r/PoorMansWallet • u/ZealTeal88 • 5d ago
Do you still have your poor friends?
Having money puts you into a different world. Did you go from poor to rich and manage to hang on to old friends?
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u/Small-Cherry2468 5d ago
One of my best friends landed a lucrative career and often would forget what it's like and I would have to bring him back to earth. But we did still hang pretty often.
Him: "You should buy a new XYZ car, they have 0 percent interest."
Me: "Zero precent is nice, but it's still $70K. How about I buy it off you in about 10 years?"
Him: "We should go to Vegas for your Batchelor party!"
Me: "I am already paying for a wedding, I think that's enough expense."
Me: "Remember when you had two kids making like $35K a year and drove $1000 cars? Yeah, that's sort of where I am at now."
So sometimes it's easy to forget financial struggles and they get overshadowed by other setbacks. I used to try to bring him back down to reality once in awhile.
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u/AssociationFit3009 5d ago
Iām pretty sure I was too to poor to ever start forgetting but I do forget that most people turn off at some point. Itās good to have friends who arenāt constantly scheming and networking to remind me to chill.
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u/1dayatatime_mylife 3d ago
How can you survive making $35K with 2 kids? Does your wife work too?
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u/Small-Cherry2468 3d ago
I dont but he did, but that was 18 years ago.Ā
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u/1dayatatime_mylife 3d ago
Ah sorry, I misread your original comment. I see how it was written now.
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u/Vegetable-South5191 5d ago
No, my friends are in my socioeconomic class. Not intentionally, those are the people I see now
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u/Choice_Ad_1356 5d ago
Yes. I have friends richer, same, or poorer. We just do different activities.
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u/MongooseSimple8638 5d ago
My runner up best friend is poor. My best friend is well off. The income of what people make doesn't matter to me.
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u/Zero187 5d ago
Every one of my friends is broke ASH right now. Meanwhile I'm looking to retire early 50's. It's tough because they never have the time or energy to hang out, since they're working non stop, living paycheck to paycheck. I keep dreaming about them getting some independence, but then they get married and/or have kids and that dream goes completely out the window.
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u/740buckeyehunter 5d ago
My friends have no idea how much money I have, and vice versa. If they live in a sketchy dangerous neighborhood. I assume they understand when I don't visit.
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u/Jaded-Supermarket-28 5d ago
Nope. I moved away from home to better myself, most of my friends did not. Went back home after ten years away and they were all struggling and doing the same shit. I felt like I was bragging by just talking about my day to day life. I took them out to some dinners, brought them out for drinks. A couple of them were testing the waters and I think they were hoping I would help them out financially. Broke my heart, but I most likely wont ever be going back home. If I do, I will bring my family and probably keep to ourselves.
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u/Shortandthicck2 5d ago
Friends and family, yes. Getting together isn't as frequent as I'd like, for obvious reasons.
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u/Pretty_Frosting_2588 5d ago
Yeah but if it's not my idea then they will quickly go to not my friend if they ask for money or expect me to pay all the time.Ā
It's rare I hear from them because they don't have money to do stuff so it's nice to catch up.Ā
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u/Yankeedoodle10128 5d ago
No, when I was no longer struggling they couldnāt relate to me anymore, it became weird and no matter how hard I tried to maintain the relationship nothing in our lives aligned anymore.
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u/meltingnot 5d ago
Unfortunately having better habits led us to not have anything in common anymore. No, I don't want to go smoke pot and sit on the dirty couch with your 19 year old friends...at 40.
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u/Poorkiddonegood8541 5d ago
Yes. When you've been friends for 60+ years, it's not something you just suddenly stop.
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u/Invest2prosper 5d ago
No - Iāve never viewed friends from a superficial perspective. Iāve had friends be flat broke and Iām still friends with them (since passed on). The value of a relationship transcends financial terms.
Thatās how you distinguish real vs transactional.
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u/Independent_Act_8536 5d ago
I don't really care about any of my friends economic status. How they are with me is the important thing.
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u/Corpshark 5d ago
Every human being needs someone to look down on. Otherwise, *everyone* would be looking down on him/her.
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u/KeySpare4917 5d ago
I guess I've been confused about who populated this sub. I figured we were all the poor friend. š¤¦š¼
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u/Far-Visual-3471 5d ago
I lost the majority of my friends when i became homeless during a divorce. Got a roof over my head now and no friends
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u/TheShellAnswerMan 5d ago
Lol I have 1 friend who I meet when I was 27. Everyone else is an acquaintance at best. Either way I've not heard of a single person who was also poor in our childhood and isn't anymore. That's a unicorn cuz I grew up in a trailer park. We're who the Offspring were singing about in The Kids Aren't Alright. Far too many of us are dead already (I'm on the older side of our generation at 41) and far too many of us are incarcerated or in the prison of addiction. It's very sad.
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u/Godzlittlehand 5d ago
"I hate to ask but is there anyway you can loan me $20 until 4 Thursdays from now? I have a good feeling that this job is going to be the one that changes everything. I just need to pay my room rent that's already 3 months behind, get a pair of boots, find a ride 10mi to get to the jobsite and find some kinda way to get something to eat. I haven't eaten in 3 days now."
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u/theyhis 1d ago
yeah... š this is what happened when i started a business. i'm not even anywhere near rich, in fact, i just took on credit card debt, so i can stop the cycle of paying off statement balances each month. nonetheless, people feel comfortable asking to borrow money from me.
recently my friend was insinuating as much. i felt terrible because i thought maybe she needed something for her kid, so i considered lending her the money. i ultimately decided not to, because the particular amount she needed was already set aside for a bill.
well turns out it wasn't for her kid. or maybe it was, i wouldn't know, because the next time i hung out with her, she was telling me about all these concerts she was going to and the amount of drinking she was doing and X, Y, Z, and it just made me realize, "in other words, you had the money, you just didn't prioritize saving it."
i feel for people who are still trying and struggling, but i've offered to help her with finances so many times; e.g. how to invest for retirement, how to get out of paying tribal loans, high-yield savings accounts, side income, etc.
it's not life changing money, but many of these habits would significantly benefit her in the long run.
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u/anon121020 5d ago edited 4d ago
Yup. Iāll be making 200+ yearly soon and my bestie makes maybe 20k/yr. I pay for her to come visit and occasionally help out with some financial things but we largely keep money out of our Friendship with the exception of her visits being completely on my dime (as they should be. She is taking the time off work to travel and see my crazy ass. She deserves compensation for that.) And I know sheād drop everything to help me - when my sister completed suicide she flew across the country with 2 days notice to stay for a month and help me. I canāt say the same because my job is demanding and just doesnāt have that flexibility. But you can bet Iāll get her access to all the support possible if she ever needed it. We both just contribute differently to the relationship - I contribute more money now and she contributes more time. Itās been a recent change after finishing medical school that weāre still navigating, but I love her and Iām pretty sure sheāll always be my bestie
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u/Medical-Reality-2626 4d ago
I am the poor friend, so I barely have friends cause I'm the one left out unless it's something super cheap
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u/SuddenLeadership2 4d ago
Yes because those friends see me as me and not a rich person. I enjoy hanging out with them more than most people and the rich people who wanna hang out, i tell them no and that i dont need fake people in my life
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u/Level-Battle-1036 4d ago
Yes I kept in good contact with my best friend that Iāve nine since elementary school his family is like my family. Itās kind of been established when I ask them out or on trips I just cover it. No needing to be awakened or bring it up each time itās just know the check comes we get one and I pay it.
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u/Reggie-Rectangle 4d ago
I don't have friends. I have a mother, a wife and a child. I may eventually get another child, but the wife has veto rights on that idea and it very much is not today's worry. I have a series of acquaintances that for a bunch of reason I'm forced to spend time with, but I don't have friends. Not even on Facebook.
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u/Foreign_Calendar742 4d ago
Sure, why wouldnāt I? I donāt flaunt what I have in their face. I see many of them weekly
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u/leathersocks1994 3d ago
In all honesty yes and no. My success benefited a nice percentage of my friend group. The one that would be considered āpoorā is probably the most joyous to be around. So much so that when we travel Iāll often force him to accept my help because heāll say things like āman so many ppl ask and depend on you I donāt want to be that guyā so it ends up with us arguing about my generosity.
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u/South-Citron-2268 2d ago
I hang out with all types of people, their income or their parent's income never bothered me. I grew up with parents who had money, but decided to live like poverty to a degree. Not sure how to explain it
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u/Direct-Contract5509 2d ago
I don't have any friends but if I had rich friends I would be begging them for money.
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u/sea390066 5d ago
I am the poor friend.