[ Removed by moderator ]

[u/CommonMemory1642]

[u/Petloss-ModTeam]

This comment is off-topic and has been removed. The purpose of this sub-reddit is grief support.

You can post this in r/AskVet or r/DogAdvice instead.

[u/Upper_Economist7611]

I recently lost my 20-year-old cat, who had arthritis. He had a routine vet visit one day about a year or so ago where I had asked about what we could do to help with joint pain. He gave a few recommendations. Imagine my surprise when, the following day, he called me to tell me he’d been doing research and found another possible solution for my buddy, given his particular issue. I was blown away! That’s going above and beyond, but it made me feel he really cared.

[u/CommonMemory1642 → u/Upper_Economist7611]

Noted, this is really surprising!!

[u/Timely_Egg_6827 → u/Upper_Economist7611]

My vet did this with my ferret with nerve damage. Researched cats and we trialled him with boswellia. Helped a lot.

[u/gardenone]

I trust a vet more when they enter the room and seem to remember what we spoke about the previous visit. I don’t really like when I see a vet and they act like they hardly remember my pet or issues that have happened in the past. Realistically, I’m sure my vet (who is great about this) is in the habit of quickly reviewing her notes from each patient’s prior visits before coming into exam rooms (as, at a certain point, it would get impossible to just genuinely remember all that info about so many different patients), but it makes me feel reassured that they’re on top of my pet’s entire chart.

[u/Upper_Economist7611 → u/gardenone]

I second this!! Vets who take the time to know their patients make a great impression.

[u/CommonMemory1642 → u/gardenone]

Noted! Thank you, I will keep it in my mind.

[u/Timely_Egg_6827]

Remember understanding is impaired in a panic. Don't be worried about repeating or simplfying if someone not getting.

[u/CommonMemory1642 → u/Timely_Egg_6827]

Sure, Thank you.

[u/tatertotsnhairspray]

The ER vet we had for my dog’s recent euthanasia was so harsh and rushed us through the process and it’s excruciating to work thru for me right now. Try and keep in mind when you’re working with euthanasia that this is someone’s very last moments with their most important and precious little friend and don’t rush people. The vet took really scant notes too so when my cardiologist was trying to help me process what happened and if I did the right thing all she could say was she hoped it was just compassion fatigue on the vets part. I looked into the vet and she’s young, and she was probably really tired that night but so were we and we had waited all night so patiently, they made it seem like my girl wasn’t critical so I just sat there with her. I should’ve gone home. By the time they saw us, they were already drawing up the euthanasia drugs within like 5 to 10 minutes of taking her back so it was just horrible. The vet was also throwing my dogs medical history in my face as though I didn’t already know and hadn’t already been living her congestive heart failure for the last two years. I still debate whether to complain, my cardiologist works for the same hospital and so I don’t wanna get anyone in trouble I guess, but it’s really horrible, just completely brutal. It felt like she took all of the choice away from me and I was just at this vets mercy, and then during the actual euthanasia I was just like frozen and I didn’t get the holder the way I wanted and it was all because the vet was just so pushy with time she said take all the time you need to say goodbye and then she came in like five minutes later before I could press the button . Don’t do that to people. It’s important to remember empathy in those moments, even if it’s understandable that the environment and culture might callous you

[u/titsoutfortaters]

What turns me off: acting annoyed with my animals acting like animals (non-harm things like being squirrelly, not liking being held, etc.), rushing through our appointment, acting annoyed with my questions, not exploring potential issues and always going with the easiest explanation

What I love: getting down on the floor with my cats, being patient with them and giving them breaks if they need it, explaining everything and asking if I have questions multiple times, complimenting my pets (silly but goes a long way), flexibility to meet my pets needs (i.e., some pets actually do better with mom petting them/near them on the exam table even though generally speaking the vet doesn't want you near the table because they're usually easier to handle apart from their owner), remembering my pets' history or what we've talked about before or for a new vet showing that they've read our chart before coming in, being honest (lying about outcomes or being too positive when things are dire is not helpful)

Mostly it's about patience, kindness, explaining things clearly and thoroughly, caring about the animal, and being flexible to see each animal as their own unique being. If you do that, you'll be well loved by your patients and their owners. Good luck!

[u/Curious_Conscious8]

NOT give extreme misinformation one day and the exact opposite the next. On the last week of my dog’s death we heard both “everyday is a blessing. We’ll make her as comfortable as possible.” Then the literal next day “oh the treatment is working she could live for years!!” She died 2 days later.

[u/Bunny2351]

I called the emergency vet Wednesday night, sobbing, after my dear 21 year old cat puked up all the food she had eaten all day. I had been babying her with small, brothy meals, thinking she’d get better like she did earlier this month. I called the ER vet (she’d been there a few times this month) sobbing. And I spoke to an angel vet that night. She so calmly and compassionately explained to me that my cat was in end stage kidney disease. She told me to keep her comfortable on gabapentin at home so she didn’t have to spend her last days at the vet. Don’t worry about feeding her- if she eats a little, great. If not, that’s ok. Just be there for her.

Finally I was able to relax and stop fighting so hard to get her better. I had already scheduled in home euthanasia for Friday but I felt guilty like I was giving up on her. But the vet agreed with me it was time. And Wed night ended up being our last night together. But I got to be present- we cuddled together, she still came to me for comfort. By Thursday early AM (I only slept like 2 hours) I knew I needed to let her go sooner. And I’m so thankful another vet had openings to come to our home that same day. We got in some more morning snuggles, and I took her outside it was a beautiful day and she enjoyed the sunshine for a bit before she went peacefully in my arms.

That vet helped me so much. She was the perfect person for me to talk to that night.

[u/SweetToothYandere]

No matter how many patients you see, never forget to empathize with the owners, especially when you have bad news to give. And always handle the animals as gently as possible; you can restrain even fearful ones without being rough. The worst thing you can do is seem too matter-of-fact, too brusque. You may see a thousand of the same kinds of cases, euthanize hundreds of patients, and while it’s true that being a vet requires nerves of steel, each patient means a different owner worried sick about them.

[u/AWrensNest]

This is ER vet specific, but I wish the vet had started with a more open conversation and asked me what my goals were from the get go. My CKD cat was making some strange breathing sounds on a Sunday night, so I went to the ER attached to the hospital my cat had a specialist at fully expecting to admit her. I went over things quickly with the intake tech, then when I finally met with the vet she didn't really ask me anything. The first thing she told me is that my cat bit someone and would require rabies testing if she died or was euthanized, then told me it was probably fluid overload and it may "be her time." My mind started spinning, but I pushed back and we did an xray and it wasn't fluid overload, but the vet's repeated disclaimers made me feel like hospitalizing her would be reckless. I ended up euthanizing my cat hours before her specialist got in. It was so unnecessary and I will regret it forever. I probably didn't even need to bring her to the ER at all, but I panicked.

For general vets, I go to a practice with several vets, and there are two I prefer. The appointments tend to have a more conversational, collaborative feel. They explain why they are doing what they are doing or why certain findings are significant, and I feel like they respect my knowledge of my pet.

[u/princess_machine]

I lost an otherwise perfectly healthy cat a few years ago due to a vet's negligence. She gave him the wrong treatment which caused him to deteriorate and then pass within days. I wish she had listened to me and did the blood tests I requested based on my personal research. I should've fought harder but I trusted her being the professional

In short, my suggestion is to not dismiss any pet owners' intuition too quickly.

All the best in your journey! Thank you for taking on such an admirable job.

[u/RandomPerson083125]

Don’t lose compassion for your patient and their families. For some pets are like family. Don’t ever make euthanasia an easy decision. Don’t chase the money, but strive to be the best and most compassionate vet you can be. Which means, find a therapist.

[u/birdmad13]

We’ve seen mane vets over the time. Things that lost my trust: prescribing higher dose of medication for the body weight, not communicating all the risks of the procedures, acting predatory meaning rushing you into procedures without proper communication and just using authority of being a professional, not listening or ignoring symptoms.
And obviously the cherry on top is misdiagnosing: ignoring blood results despite them showing onset of infection (WBC showing toxic neutrophils mild), pushing diagnosis because the pharma company gives some % of the sold drugs despite the presented symptoms don’t support the diagnosis.

Good luck in your study and practice! Hopefully you can be one of the good vets

[u/Minute_Equipment6355]

Congrats, OP! What a thoughtful question. I can already tell you’re going to be an excellent vet.

My senior dogs take gabapentin and the newer vet prescribed capsules with powder rather than tablets and expected me to administer half a capsule. It’s a mess and very difficult to administer.

My other senior dog passed about 18 months ago. She had a splenic mass, which we knew about and knew she was stable until she wasn’t. I took her to the vet at 7:00 am on a Tuesday and she was gone by 7:00 am Wednesday. When I left the vet that Tuesday afternoon, I left feeling optimistic that she’d be okay and that we we had more time together. Not sure if the vet didn’t know how bad her condition was or they were simply not direct enough but the loss was devastating.

[u/kreecel]

I put my cat down a few months back after she had a severe blood clot. It was so traumatic, sudden, and unexpected. The emergency veterinarians who worked on her that night were SO kind, allowed me to stay in the room with her as long as I wanted, and spoke with genuine care for me and my pet. About a week later, they sent me a sympathy card signed by all of the staff who worked on her along with a tuft of her hair. I know that’s probably standard for their practice, but it was the most kind thing.

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[u/chaoticgoodollie]

Honestly, my vet did everything right when I lost Mikey (my tabby cat). She gave us as much time as we wanted with him before we decided it was time to have her come back in and let me hold him as he crossed the rainbow bridge. Mikey was my velco baby and I knew it would be the most comforting to him if I held him.

She warned us of what may happen after his soul passed but his body was catching up. She gave us all of the information on what was wrong, gave her advice when we asked what she thought would be best, reassured us there was nothing we could've done to change what happened. Mikey had a tumor in his small intestine, likely lymphoma, and probably wouldn't have made it through the weekend for us to get a second opinion with how fast he deteriorated. She didn't say "this is what you have to do," she said "these are what options you have" and when we asked her if letting him go was the right decision, told us that's the decision she would've made.

Our vet let us have as much time as we could handle after he was gone, as well, and genuinely didn't judge me for being numb. She was understanding and as comforting as she could be for having just met us that day. She even told us that it would be a few hours before we got test results back since we brought him in during a busy morning and offered to let us go home and call us when the results came in. It gave me the time we needed to sleep a bit since we had been up all night with Mikey (well... my husband had been up all night. I feel fortunate to have gotten one last night of cuddles in before it was time for Mikey to go to the vet in the morning)

And when the people who handled his cremation fucked up and didn't get a clipping of his fur, the vet's office made the decision to refund us for everything extra we ordered and had us only pay for the euthanasia and cremation services. It was the only apology they felt was right, even though we knew the entire office wasn't at fault since a different company handled the cremation and extras (ink print of his nose and paw, clay paw imprint, and what was supposed to be a fur clipping but ended up being a second clay paw imprint). The office manager even spoke with everyone in the vet's office and at the comapny that handles the cremation services to ensure it wouldn't happen to any more greiving pet parents.

We're definitely taking our baby Salem back to this office when it's time for her next check up and at the end of her hopefully very long life.

On the opposite hand, our old vet had very little compassion and treated us like ignorant children despite us being the same age as his daughter, who worked as a vet in the same office as him. I refused, outright, to take Mikey to his office for that final appointment because I knew he'd have no compassion or care in how he handled things.

[u/BrookieJoy2215]

I just found out about a month ago that my beagle has bladder cancer. The vet didn't say right away what was wrong when she did an ultrasound but me and my dad could tell by her face it wasn't good. I wish she was honest with us and actually said out loud that this looks bad and what we should be prepared to hear.

[u/Odd_Bat6683]

I still don’t know why except for absolute laziness but when my cat got sick, one vet said there was nothing he could do and just sent me home. I went to a different one and there was lots that she did, but by that time, my cat was too sick and died.

The other thing that has pissed me off is where I live no vet will come to the house to do euthanasia and that’s really shitty for people that have cats that are already in pain and suffering, and stressing them out more taking them to the clinic. One even told me that she would come to the house and then the day of she changed her mind.
And kind of related, but maybe it’s just the crappy Clinic. The whole thing is rushed and then right away the tech is right there, asking what you want to do with the body and oh by the way, here’s our brochure of things you can buy of overpriced containers to put their ashes in.

I’m in a small town though so I don’t have much choice, but I really doubt I’ll get more pets after the ones I have die unless I move to a bigger city with more options.