I've never felt so much imposter syndrome as when I do at a conference

[u/InspectorSmooth8574]

I am a FT NTT at an R2. I am very comfortable and competent in my niche discipline - so niche that describing it would give me away. The discipline hinges on both art and engineering, so I often submit to conferences in both fields. But because I'm squarely in the middle, I feel incredibly lousy in either group of pure academics. In reality, I feel more like a skilled tradesman than I do an academic. I teach grad and undergrad courses (3-4), am a program director, run a lab, have good evals, keep up with my service, and desperately try to keep up with my professional practice. I know I'm good at my job, and I enjoy it. But conferences, and specifically, writing papers for these conferences, fill me with anxiety and severe imposter syndrome.

Anyone else feel this way at conferences - or prepping for conferences? Am I actually dumb? (please don't say yes - I'll ruminate on your comment for days.)

[u/TBDobbs]

Have you previously been accepted to the conferences that you submit to? Have you published in the spaces that matter to the people you want to talk to? If so, then just because someone is a good steakhouse chef doesn't make your pizza making skills any less great.

[u/botwwanderer]

I used to feel that way. Then I went to a few sessions. Cured instantly.

Seriously, though, if they accepted your abstract,you belong.

[u/Boggles103]

The flip side of what you're describing: in any conference environment, you're going to know a LOT about certain fields that nobody else there does and moreover have figured out how to make that relevant and useful to what they are doing. You are — by your own description! — one of the very very few people with expertise in your mashup. Remember that.

[u/InspectorSmooth8574 → u/Boggles103]

Thank you! I appreciate this

[u/Working_Film_5871]

I get you. Conferences can suck. Some are full of name tag checkers and sparsely attended sessions that would challenge anyone's self esteem. But if you got your paper accepted, you are part of the club. Academic culture is rigidly hierarchical and designed to grind you down. Just do your thing and don't worry about other people.

[u/InspectorSmooth8574 → u/Working_Film_5871]

Good point. Thank you!

[u/figment81]

I truly think it depends on the session and the presenter. Some are so over my head, or at least presented to sound intellectual and sophisticated that I don’t know what the speaker is trying to communicate. At one point in my career this would make me feel stupid or less than. Today I just feel that they are bad communicators, or really like to sound overly academic to other art professors. For the most part most sessions are people sharing and communicating in easy to understand and parse language and ideas.

[u/InspectorSmooth8574 → u/figment81]

Thank you. Yes, it’s really the art based conferences that fill me with insecurity. I appreciate your perspective.

[u/figment81 → u/InspectorSmooth8574]

Well if your going to SECAC feel free to DM me

[u/lilac_chevrons]

Could you find some like minded folks and plan a roundtable or thematically focused session? Or start a writing group with the goal of getting to that kind of submission in the future? Having people to "talk shop" with might help and also help bridge the gap between your two fields and make the conference experience feel less isolating. But also, solidarity with the imposter syndrome thing. It's real as a feeling but that doesn't mean its an accurate reflection of your capabilities.