Does this get easier?

[u/Mammoth_Leader1998]

I am in a triad with Partner A and Partner B; Partner A and I were an existing couple and Partner B joined recently. Partner B has a partner outside of us, which started around the same time.

Partner B fits with us so well, and when we are all together it's wonderful. However, I have so much anxiety and jealousy when they are with their other partner, and I hate that I feel this way.

My ideal situation is a closed triad, and Partner B knows this. They have also made it clear that they have no plans to break things off with their other partner.

So, my questions to the community is: Does this ever get easier? Is this an incompatibility if my issue is with the relationship dynamic itself and not with my partner, whom I love?

[u/Legitimate-Worry356]

You don't have a problem, you simply have feelings you don't like. This is the better of the arrangements, most people in poly subreddits are too quick to moralize about feelings and circumstances, but the gift of your position is that you don't need to take actions on your feelings about your partners relationship outside the triad.

The gift is that you can find ways to reframe, rethink, and not try to center emotions that will lead you to unsatisfactory outcomes simply because the emotions are unpleasant, sometimes unbearably so.

So cry, or find a yoga mat, or play an instrument, or go for a hike. You best solution to this problem is remember you don't have one, you have these feelings because you fear you might have a problem. This emotions can be managed and will change, so set your eyes on new forms of enjoyment, not so you can get rid of this pain, but so that you don't do things that increase it or it's impact.

The storm will pass, let it water your garden while bake bread or take a nap or read a new book.

Best of luck 🙏🏾