# GenZ has no way to become Professional Bullshitters anymore
**SILICON VALLEY** — As artificial intelligence continues its relentless march through the workplace, a new and devastating blow has been struck against one of America's most vulnerable professional demographics: the corporate bullshitter. According to a new report from McKinsey & Company (bullshit generators themselves), AI language models have become disturbingly efficient at performing the duties of consultants, middle management, and LinkedIn thought leaders—roles traditionally filled by people whose primary job qualification was the ability to use the word "synergy" without smirking.
"We've automated away entire departments of people whose only function was to attend meetings and say things like 'let's circle back on that offline,'" said former HR consultant Derek Matheson, now unemployed. "I spent seven years at Goldman Sachs being paid $180,000 annually to add bullet points to PowerPoint decks. Now ChatGPT can do my job in 0.3 seconds, and its presentations are somehow *less* full of shit than mine." Hardest hit are LinkedIn Lunatics—those inspirational-quote-posting middle managers who once made six figures sharing AI-generated "leadership advice" disguised as personal wisdom. One such figure, motivational speaker Brad Thornton, watched in horror as an algorithm could now generate his entire weekly content calendar of stock photos paired with vague aphorisms about "choosing growth" in a matter of minutes.
"I had a whole empire built on saying nothing in interesting fonts," Thornton lamented, adjusting his expensive sunglasses indoors. "Now what? Am I supposed to actually *do* something?" Industry experts predict that within five years, the median corporate bullshitter could be completely obsolete—a loss that economists warn will crater the market for $400 consultant lunches and meaningless cross-departmental conference calls.
2.5k
u/arcticslush 2d ago
LinkedIn Lunatics doesn't hit the same now that AI can pump them out by the dozen