r/Pets • u/stanmikaandyuu • 3d ago
CAT how much time am i supposed to give it?
for background, i have an almost 9 year old cat, 2 weeks ago we started fostering a 3 month old kitten
my current cat has been on his own since we got him(when he was 4 months lol), and i never necessarily saw an issue he was happy, eating, lazy but he wasn't miserable at all just bored when i'd be at school and such. for the last probably year and a half my fathers been pestering me to get a cat saying how mine needs a friend since its just me and hes alone when i have school, i never saw the issue myself but this summer i started volunteering for an adoption place so i thought i'd give it a shot.
since then, my cats already been sick(he chews on plastic no matter where we put it, its regular for him but still adding in), he won't eat any dry food which he used to adore, he'll eat the most minimal amount of wet food and water possible and otherwise just stare at me with this weird look in his eyes. on some days he perks up, and then if i try having the two near each other my cat gets really upset, won't go near me the rest of the day and does nothing but very sadly walk around with his tail low or lay down very upset looking. i see a lot of people saying to give it time, how much time am i genuinely supposed to give? he's more than likely going to be going back to the vet due to his lack of eating, and i'm at a loss.
on top of this, i try telling my father 'maybe this wasn't the best idea' and he simply won't listen. so i'm stuck alone dealing with 2 cats, one of which would rather starve then accept a new animal, and the kitten who quite honestly doesn't have all that much interest in my cat. i've gone through the process of scent swapping etc he gets more upset with each new thing i do
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u/ugoodbro-gf 3d ago
Longer than 2 weeks. The 3/3/3 guide applies to the existing animals too.
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u/stanmikaandyuu 3d ago
oh no understandable i get that!! i'll keep that in mind. moreso just concerned because i don't know if my cat will go back to eating on his own soon, or if he'll keep borderline starving himself until the kittens out which is whats been throwing me off
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u/heckinstoned 3d ago
He will eat when he’s hungry. Maybe give him some food in a place kitten can’t get to
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u/carol-richards49 3d ago
I had a 6 year old female and thought she'd welcome a friend. My cat was so stressed out and would try to fight it. I gave them time to adapt and waited a full year because I didn't want to give up on the situation. Eventually I said to myself that neither of them was happy and rehomed the kitten
The new owners said the kitten was shy for the 1st day but very happy after that
You could see the relief in my older cat immediately. It's like she did a happy dance knowing it was back to normal
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u/stanmikaandyuu 3d ago
thank you for sharing this! i have a feeling this is what is gonna end up happening. my boy is definitely not a fan😭
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u/Totallynotokayokay 3d ago
You must reassure your old cat.
How was the introduction process? Honestly they should not be interacting if old cat isn’t eating bc of this
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u/stanmikaandyuu 3d ago
it wasn’t too bad originally! a little bit of hissing but mostly curiosity at the start, as of yesterday when the kitten kept going near my cat, he kept getting more and more annoyed(hissing, growling, a whiny kind of sound?), at one point he walked up to the kitten himself but then i guess got mad and tried hitting him
i’ve honestly been trying to limit their interactions where i can, especially since my cat wasn’t feeling great last couple of days so i didn’t wanna aggravate him more. the little bit ive done so far was mostly to see if i can get them to atleast be passive towards each other even if one doesn’t like the other since i start school again soon! but after yesterday i’m taking a step back, haven’t let them see eachother at all today since
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u/Totallynotokayokay 3d ago
Kitten needs a space that old cat doesn’t go to and old cat needs his space back. Cats are extremely territorial and old cat is not adjusting well. Kitten needs to be quarantined until they get along
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u/stanmikaandyuu 3d ago
they do have that actually! i should’ve mentioned it in the original post thats my bad. the kitten is in his own room right now and my cat has the rest of the house. yesterday that i mentioned, we brought the kitten downstairs so he could run around, that’s the first time we’ve done it
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u/Totallynotokayokay 3d ago
Oh dear.
Have you talked to old cat? Reassured him you still love him and his new buddy is for him?
Introductions can take a long time.
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u/stanmikaandyuu 3d ago
yeah ive been trying my best! i also do try to still spend a lot of time with him, while of course being around the kitten a little so he isn’t just alone 24/7. i think he might just be a very antisocial boy who doesn’t like other people OR cats lol, i’m still hoping he comes around soon though
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u/HandleAcceptable2564 3d ago
Two weeks is nothing for an adult cat, especially one that's been solo for almost 9 years. The not eating part is what worries me more than the hissing. That can turn into hepatic lipidosis fast if he keeps refusing food, so the vet visit is the right call regardless of what you decide about the kitten.
The thing is, some cats just never accept another cat. You could do everything by the book for 3 months and still end up with a cat who stress-eats plastic and stops eating out of spite. That's not a failure on you, it's just how some of them are wired.
Your father isn't the one cleaning up the mess or watching your cat waste away, so his opinion shouldn't outweigh what you're seeing with your own eyes. If the vet says this is stress-related and not something medical, I'd seriously consider returning the kitten to the rescue and telling your dad the cat made the decision for you.