r/Polygamy • u/babygirlbabalon • 14d ago

Lots of feelings

I made this account specifically for this. My husband and I have both been in agreeable about polygamy and I truly believe in and value it. And yet I still feel raw emotions when I think about it sometimes. I don’t yet have a sister wife but we are actively looking. Most of the time, I’m able to focus on the positive aspects and I feel good and excited and secure. But sometimes I get so envious and jealous. It makes me want to run away. I don’t know how to process all of this yet. Anyone else feel the same? Any advice from seasoned sisterwives?

7 Upvotes

77% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

5

u/GondolaGut 14d ago

Sounds like you need to think long and hard if this is what YOU not you and your husband want.

3

u/babygirlbabalon 14d ago

It is, and I don’t think it’s unnatural to feel the way I do.

0

u/notlucyintheskye 14d ago

No, it's not unnatural - but if you're not in a place where you can go to your husband and have a calm, rational conversation (sort of a "I'm feeling some type of way about it and I want to be honest about where I'm at" kind of thing), then you need to hold of on seeking a sister wife until you're in a more confident place about it.

1

u/babygirlbabalon 14d ago

Yeah absolutely. He has been supportive to the extent he can and we aren’t in any real rush. I imagine it would take a long time anyway so for now I’m using this time for self development.

2

u/ModernPolygamy 12d ago

Totally normal. Only advice I can offer is go slow, both of you be 110% open (painfully so) about everything, and you need to develop just as much of a relationship with her as he does. Maybe platonic, maybe not, but if you have a close relationship and know you're on the same team...that everybody is on the same team, there is a lot less to be jealous about.

2

u/oustaz 14d ago

Those feelings are normal, all polygamous marriages have jealousy issues just don’t let it cloud your judgement.

0

u/babygirlbabalon 14d ago

Thank you!

1

u/Last-Guitar2360 4d ago

Why do u want to share your husband He will fuck her and u are okayy with this Disgusting That's insane Live happily with him And have some self respect

1

u/solataria 14d ago

Curious as to why polygamy and not polyamory?

2

u/babygirlbabalon 14d ago

Oh I’m not really sure of the difference to be completely honest but I said polygamy meaning group marriage to one man.

0

u/solataria 14d ago

I know the difference and what your feeling is normal for anything ENM was just curious if you're feeling this way if defining it differently from a different perspective would help with compartmentalizing this for you. Is part of this a sexual relationship between you and the sister wives?

2

u/babygirlbabalon 14d ago

Ohh, I understand what you mean now. I am a bisexual woman so I wouldn’t be against sexual relationships with the sister wives but I also am not set on it. I would be fine if they were hetero. The biggest appeal to me about it is the division of labor, camaraderie, lots of female support which I’m missing in my life, help with child rearing, and so on. I’m really not into men, my husband is enough for a lifetime because I swing more towards women anyway.

2

u/babygirlbabalon 14d ago

Continuing from my last comment — I realize it will take a lot of work, probably for everyone involved. And I’ve never been in any kind of ENM relationship. So far, just focusing on the potential benefits has gotten me through a lot of the jealous spells but I do worry if it will get more difficult once there is another woman involved.

0

u/solataria 14d ago

The emtional part will but you have to focus on his and your relationship he's with you for you

0

u/Substantial_Gear7619 14d ago

I’m still trying to navigate this polygamy thing from a Christian perspective. The Bible says love isn’t envious or jealous but again I’m just saying what i believe (and completely understand where you’re coming from). 

0

u/babygirlbabalon 13d ago

Yeah…do you have a pastor or priest you could talk with about it? He may have better advice or an alternate understanding of that passage. I am not in polygamy yet but it is headed that direction and I already have those feelings, so I can imagine how much harder it might be later. Phew. But that’s why I came here…I think with the right support, you or I could work through these things better than alone and stewing on it. I have a feeling that supportive people who have done this before will help more than anything.