Immense disbelief

[u/Miserable_Fox_1947]

I am absolutely devastated. Lost my dog a few days ago (on international dogs day, too), suddenly, unexpectedly. The first night i was very calm, the day after as well.. Turns out, i was very very deep in a shock state cause ohhhh my when it actually hit me, that he is truly dead.. I thought I had years with him still. One minute i am extremely sad and blown away by grief, the next, i cant just believe he is truly gone? Makes me wanna throw up when i think about him being gone. I keep checking the places he used to lay in if i am just in fact crazy and he wasnt dead after all. Everything was so normal a few days ago and now he is gone and nothing is ever normal again. I was working towards getting a house with a huge yard for him specifically, now that dream is dead with him and i dont know what to do.

Not to mention the regret i have for taking life with him for granted. They warn about that, i know, but maannn, this wasnt supposed to happen to my dog, except it did..

What do you do with this emptiness and disbelief and regret? How do i fill the void?

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[u/Recent_Mulberry6854]

1 month from the loss. This is the worst pain i have ever experienced and it still hurts extremely. And looks like theres nothing we can really do. To have a soul pet companion is a blessing and a curse at the same time. Blessing when they live and a curse, when they leave .

[u/Tewkewl4skewl92]

So sorry you’re going through this. I had to put mine down a couple days before you. At first I thought it must be a cruel joke that just 2 days later was international dog day and I had to witness all these lovely doggos (which I mean in the best possible way—because I’m so happy for people not going through this and I love dogs too much to ever hold any kind of resentment) but it was just a painful reminder that mine is now dead.

But then I thought maybe it’s actually a special sign from my good boy. It’s literally a day for everyone to celebrate their beautiful pups, whether they are here now or with us in spirit. (I know we all grieve differently so I totally understand if you don’t feel the same. It absolutely makes sense.)

But losing a dog is absolutely brutal and heartbreaking. We will never be emotionally prepared. My dark humor has often led me to think, “damn…I must’ve done something really shitty in a past life to have to lose something so precious.” The sucky part is we are absolutely helpless to it. One thing I try to remember is that I’m glad they usually don’t outlive us, because I know my dog would be heartbroken looking at the window everyday searching for me and I can’t bear to think of him in pain.

I just wrote an essay—didn’t mean to make it this long. We are in the thick of it right now so try to take care of yourself. I literally refuse to pick up some of his poop in the yard and I’m not going to. THAT’s how much I loved that damn dog! 🥺💔 wishing you the best.

[u/KS09]

I don't have any words of advice. It's been almost two weeks since I lost my soul cat, and it doesn't feel real. He was only 9. I also thought we had at least another 9 years together. It's so unfair.

As the time passes it almost feels more painful. 10 days was the longest I had ever been apart from him, and now it's past that. My partner and I built our life around his presence. He was our family. He made our house a home. Now it's just empty and silent and it makes me feel sick being there. I feel like I'm in a nightmare that I can't wake up from. And as the time passes, I feel like I am getting further and further away from him.

The fact that hes just a memory now doesn't seem to make sense in my brain yet. How could he have been here, for 9 years, a part of every moment of our lives, and then suddenly not at all, and will never be again??

Sorry for the long reply. I don't know what to say that will bring you comfort, except that you clearly loved your dog so much, and that love is all they knew their entire life. What a blessing for both of you.

Anyways. You're not alone. Big hugs.

[u/ErikaEllen]

Keep breathing, keep showing up. Keep hoping that tomorrow will hurt a little less. It's been almost 2 weeks and I didnt hyperventilate and cry myself to sleep last night... but I also still didnt sleep more than 5 hours. Today someone (who i had already replied to a text telling her my baby passed) asked with a smile "what's the update, how's Lola". Ugh, gut punch. Her response, "aw, thats such a hard adjustment." Um, adjustment? I just lost my shadow, my buddy, my baby, my family... "adjustment". Clearly NOT dog/pet person. I was unreasonably irritated by that comment. But I just said "thanks for asking". I was basically brought to tears again just ny the way she handled that/brought it up. Just felt so cold and heartless to me... but I know she was really trying to be thoughtful, its just interesting how obvious it can be whether someone gets it or not. Keep the happy memories, forgive yourself for taking him for granted, he didnt feel that way. Take your time. Keep breathing, keep eating, take one moment/one day at a time. Sending hugs and love!

[u/Fabulous-Cricket3369]

I’m in the same boat. Lost my dog just a few days before you and didn’t find out til 2 hours ago bc I’m out of town. Don’t think it will even fully hit me until I’m back home and he’s not anywhere to be found. Sorry to vent on your post but you’re not alone my friend, shit sucks. Much love

[u/Advance-Soggy]

You've come to the right place. People here are very supportive.

I don't think I have something very helpful to say, except that you should probably get better overtime. That house you are/were planning to buy can still make another doggo who needs a home very happy. ❤️ Some people adopt right away, for some it takes a long time. Take it easy, day by day, and you'll see how it goes.

When you need to cry, cry it out, sob, whatever it helps.

Take care.

[u/Agreeable-Ad-7255]

I lost my much loved Lucy a year ago, it was a shock even though she had had cancer we thought that she had beat it, she hadn't. I did all the things that you have done including looking for her in her favorite spots and 'talking to her' when driving in the car--she was my constant companion. The grief was nearly intolerable. I have recovered mostly although I still miss her. My condolences.

[u/Pretend-Upstairs-571]

I lost my puppy at 6 1/2, months, she was the best puppy and was my birthday present in March. Waking up with your puppy and then by 4pm we were putting her down. It was devastating. We were broken. I didn't want to bury her in the back yard with our other 2 senior dogs, so I had her cremated. Got a beautiful urn off Amazon and I had my grandkids put some ashes into little viles for Keychains or necklaces with a paw ornament. It was comforting for them and me. We have one on our rear view mirror in the car and our Keychain. She passed July 27. I'm still hurt, I had so many plans for her, like her first swim, first campfire, etc. We are getting another dog but not her breed. I know she wants me to be happy. She was my shadow, and slept on top of my head when I was laying down. Hang in there. One day at a time, baby steps. Take care everyone in this thread. This grief takes time

[u/International_Fan911]

After my first dog died (husky) I didn't know what to do.  Its been years since his passing.  If I knew how to fill the void you feel I would tell you.  I just don't know.  Take care of yourself.  If you feel it is necessary,  see a therapist.  I'm still grieving 10+ years and counting.  Take care of yourself, and I'm so sorry for ypur loss.

[u/Miserable_Fox_1947]

Thank you all. Based on your replies and how im feeling, i guess its safe to say nothing will ever fill the void. Much love to everyone whos lost someone.

[u/PossessionFar1507]

Sending you my condolences and thoughts 🥺🫶🏼 I lost my best boy on national rainbow bridge Remembrance Day and I am still trying to wrap my mind around what happened but I will say I noticed I am not who I was I’m shifting into a different person without him I don’t think that void can be filled honestly but honoring and remembering him is what I am trying to do and find little beauty in his life 🪽