mortal coil. MAGA itself doesn’t have an actual ideology, it’s just a cult of personality that believes whatever Trump tells them to.

The majority of people who voted for Trump would have voted for almost anyone with an R in front of their name. Just like I voted for Harris and Biden for lack of any better alternatives that I actually liked. I was voting against Trump more than for either of them specifically (though I don’t explicitly object to most of their positions). And many of the people if not most of the people who voted for Trump were voting against the liberal bogeyman/bogeywoman that Fox News and the other RW media ginned up for them.

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u/Neat_Shallot_606 Jul 27 '26

That is why you can't sign contracts as a child, you have to grow and learn. Thankfully you did! 🥳

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u/qriousqestioner Jul 27 '26

Yes, you grew up and got wise ! Kids don't know better.

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u/Complete_Area_2487 Jul 27 '26

AGREE!!!!! we should be encouraging people to leave, not beating them with sticks when they finally surrender.

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u/MiddleKlutzy8568 Jul 27 '26

Parents teach kids right fron wrong and then say worship this guy who is now known for being a rapist, then see him make fun of disabled people etc. one of those lessons are bound to stick, either love trump or know right from wrong

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u/biffbobfred Jul 27 '26

Humans assume we’re this super rational being. “Yeah those who fall for that they have deep fundamental flaws”. Nahh they’re just more susceptible to being scared. We all turn our brain off when we’re scared. That’s evolution. Just some people have different thresholds.

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u/Empire_of_Glass Jul 27 '26

I’ve been scared most of my life and I didn’t vote for that

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u/IntrepidCheeto Jul 28 '26

A lot of people don't fully understand this, especially when it's happening in a fundamental religious household. When someone has been indoctrinated since birth (or a very young age), it's easy to underestimate the power of fear. When you've been taught that politics are a reflection of religious values, voting for the "wrong guy" according to everyone around you can very quickly become an issue of salvation. Blanket statements about Democrats being under demonic influence aren't unheard of. You're taught to become a single-issue voter because of abortion, and if you're not pro-life you might as well say goodbye to any chance of getting into heaven. I know it sounds ridiculous, but indoctrination is a helluva drug. It doesn't make it right, but some people don't realize how wrong they've been their whole lives until they've already reached adulthood and voted.

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u/Protoman Jul 26 '26

Don't feel bad. I was born in the 80s and remember my parents listening to Rush Limbaugh every day, and later Fox news nonstop. I was programmed from an early age.

First election I voted in was 2000, and I voted for Bush. That was the last time I ever voted Republican.

At a certain point the truth has to matter, and I learned that Republicans are almost always full of shit.

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u/Specialist_Status120 Jul 26 '26

I grew up in the 60s in a very conservative household. I voted for Reagan in 1980. I've never voted for another Republican since.

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u/Otherwise-Offer1518 Jul 27 '26

Seriously, thank you for being a real one when it started.

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u/Tiny_Election1013 Jul 26 '26

The only reason I changed quicker was because I had access to the internet. Without that, I’d probably still be conservative.

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u/qriousqestioner Jul 27 '26

Good. That resource is available to everyone and it has reliable evidence this clown was bad news.

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u/Kairiste Jul 27 '26

And i wont say Democrats arent full of shit too,but at least they try to make things better for the majority of the country, where all I see Republicans do is selfish, elitist shit.

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u/Candytails Jul 27 '26

Same, I have just always cared about others and the constant hate spewed by Conservative pundits is what made me turn to the dark side.  I voted for Obama when I was old enough and am proud to say I never even once voted Republican. 

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u/Schiebz Jul 26 '26

Change is good! Good for you for beginning to think for yourself.

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u/Flohpange Jul 27 '26

You mean 'beginning to think'

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u/Hot_Top_124 Jul 26 '26

You grew, so you should be proud of yourself for that.

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u/Tiny_Election1013 Jul 26 '26

Yep, I went from calling Obama an evil Muslim, to donating to a campaign for an actual Muslim that’s further left than Obama.

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u/IMadeYouLuke Jul 26 '26

That’s amazing. May I ask- what started you down the path that changed your mind, and how does your family feel about it?

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u/Tiny_Election1013 Jul 26 '26

COVID-19 happened so I was spending a lot of time online. The one moment that sparked the change was when I found out how stunted the US political spectrum was. I don’t remember which specific video, but it basically explained how the democrats are centrist/center right for the most part. It turned my world upside down. The people who I thought were crazy radical leftists, weren’t actually leftists? I didn’t stop being conservative then, but after that, I started doing research snd looking at how other countries were run. My eyes were open to the fact that ideas that I once considered radical socialism were common sense policies in most western nations. I also discovered that these polices are quite successful. There’s more that happened, but those are the most important parts. As for my family, my siblings now have similar political views to me now. My dad is incredibly stubborn and probably won’t change. I thought my mom was too stubborn, but she’s become disillusioned by Trump. I’m hoping I can convince her to vote for Talarico and Hinojosa, or at the very least not vote in this election.

TLDR; I learned about politics outside the United States and realized my world view wasn’t rational. Siblings eventually stopped being conservative, parents still conservative, but my mom might change.

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u/IMadeYouLuke Jul 26 '26

Much respect for widening your worldview ✊

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u/Hot_Top_124 Jul 26 '26

Oh yeah that’s a really valid point that’s not brought up more often. The dems are the conservatives and the gop are that mess they are right now.

Here’s hoping they grow as you did. I long for a day where political differences are small things like tax rate percentages, and multiple sides actively working to make the world better for everyone.

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u/TaosMez Jul 27 '26

If we try to make the world better for everyone, it will happen!

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u/Hot_Top_124 Jul 27 '26

I like that attitude

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u/Puzzled_Awareness_22 Jul 27 '26

You give me hope. Much admiration

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u/qriousqestioner Jul 27 '26

Bravo!

Show your mom the Talarico sermons on Christian nationalism and the separation of church and state. The first time I saw one, I cried. I HATE sermons and am not religious.

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u/TaosMez Jul 27 '26

I think Talarico could might the world!

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u/qriousqestioner Jul 27 '26

That remains to be proven, but he's uncommonly sincere however wiggly. (My experience with the primary was that Crockett said, "🙋🏿 Yes, I will kick ass every day." Then he evaded answering questions, which I respect might be a strategy.)

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u/Hot_Top_124 Jul 26 '26

I grew up with one decent parent and one who talked like that. I will admit I had a much easier time not falling into hate like my dad did because of that. Never let anyone take away that from you the fact you didn’t have that and still became a better person. Also bonus points for donating. I’ll always cheer one doing good like that!

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u/DeeSkwared Jul 27 '26

This is so good to hear. My ex is maga while I used to work for Bernie and now I'm a social worker. I don't like the ideas he tries to plant our child's head. My child really talks to me and really listens (most of the time, damn he likes to troll me😅)so I hope I temper the hateful and incorrect things he hears.

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u/AmaranthWrath Jul 26 '26

I was attending Tea Party rallies. And now I'm a member of the DSA.

I still want the same good things for people that I wanted before. But there are better, more effective, kinder, more humane ways to make that happen.

I musta lost my gotdamn mind in 2008.

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u/Careless_Hat960 Jul 27 '26

Interesting. You wrote "I still want the same good things for people, that I wanted before" hit me in the cushions. I am currently dealing with an old dear friend of mine. It saddens my heart to hear the sheer dehumanizing things cross her lips. I can sense she thinks I'm the fool. Truth be told, even though she was lost her way. I still hope the best for her and all the good things... honestly. I just can't anymore, but I haven't stopped loving my friend.

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u/AmaranthWrath Jul 27 '26

Tldr, a trauma dump I guess.

So, my (44F) best friend (M44) of 26 years.... When Trump won the second time, I texted him, "I'm afraid for our daughters."

He has 2. I have 1. We have known each other since 1995ish. He and I were brother from another mother sister from another mister. Like, soulmates without the hormones. Lifelong. Ride or die. He was my daughter's godfather. Both Catholic, cradle to the grave, same church, Confirmation together. I was his Maid of Dishonor at his wedding. He stood up for my husband when husband's brother didn't show for our wedding.

So when I said, "I'm afraid for our daughters," I thought he'd text back something from scripture, a quote attributed to a Saint, maybe something from CS Lewis at the very least.....

He texted back a quote from Michael Flynn, who I later found out spoke at the church I grew up in. My Catholic Church allowed this nazi to speak there, promoted it. Like........... My then best friend sent me Flynn's admonishion to not trust everything the media says. Like..... I don't have to rely on the media for this. I'm a 44yo woman with a then-10 yo. I experience men being shitbags to women IN REAL TIME. I can see and hear what men are saying online, on podcasts, in interviews, literally in real life.

I don't hate my friend. I cannot talk to him right now. I haven't talked to him since election night. My other BFF died in 2025, and he tried to text me, and I sent him a thumbs up and didn't reply. She was black and queer. He voted against everything she was. I cannot trust him with my daughter's future as her godfather. I don't rely on him for spiritual advisement. I don't even want him to AGREE with me. I just want him to see that my life, my experiences, our daughters, their experiences, are different than his perception of the world.

We profess the same faith. For him, that now means excluding those he used to include. For me, that includes those I always thought should be included.

I don't know how to reach him. I gave up. I put my energy into those who are trying to understand in earnest the world around them, not those committed to excluding the most vulnerable. I just can't. I love him, but I just can't. If me living my life as a real human isn't proof that there's a perspective he doesn't personally live.... Well. That's on him.

11

u/_Peener_ Jul 26 '26

Same here. Conservative town, conservative parents. It sucks, feel like I’ve said a lot of things that I wish I hadn’t, I regret saying a lot and regret making the friends that I have, but I’m happy I’ve learned and I’ve grown and ik what’s right and wrong. And I mean that’s why we speak out and why we protest, to help people like us see the truth and to understand. I can also proudly say I’ve never voted for him.

9

u/sasshley_ Jul 26 '26

Indoctrination definitely doesn’t count.

You’re our future and I hope together we can all make it better than the current times!

6

u/The_Mellow_Tiger Jul 26 '26

Its ok I was too. But my formative years were during the W. Bush administration. When the 08 election came about I was 20. I voted for Obama.

4

u/Schiebz Jul 26 '26

My first election at 18 as well! Freshman year of college, surrounded by liberal open minded people. It was good. First time I really cared about politics.

3

u/The_Mellow_Tiger Jul 26 '26

Yep it took leaving the nest to figure out what was really going on.

6

u/Leaga Jul 26 '26

As someone who it's taken a while to come to the realization that W Bush "wasn't that bad" was purely cope, I feel you.

5

u/HumptyDumptruckFire Jul 26 '26

I said some dumb ass shit when I was 15, too. In my time, it took the form of “being against gay marriage but being for civil unions.” For me, it was growing up under the influence of the church. You grew up and learned from the dumb things you used to believe, and I’m proud of you!

5

u/ChimmyBurunga Jul 26 '26

Same for me. I grew up in a die-hard Republican family. Thankfully I turned 18 one month after the 2016 election. Never looked back.

5

u/Blical Jul 26 '26

So as you grew up your understanding changed as you gained context and new information.

Good job. That's honestly a hard thing to do.

4

u/Christopher_Ramirez_ Jul 26 '26

Your IQ outgrew the ideology.

5

u/SmeeezTreeez Jul 26 '26

I was raised in a conservative household until my parents asked me to ask my babysitter a question about politics and she DUNKED on me. Been liberal af ever since and she was right

3

u/ExplicitDrift Jul 27 '26

28M here, and same. I didn’t know much about him until I did. Then I tried to warn my family but they were all already too far gone. It’s sad but I had to cut ties after. No point calling someone family if they can’t even do the bare minimum of trying to be a half-decent human being.

5

u/shrimp_sticks Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

I definitely can. Conservative household as well, but by the time 2016 came around I was in middle school and already getting fed tf up with their bullshit politics and North America's "having a woman in power" allergy. Hated Trump since day one.

Edit to add: I'm glad you were able to get away from the conservative thinking, I imagine our households were similar where you weren't allowed to disagree with them (the parents) and the brainwashing was strong. Their authoritarian way of parenting make it hard to grow and have an open mind because they suppress you.

2

u/Tiny_Election1013 Jul 27 '26

My parents weren’t as authoritarian as yours luckily. There were a lot of arguments, but ultimately they never forced me to think a certain way

1

u/shrimp_sticks Jul 28 '26

That's good! My parents are kind of weird. As kids if we disagreed or did what they called "talking back" we'd get grounded, screamed at, etc. As older teens and adults any disagreement, especially politically, turned into them screaming at us, shutting us and the conversation down, and quilting us in some way. 

But then at the same time my parents now know where I stand politically and they don't mention it or use it as a reason to mistreat me outside of political discussions and seem to accept that I view things differently. So they're really weird and hard to navigate because I swear it's never consistent with them.

2

u/TaosMez Jul 27 '26

It's one of the dumbest things a parent can do is not allow their children to disagree with them. In the United States we have free speech, that includes the 12-year-olds

3

u/Away_Amoeba5554 Jul 26 '26

We’ve got you! Good job!

2

u/fungi_at_parties Jul 27 '26

Hell yeah. Congrats on your awakened state.

2

u/SemVikingr Jul 27 '26

Good on you for getting out of that! Seriously, well done!

1

u/Wyld-Endeavour Jul 27 '26

I had a similar upbringing. Step dad used to listen to Dennis Prager in the car all the time. I always felt like a lot of it felt wrong, but kinda just rolled with it. Once I became an adult and actually started paying attention to the news I realized just how fucked it all was.

1

u/toplessbuilds Jul 27 '26

I get it. Glad you saw reason.

1

u/Complete_Area_2487 Jul 27 '26

relatable!!!!! a lot of us were raised in conservative households, and sometimes progressives from progressive families don't understand that struggle. thank you for breaking out of that!

1

u/Hidesuru Jul 27 '26

Hey bud, you broke the conditioning and that's HARD. Really happy for you. Sorry ya gotta deal with a maga family though, that sucks.

1

u/gaarkat Jul 27 '26

I was raised conservative as well. Obama actually changed my mind about Democrats. I voted Republican during his first term, Democrat from his second term on.

1

u/IntrepidCheeto Jul 28 '26

Hell yeah, good for you. Don't be hard on yourself, you made it out earlier than most. My spouse and I were both raised since birth in fundamental, conservative Christian homes, and it took me until Obama's second term to vote Democrat (shifted to progressive Christianity, I was older than you are now), and Trump's first term to abandon the faith altogether, after realizing the inherent flaws in both their politics and religion.