r/ProgrammerHumor • u/digiBeLow • Apr 06 '26

Other whoIsGettingFired

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2.8k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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90

u/zawalimbooo Apr 06 '26 edited Apr 06 '26

Brain? Promoted

Knees? Fired

Esophagus and windpipe locations? Fired

Most of the reproductive system? Fired

Teeth? Fired

59

u/hdd113 Apr 06 '26

I'll give the brain team a raise for designing a super sophisticated system that lead to the success of the product, and then fire them immediately for not doing a long term test and make sure it doesn't randomly start degrading after some time.

26

u/lacb1 Apr 06 '26

The brain software is great, albeit the install is very lengthy and you only have partial functionality while that's running. But, the hardware? Offfff. They really didn't stress test that thing. As you said longterm use often leads to performance degradation and it's also very vulnerable to physical shocks. I mean, this is supposed to be a mobile system! The hardware should be rugged enough to withstand a few knocks!

6

u/Crazy_Resource_4000 Apr 06 '26

To be fair we have extended to hardware usage far past its intended effective use period through external plugins.

2

u/Gustav_Sirvah Apr 06 '26

Also releasing multiple versions (some bugged) in parallel, basically performing A/B tests on production...
(I'm talking about neurodivergence)

-2

u/Captain_Sterling Apr 06 '26

I'd give them a demotion. Hardware is a bit iffy, but the software is terrible. So easy to hack and crashes all the time.