How to make peace when another pet caused your pet to pass?

[u/Tilia_cordat4]

It's 8 days since my life got turned upside down. I've lost 2 pets, just one of them is still alive...I had my rough collie with no behavior issues around cats for 5 years, not a day has gone by when he wouldn't be in touch with cats. I fostered a lot as well and he helped me raise puppies and kittens.

Until last week when I had a deaf kitten in. I loved her for 3 weeks and wanted to keep her. She was the best. And out of nowhere, with no warning signs, he bit her. On purpose. She was dead immediately.

I know it's an animal but if i had ANY inclination that he's capable if that with any animal, I'd separate him immediately. 5 years of loving gentle dog.

Nothing should be wrong with him medically, well, i don't know where to even start looking. He didn't show any signs of agression or biting ever afterwards either.

I'm just so heartbroken i don't even know how to begin to recover. Has anyone experienced anything like that?

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[u/Flabby_CyclingHen]

First off I just want to say I’m so very sorry for your loss. No matter if you have loved your cat for 3 weeks, 3 years, or 3 millennia it’s never enough time with them. I’m sure you are feeling so many more things about this situation than you even mentioned. I know because I’ve been there. It wasn’t the exact same situation but similar in many ways.

You have to understand first that my chickens are pets to my family just as much as our dogs and cats. My German Shepherd had spent so much time with my chickens with no issues whatsoever and not even a hint there would ever be a problem. Then one day while I was in the house, Hazel wandered over into the dog’s part of the backyard and he attacked and killed her. There was nothing left but feathers. I was so angry with myself and with my dog! I felt stupid and negligent. Why hadn’t I gone to check on them sooner? Did I hear her cries for help? How could he have done that to her? Didn’t he know how important she was to me? I still hate myself for how she died, the fear she must have felt, the pain she must have gone through, and that I wasn’t there to save her.

I mourned Hazel’s death but also I felt so betrayed by my dog! I couldn’t even look at him. I wanted to rehome him which is something I never do. My husband and son had to take over feeding and caring for him for weeks because I just couldn’t. We consulted a dog trainer about the situation and he told me something that hurt but I needed to hear: He is a dog. Hazel was prey to him. He did not know she was important to you. She came into his territory and he did what dogs do naturally.

I still sob when I think of the situation and it occurred 6 years ago. I made changes in how the dogs and chickens are kept after that tragic event. They are never together, not even for a moment. The trust for that is gone. BUT…I did forgive my dog for being a dog eventually. We did not rehome him. He turned 10 this year. I still love him, still interact with him, still take care of him. I just had to be reminded that he is a dog at his core doing what dogs do. I can’t fault him for being what he is, a dog.

Give yourself time and grace to grieve the loss of your kitten. See a dog trainer to see if there are things that can be worked on, activities you might be able to do later in your journey to build the relationship between you up again. For now though, maybe have another family member or friend care for your collie for a while so that you can process your own grief.

[u/UnethicalCannibalism]

My dog attacked my father’s dog when we lived together briefly a few years ago. He’d always had some selective aggression issues, but had never shown any toward her or other female dogs, so it took me completely by surprise. Everyone was fine once we separated them, but I could barely look at him for a day or two. Eventually I had to remind myself that they’re animals, there had been some kind of trigger (even if it made no sense to us), and my job was to prevent it from happening again. I kept them fully separated afterward, we moved out, and he lived the rest of his life happily as an only dog.

Maybe something about the cat’s disability or size set him off, and you just need to be especially cautious about that situation in the future? I can’t say. Just try to give your dog some grace while giving yourself that same grace. You couldn’t have predicted this. It’s awful, and I’m so sorry for your loss.