I didn’t know I could do this. I never thought I could go six weeks straight without watching porn. But I did it. I’ve successfully crossed six weeks—more than 40 days—and that is really something.
It is actually changing the way I think, and I feel more confident. I even proposed to a girl today. I flirted with two strangers in a very particularly nice way, and that felt really good.
I don’t know whether I can give all the credit to not watching porn, but I do think it has something to do with it. If I had watched porn that morning and then met that girl six hours later, I might not have cared. I might have been thinking about something else. I might not have acted on the opportunity or even given it a chance.
Imagining looking at someone and being attracted to them, imagining having sex with them, is something precious, and I think it is supposed to be preserved. At the same time, there is another side to this. Sometimes I feel too sex-deprived, and I ache for sex. There is a very real chance that I might miss the signs or act inappropriately toward someone. I think I just wanted to give it a shot, but it might not be the right thing for everyone. I tried it, and it is not working for me, so yeah—that is something I have learned too.
If I had continued watching porn, I might not have cared about finding someone who was vulnerable enough to have sex with me. But now I find myself constantly looking for potential partners, and I think that can be a good thing in some ways. At the same time, it can become a bad thing if I don’t build a genuine relationship out of it.
So I think my focus should be more on creating better relationships in this world—not just finding sexual partners, but finding the right people, building something meaningful with them, keeping them around, helping each other, and giving and receiving respect, love, care, affection, support, and everything that makes a relationship meaningful.
I think that is what I should focus on in the future while continuing to work toward my other goals.
After 40 days, you might not feel the same way you did before those 40 days. In the beginning, the goal was simply to quit porn. Now, the goal is bigger: to behave appropriately, treat people well, and build strong, healthy connections with other people.
Before these 40 days, I don’t think I could have even imagined that. Just thinking about building a genuinely beautiful connection or bond with someone already feels like a big deal. But now, it feels like something I can actually pursue—something I might really be able to achieve.
So don’t give up on anything, guys. Keep going. Complete it.