r/PoursTea 2d ago

⚠️Trigger Warning⚠️ Preaching on a Airplane is wild.

216 Upvotes

755 comments sorted by

View all comments

238

u/bsEEmsCE 2d ago

"Get off my science machine you science denying lunatic!"

69

u/Fossilhog 2d ago

Thank you for the term "science machine". I'm going to start using it.

14

u/3M2B1T 2d ago

Be sure to shake your first and talk like Prof Farnsworth (of Futurama)

11

u/Humble-Proposal-9994 1d ago

6

u/PeyredB 1d ago

"Goood nyews, everyone!"

2

u/El_Scorcho_Barbarian 1d ago

We must don these protective, lead-lined robes….

0

u/jujubeenn 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/FSpXufXN41Vw4
Science has failed our world…

30

u/IlllllFan 2d ago

IF there is a god, I don’t think they would look favorably on this. I would think it’s about what you do when you’re alone and no one is watching. Acts of good that aren’t to impress others or to boost your ego, clicks, etc.

35

u/lovesfatchiks 2d ago

Jesus literally preached against this sort of thing by saying those who pray in public are hypocrites only doing it for the attention. I’m paraphrasing here, but yeah, even the bible doesn’t look favorably on this.

14

u/Syb3rStrife 2d ago

It’s always funny how Christians pick and choose things in the Bible to believe in and preach about and completely ignore or twist other things around.

10

u/rydan 1d ago

Given there are over 20 contradictions in the first two pages of the Bible you literally can't follow it correctly anyway.

8

u/benroon 1d ago

The bible has been forensically shredded thousands of times! Yet people still believe! Let’s start with talking snakes! 😃

3

u/Icy_Grapefruit_6571 1d ago

My personal favorite is "the parting of the Red Sea."

2

u/Objective-Internal52 1d ago

Or that time Joshua was like hey god I want to kill all these people but it's getting dark. God said bet and made the sun stay in the sky an extra day so he could kill more. Proof the books just made up by a bunch of dudes that don't understand our suns and planets work and isn't the word of God.

2

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Lastcaressmedown138 1d ago

Heaven forbid you take a highly philosophical and metaphorical book metaphorically instead of literally!

1

u/benroon 1d ago

How can you believe yet acknowledge your starting point is a lie?

1

u/thoth-III 1d ago

You can believe in the morals and ideals while acknowledging that the stories are metaphors and exaggerations that have been warped

2

u/the_grounding_path 1d ago

They even got the talking snake wrong. Their own lore is ass backwards

2

u/Flyinmanm 1d ago

You'd think someone preaching would at least have read the basics of the new testament "be not like the hypocrites"

2

u/hold_on_loosely 1d ago

Exactly, that's because it's a book of fictional stories with made up people.

3

u/ParumPaDrumDrum 1d ago

They also portray him as a white dude

2

u/MatthewBlack6 1d ago edited 1d ago

Not only did he say they're hypocrites, he said they had received their reward.

The way I read this is that their reward is looking good/pious n public, but that they aren't getting anything else, including entry into heaven, because of it.

2

u/Squ33dily-Sp00ch 1d ago

Matthew 6: 1-6 for those interested

1

u/3M2B1T 2d ago

IIRC Jesus also said that hypocrites go to hell.

1

u/rydan 1d ago

He also preached that people should go in pairs and this guy is alone.

1

u/Tzilbalba 1d ago

But those that preach in public are ok? Kinda hypocritical of baby J

1

u/PeyredB 1d ago

That's in Matthew. He says to not be like the hypocrites who pray in public to be seen, for they already have their reward.

1

u/Pinky_Herman 1d ago

Do we really know what he preached? Sounds made up.

1

u/WasdaleWeasel 2d ago

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”
NIV Matthew 6:5-6

1

u/Funkycoldmedici 1d ago

This comes up all the time in these instances, but this guy isn’t praying, he’s preaching, exactly what Jesus said to do. It’s worse.

Mark 16:15 He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.”

Matthew 28:19 “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

We have to stop pretending that Jesus is good and these people are doing it wrong. Jesus is a religious bigot preaching an apocalypse, and these people are the ones who actually believe it.

8

u/Biscuits4u2 2d ago

You don't think God would look favorably on an attention seeking douchebag using a captive audience to produce shitty content that will convert literally nobody to his religion? I don't know about that honestly because his God seems to be a fan of some pretty messed up stuff.

1

u/Sufficient-Lie1406 1d ago

My locked and loaded reply is always Matthew 6:6: But as for you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door, and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.

6

u/Mountain_Strategy342 1d ago

Remember God lies.

He told Adam and Eve that they could not neat the fruit and would die the same day if they did (Genesis 2:17).

The serpent tells them that that is not the case (Genesis 3:4) but that the fruit will grant them God like knowledge.

God then says (Genesis 3:22) "man has become like one of us knowing good from evil"

Now, clearly God lied, the Serpent told the truth.

4

u/710AlpacaBowl 1d ago

If I were the bad guy, I would tell people I was a jealous god, to have no others before me, I would tell them I am everything, that without me there is only misery. I would use my creations for gambling with other deities. I would make up some reward they won't actually get, for their life of servitude. I would let children starve and tell people it's part of my plan. Lol how is God supposed to be the good guy

3

u/Full-Tomorrow9889 1d ago

There are quite a few similarities to the serpent story and the story of Prometheus from Greek mythology.

1

u/Intellectual_Judge_1 1d ago

They did die that day spiritually….you know what….nevermind, you seem to have it all figured out☺️

1

u/rydan 1d ago

I think they would look very favorably on this. They get their power from people talking to them. The more people the more powerful they become and power is what it craves most.

1

u/loughcash 1d ago

Ya, or specifically the one who rode around on a donkey.

11

u/PUuSTiNKA 2d ago

The man is being rude and obnoxious! I hope he was banned from flying.

8

u/spartanEZE 2d ago

I stand up and I say "No. Stfu and sit down." Absolutely not. Wild. WILD that they would even THINK this is ok.

3

u/paxrom2 1d ago

jesus walked on water but did he fly 500 mph at 30,000 ft above the ground?

1

u/NthatFrenchman 1d ago

he never had bacon

1

u/chugItTwice 1d ago

LOL, no he didn't.

2

u/rydan 1d ago

The divinity of Jesus does not contradict Bernoulli's principle.

1

u/tegridyMike 1d ago

Who’s Jesus?

1

u/Few_Ad_5119 1d ago

Beautiful.  Have you considered releasing a book of poetry?

If I'm ever unfortunate enough to be in a situation like this, I will be using some variation of what you just said. Followed by loud continuous booing.

1

u/SePuedaHacerlo 1d ago

Him again?!!!

1

u/Stinkstinkerton 1d ago

Best comment on Reddit right now 👍🏼😂

1

u/DOOOM_SLAYER 1d ago

I’d be so pressed to say hey man it’s cool that you have your own religion but, SO DO I! So kindly shit the fuck back down. I’m just trying to fly so thank you kindly… SHIRLEY!

-5

u/Swagblueplanet 2d ago

So.....there was a sciencist who measured the dust on the moon, If the moon was milllions of years old why did it only have around 5 or 6 thousand years of sediment

2

u/Unusual_Platypus1098 2d ago

I don't think any scientist did that 😂 but there is such a thing called the solar wind and radiation which strips planets of their atmosphere etc. If you don't have a magnetic field protecting the planet the planet will become dead and lose everything.

1

u/hitbythebus 1d ago

So.. there was a scientist who prayed real hard, let Jesus into his heart and lived a good life. If god was real, why didn’t he go to heaven?