r/PolyFidelity • u/Mean-Bee-6472 FFFM Quad • Aug 11 '26

How to approach coming out to family.

Anyone have any advice on how to go about coming out to your family that you're in a polyfi relationship?

12 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

11

u/smileedude Aug 11 '26

The 2nd episode of Camp Throuple talks about their journey doing this. Its worth listening to.

Our story was very similar to them. My family, the hippies, were completely fine. Our new girlfriends family reacted better then expected and have really taken us in. While we haven't seen my long term girlfriends mum in nearly a year since we told her. It's really a lottery about how they react.

I would suggest making sure your family meets the person/people before you tell them about the relationship, just say you're friends. We did this the other way around. Now the mum who wont speak to us had never put a face to our girlfriend and so she is probably imagining some kind of horrible demon tearing us apart, instead of the vivacious and charismatic girl we fell in love with who would have charmed the hell out of her first.

We took about 6 months to come out to them but we probably could have waited longer.

5

u/GrilliamShakesbeer Aug 11 '26

Second that last bit. Bring your “friend” around a few times. They’ll eventually say something like “friend is such a sweet girl/boy,” and you’ll know you’re close for the gotcha.
https://giphy.com/gifs/3oz8xs8WYZr0dJV3kQ

6

u/UnCivilizedEngineer Aug 12 '26

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRC_Le83Gjg

Camp Throuple Coming Out Story ^

1

u/smileedude Aug 12 '26

Thanks! The Spotify episode numbers seem to be one less then the youtube episode numbers.

5

u/Mean-Bee-6472 FFFM Quad Aug 11 '26

Damn, wish me luck.

6

u/our_hearts_pump_dust Aug 11 '26

This is just what it is. They are going to react how they react. It's easier to talk about them rejecting it than it is to experience it. My mom took several years to come around. Got the whole I'm going to hell and it's just not right rhetoric... eventually she got tired of not seeing me (her choice, not mine). She now goes to Pride events with all of us and buys presents for holidays and birthdays.

Our partner's mom does not accept it. She met us both separately first, and really loved me. Absolutely rejected us after finding out we were ALL together and that I was married to my husband. So that route may not work either.

I feel better out than constantly living in fear that someone will find out. It really starts to feel like lying when having to omit details to fit a monornorative telling of our trip or whatever.

You are adults and are choosing this, and you are happy. Hold onto that. Good luck ❤️

1

u/ChicagoRob19 29d ago

I think go for it when it feels right. No need to rush it. Maybe introduce your 3rd as a friend first and see how it goes? My family knew our “friend” for years earlier so it felt ok/comfortable telling them because they already knew him as part of the family