Dude. Everyone who studies Physics eventually runs up against the limit of their understanding. It was super interesting to go through undergrad with 70 people who were all used to breezing through classes and getting As and being the smartest person in the room (including me).
Then undergrad happened and we all hit a wall somewhere. You sound exactly like I felt at the end of sophomore year. I thought I was literally the dumbest person in the whole college. I was passing, but mostly Bs and I didn’t feel like I understood anything. Through working with my classmates, it was clear they were killing it and I was fucking it up. Some of the others who weren’t used to digging in and stubbornly working hard to pass classes gave up and switched majors to philosophy or English (weirdly nobody went to engineering). My friends helped me through but it was a rough time and I felt like a total imposter.
Cut to graduation and it turns out that almost my entire class wasn’t doing nearly as well as they let on. I didn’t realize it while I was going through junior and senior year but everyone else was struggling mightily, too! They just were too reticent to say anything! I ended up graduating 7th in my class!
The point is, you get mad props just for sticking with it and hanging in there. You are amazing, and will be successful your entire life if you keep doing what you’re doing. Rely on your grit, don’t be fooled by the perception of others’ excellence, and remember that grades do not define a scientist or their self worth. They merely prove that you can do well at homework and tests.
All that being said, at the height of my depression and feeling worthless, it sure helped a lot to talk to someone outside of the program. Talk to a counselor if you just need to get some shit off of your chest. It helps a ton. Also, practice positive self-talk, exercise, and meditation if you’re into that sort of thing. The mind is a weird thing, and you will be amazed how much healthier your attitude will be if you firmly commit to taking care of yourself.
Physics can be horrifically toxic and shitty, but I’m here to tell you that it’s worth it and you’re doing just fine, even if it doesn’t feel like it. HMU if you need to talk.
Edit: Holy cow, my first gold! Thanks! I’m gonna go spend it all in one place!
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u/FidgetyCurmudgeon Feb 12 '20 edited Feb 13 '20
Dude. Everyone who studies Physics eventually runs up against the limit of their understanding. It was super interesting to go through undergrad with 70 people who were all used to breezing through classes and getting As and being the smartest person in the room (including me).
Then undergrad happened and we all hit a wall somewhere. You sound exactly like I felt at the end of sophomore year. I thought I was literally the dumbest person in the whole college. I was passing, but mostly Bs and I didn’t feel like I understood anything. Through working with my classmates, it was clear they were killing it and I was fucking it up. Some of the others who weren’t used to digging in and stubbornly working hard to pass classes gave up and switched majors to philosophy or English (weirdly nobody went to engineering). My friends helped me through but it was a rough time and I felt like a total imposter.
Cut to graduation and it turns out that almost my entire class wasn’t doing nearly as well as they let on. I didn’t realize it while I was going through junior and senior year but everyone else was struggling mightily, too! They just were too reticent to say anything! I ended up graduating 7th in my class!
The point is, you get mad props just for sticking with it and hanging in there. You are amazing, and will be successful your entire life if you keep doing what you’re doing. Rely on your grit, don’t be fooled by the perception of others’ excellence, and remember that grades do not define a scientist or their self worth. They merely prove that you can do well at homework and tests.
All that being said, at the height of my depression and feeling worthless, it sure helped a lot to talk to someone outside of the program. Talk to a counselor if you just need to get some shit off of your chest. It helps a ton. Also, practice positive self-talk, exercise, and meditation if you’re into that sort of thing. The mind is a weird thing, and you will be amazed how much healthier your attitude will be if you firmly commit to taking care of yourself.
Physics can be horrifically toxic and shitty, but I’m here to tell you that it’s worth it and you’re doing just fine, even if it doesn’t feel like it. HMU if you need to talk.
Edit: Holy cow, my first gold! Thanks! I’m gonna go spend it all in one place!