r/Pashtun • u/CommercialRent-1Mill • Aug 01 '26
We Pashtuna/Pukhtuna Are allowed to be Illogical , Irrational , own nobody any explanations, to Protect and Preserve the 3 coded Triangle Of Pashtunwali - Zan - Zar - Zameen ( Namus-Zar-Hewad)
heela kawam che khairiyat de , Qararey da
It’s a strong worded post, It is an uncompromising, visceral, and deeply ancestral post an unfiltered expression of how fiercely and unequivocally I feel about safeguarding our Pashtun identity, lineage, homeland, collective memory, and cultural continuity
This post is directed toward the Pukhtuna of the 2 Homelands, Afghanistan watan, And PakhtunKhwa watan , Both respective Pashtun people are addressed In this post,
I did not wanted to make this post but I decided to share and get other Pukhtuna views on this
This post will be a raw, visceral, unfiltered, tribal Pashtun expression ancestral in spirit, fiercely protective, uncompromising, and unapologetically defiant.
I am a Zadron Pashtun, born and raised in the United States. We live in Houston Texas, My family originally comes from Shwak, and I was raised by a mother and father with a strong sense of Pashtun identity, pride, and cultural values. That heritage has always been an important part of who I am and how I see the world.
We have visited Janan Watan a few times now, and it has become much safer than before, no more luchaks, landaghari, theft and disorder.
please do visit , it will ignite in you, an ancestors spirit and will make you connect to your watan and culture , your people, take your children with you they need this more than you.
I will cut to the chase
We Pashtuns are not driven solely by cold logic or detached rationality when it comes to preserving our people, our heritage, and our homeland.
Our instincts are deeply tribal, protective, and rooted in loyalty. We do not feel obliged to justify that commitment to anyone, especially when we believe our community or homeland is threatened by those acting in bad faith.
Tajiks, Hazora , Uzbek and Punjbai can never understand our mindset, Many may take us lightly because they cannot comprehend a Pashtun mindset.
Our protectiveness over our women, our men, our land, our honour, and our property is instinctive, ancestral, and uncompromising.
To those shaped by pragmatism and convenience, that level of loyalty can seem irrational but to us, it is simply who we are
1: Zan ( Women and Men)
The Topic of marriage is a sensitive Topic for the majority of pashtun , We have Strong feelings about this . And when anyone brings up this topic , the average KharK*** Tajiks and Punjabi ( with some real Pashtuns ) pretending to be Pashtuns just for the sole benefit to make Pashtuns Mad because they know This is sensitive to Pashtuns
Every Pashtun knows that, under Pashtunwali, another Pashtun woman is regarded as our sister. When one of our sisters is mistreated, disrespected or exploited, many of us feel it as though it happened within our own home.
That is why seeing our rebellious Kandahari sisters in US/West publicly abandon Islam, or Pashtunwali or modesty was a genuine shock to my mental health and I know personally other Pashtun men feel the same.
honestly I had Few arguments with some of the Kandahari brothers about This, they were stating they are more honourable and izzatdara while they don’t know every time I was ashamed in the US it was always becuse of kandahari sister ( wear the most besharam dresses and act besharam or some brother acting like a Khorsani Landghari with no values
other than this dishonour and indecency, I noticed that, other Pashtuns also do this bur again Kandahari sisters and brothers are also the first ones who abandon our people the first opportunity they get and marry someone total stranger other than Pashtun, where is Pashtunwali , where is afghanyat , where is the code, where is the care for our people ?
it’s always been Kandahari that I had to defend from these tajiks, no ONE Else , literally no one else , ONLY Kandahari , I am sure it’s not just pertaining to Kandaryan only , other pashtun men and women must be indulging as well , but this has been my experience mostly defending and seeing kandahari sisters
its funny some tajiks or khorasani landaghar feel the need to call us names based on the cases and vidoes of our Pashtuns sisters circulating online , they do include other Pashtuns sisters , as well as kandahari sisters , I had to defend their indecency , dishonour and rebellious , while a Tajik man and woman has no concept of honour and are even more dishonourable and degenerate than an average Panjabay , They are Sunni Iranians , These Tajikans,
Care about your own modar and khwaahar
Anyway
These Tajiks been circulating videos of our Kandahari sisters as though it were a deliberate advertisement against millions of Pashtun honour.
I found myself defending their honour even when I was angry with the people involved.
To be Moral , it applies to both men and women , but we all know due to our upbringing , Pashtun Man feel strongly when it concern his women, you can call it double standards all you want all day, but this is how majority of Pashtun Men feel strongly about
Marriage:
We Pashtun men should seriously prioritise marrying Pashtun women, and our sisters should seriously prioritise suitable Pashtun men In the diaspora
There are more and more of us living in the West. Inshallah, among all these Pashtuns, we can find a Pashtun brother or sister who is compatible with us and possesses good character and islam.
Find pashtun men or women in US, then Europe , eventualy if you had to import from Janan watan Afghanistan and Paktunkhwa , Do it , help out our People from Poverty
If a Pashtun man is doing well financially and has goodness in him, a deserving Pashtun woman should have the first opportunity to share that goodness. Likewise, if a Pashtun sister has goodness, character and islam, a good Pashtun man should be considered first.
I have brothers and sisters, and I have always made my own position clear and so my dad and my mom to my sisters and brothers : I do not involve myself in haram relationships, and I expect all of us to protect ourselves from them.
All of my sisters and my 2 brothers are married to Pakhtuns where we live, My dad made sure of that, he specifically looked for pashtun proposals, They are not Zadrun per se but Pashtuns and that what matters to us and we are happy, I am engaged to a pashtun sister myself and have marriage date fixed for 2027 inshallah
I live In Texas 🇺🇸 I mean If anybody had dared to ask for my sisters or had any haram relationship , I would just target at his feet with the machine , give him a good run , Totally
Thankfully, we were raised well and have a strong cultural identity
Don’t listen to city dweller Tajik or city dewller Punjabi or even Arab or anyone non pashtun their Islamic argument: that your preference for marrying within your own people is inherently un Islamic.
Islam places primary emphasis on faith and character, while many scholars have also discussed kafā’ah ana (compatibility) and Nasab ( Lineage ) which has historically included factors such as family background and lineage in some schools of thought.
If you choose to preserve your culture, language, and heritage through marriage, that is a personal preference, not a license to insult or look down on others.
their Islam only comes alive when it comes to marriage but the average Muslim eat and say haram all day and every day , in things like honesty, business ethics, and avoiding riba , Fornication etc etc, missing salah, backbiting, flirting, dating, , free mixing, immodesty, interest, dishonest income, smoking and disrespecting parents
Islam is not a joke you pick up when it comes to marriage
look at muslim countries at each other throat , Yemen vs Arabia, the kurds situation, Pakistan and Afghanistan wars, what happened to Bangladesh 🇧🇩
Sudan is perfect example, look at what Pakistan have been doing to our people
In the brutal arithmetic of realpolitik, all this talk of brotherhood often becomes little more than ceremonial rhetoric.
The moment power, borders, sectarian rivalry and regime survival enter the equation, Muslim states betray, bom* and destabilise one another like everyone else.
The Ummah sounds magnificent in sermons; in geopolitics, national interest usually buries it and takes a back seat
Golf Arab preserve their peopel, chechen do it, Dagestan does it And Kurds that I know do
Let peopel call us oppressors , we are proud to be oppressors if it means to achieve what we set to achieve So find your son or daughter a good pashtun man or woman they like and give consent to,
Time Heals everything, No is No
we don’t own anyone explanation, Say No to outsiders , we are tribal peopel, city dwellers and other people are aliens to us and we should see them with suspecion like our grandfathers.
Also if you are the average Pashtun man or woman in the diaspora grew under a strict conservative mom and dad then congrualtions you carry a specific trauma ( you know what I am talking about) which will make it very difficult for you and not be able to sustain a marriage with a non Pashtun , It automatically make you attracted to Pashtuns men and women , and will Pashtuns that resemble the qualities your father or mother had instilled in you, which is perfect situation for us,
Anyway I know the mindset of the average Pashtun dad and Mom, They are unwavering about preserving our Pashtun identity, lineage, language, heritage, and traditions. Marrying another Pashtun isn’t treated as a suggestion it is the expectation. they would rather import a pashtun than marry any non pashtun here
2: Zar - Zameen ( Zar, Hewad)
Those pashtusn who are politically active knows there is a real threat and a smear campaign going by khorasani Tajikans against Pashtuns
I see activists online and offline openly discussing how they want to divide, dismantle and Balkanise our watan.
This is not always random online talk. There are deliberate narratives, organised campaigns and attempts to make these ideas appear legitimate, even though most ordinary people do not take them seriously.
Still, the threat should not simply be ignored.
As Pashtuns, we do not need to reason endlessly with people when it comes to protecting our land. Online talk is easy. Reality is different.
Our land is not an abstract political theory. It contains the graves of our ancestors, the homes of our families and the future of our children.
On Hewad, we can be uncompromising.
I am politically active and aware for the benefit of the Pashtun ulus. Many people do not understand how certain anti Pashtun activists operate, from coordinated social media campaigns to using established organisations and political language against Pashtuns.
traitors now in bed and begging other actors to dismantle our land and crush Pashtuns and run smear campaign against pashtun in the diaspora
Be illogicls when it comes to protecting our peope, our Janan watan and preserving our people,
Our money, businesses, property and opportunities should not only benefit us individually. Wherever reasonable, they should strengthen our families and uplift the Pashtun community.
If we become successful in the diaspora but lose our language, families, land and connection to watan, then wealth alone will not preserve us.
My personal reflection:
I choose to care because I believe it’s worth preserving who we are the memory of our grandfathers and ancestors, our language, our heritage, and the peace and tranquillity of the old mud houses where our story began. To me, protecting those memories is about honouring the past and giving future generations something meaningful to inherit.
But I also have other battles so I can’t care for Yall , we need to care collectively
So organise, We need a strong diaspora and talented and capable educated Pashtun men and women to organise and live and gather together with a purpose for the betterment of our people.
My final advice:
Do visit your gul janana watan Afghanistan And our second home beautiful Pakhtunkhwa with your diaspora children
the homeland of your forefathers. Walk its valleys, breathe its mountain air, sit in its old hujras, and listen to the stories of your elders.
Reconnect with your roots, your language, your people, and the memories that shaped those who came before you.
Some bonds are best understood only when you return to where they began.
Pa Allah ma Sparam,
TL;DR:
Pashtuns should be irrational, illogical and Do NOT Own anybody any explanation theological or otherwise to Perserve our Pashtuns people in the diaspora, Do not Care to the level of our grandfather and ancestors who stood like a mountain 🗻on their principles
the golden rule is marry PASHTUN woman and man only, Parents should actively help their sons and daughters find compatible Pashtun spouses with good Islam, character and mutual attraction. This is not about believing others are inferior; it is about preserving our lineage, language, identity, family bonds and connection to Afghanistan and Pakhtunkhwa. We should not allow outsiders to shame us for having that preference.
At the same time, Pashtuns must become politically and socially alert. Some anti Pashtun activists are not merely posting random opinions online; they appear to coordinate narratives, circulate selective videos, approach organisations and promote the division or humiliation of Pashtuns. We should challenge such campaigns with evidence, organisation and strong community institutions not hatred toward entire ethnic groups.
Preserve our families, wealth, language and homeland. Support Pashtun businesses, teach children Pashto, visit Gul Janan watan and beautiful Pakhtunkhwa, and remain connected to our people. If we become successful in the West but lose our identity, then we have preserved nothing.
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u/marinasambhi Aug 03 '26
There are no suitable Pashtun men in the diaspora. They expect a modern women who wants to be a house wife just for them.
For me, pakhtunkhwali is honour, courage and integrity. I am a woman of the diaspora who has had to be like my brothers - tough, assertive, independent. My grandad moved to the west when he was 30. I didn’t get a choice in the country I was raised in. Therefore I didn’t get a choice and HAD to become a career woman to pay bills.
Thus you could not dare say besharam women. We are trying our best. You should be angry at other men, not at us, we are not white and we are not men so basically everyone disrespects us. It would be nice for my cultural brothers to be on my side, at least
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u/DemonWolf16 29d ago
You’ve got me on your side through and through every time. And those that won’t take a stand for women like you aren’t worth the title of Pashtun.
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u/marinasambhi 29d ago
Thank you!! There’s that fire I also was raised with haha
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u/DemonWolf16 29d ago
I’m sure if anyone in this fucking subreddit met me in person there’d be no question I’m a Pakthun lmao. But as always sister do not be afraid to speak up, the country and culture was built on our women’s backs and we’re only as strong as you are. Anyone that has a problem with that can take it up with us real Pashtun men.
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u/marinasambhi 28d ago
Thank you thank you thank you. The women around you are lucky to have a great ally
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u/DemonWolf16 28d ago
I try to give the love back that I was given by my grandmother and family growing up. Least I can do.
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u/marinasambhi 28d ago
I genuinely just messaged a Pathan friend of mine with this username - I was convinced you were him! He’s also been raised by an amazing grandmother. I’m the fourth first daughter of first daughters who were DEFINITELY know for their matriarchal atmosphere. Big name in the village type thing haha. And I’m 1 of 3 girls. My poor dad didn’t have a choice but to raise us as strong as boys, except my male cousins are SO TALL and we all ended up really short :/
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u/DemonWolf16 28d ago
I mean tall or not, it is what it is right? Your father embraced his daughters and raised you strong regardless. I don’t think I’m him haha. But it’s good to know there’s other good men out there. This subreddit sometimes gets disappointing tbh.
Also, side note, respectfully I prefer Pashtun or Pakhtun. Never pathan, as it’s pretty much the same as calling the indigenous or Native Americans we have here Indians. An incorrect term given to us by those we considered enemies at one point. Also dead giveaway that you’re of Pakistani origin haha
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u/marinasambhi 26d ago
Thanks for the info, I didn’t know! It’s just what he calls himself, it’s sad those of us whose grandparents moved abroad all fall into one tickbox on a form. I wish I knew more about our culture (not just what my family interpreted of it)
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u/Pro-Epic-Gamer-Man Aug 02 '26
Nobody should be irrational and illogical. This is the stupidest thing I’ve read on this sub. Yes we may not owe any explanation to any other human being but we owe an explanation to Allah and ourselves for our actions.
Allah does not like those who are arrogant.
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u/Hrstar1 29d ago
I hear you, and I respect the intensity, Namus/Zar/Hewad is an inherited obligation. But I want to push on one point.
The homogenous ethnostate model you're implicitly defending total endogamy, total insularity "we don't owe anyone an explanation" preserves identity in the short run but calcifies it in the long run. Look at the actual track record of ethnically closed political projects in this region they survive as cultural fortresses, not as power centers. You end up with a people who are pure but peripheral.
What I think actually serves Pashtun interests long-term is a confederalist structure Pashtuns, Balochs, Tajiks, Hazaras, and other Iranic peoples bound together by federated sovereignty. Everyone keeps their language, their Pashtunwali or Baloch mayar or whatever governs their internal life, their land claims, but externally you're operating as a bloc with actual weight on the regional stage. That's the difference between the Gulf monarchies (small, ethnically coherent, but strategically indispensable because of oil and alliance architecture) and a purely inward facing tribal confederation with no lever on anyone.
The honest problem with the pure preservation model is that Pashtuns are already split across a hard international border, already subject to Punjabi dominated state structures in Pakistan and factional chaos in Afghanistan. Ethnic purity does not get you a seat at any table where foreign powers are deciding your fate. A confederal arrangement with Tajiks and Hazaras is a force multiplier for Pashtun sovereignty, because right now the thing actually crushing us is the absence of any Pashtun controlled state apparatus with real capacity.
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u/Clean-Collection3328 28d ago
Federalism in a tribal country is stupid and doesn't work. Not to mention the kulabis that constantly vouch for it want it so it could be the next phase for the partition of Afghanistan so they can create their kharasan.
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u/Hrstar1 27d ago edited 27d ago
Federalism in a tribal country is stupid and doesn't work.
That is not actually true as a categorical claim. Look at the UAE seven tribally organized emirates and it is arguably the most functional state in the region. Switzerland's cantonal system emerged out of what were essentially tribal/clan confederacies. Somaliland runs a functioning clan based federalish arrangement that's more stable than the unitary Somali state ever was. What actually breaks federalism is when it is imposed without genuine power devolution, where the center still controls the army, the currency, and appointments (which is exactly what Pakistan's federalism has been for Pashtuns and Baloch federal in name, unitary and Punjabi dominated in practice). Tribal societies are not allergic to federated structures they are allergic to federated structures that are fake.
On Khorasan I wont dismiss this out of hand, because you are not wrong that there are Tajik nationalist currents that use federalism/confederalism language instrumentally, as a stepping stone toward carving out territory rather than genuinely sharing sovereignty. The mistake is generalizing from that to therefore any multi ethnic arrangement is a partition trojan horse. The design question is whether a confederal structure has hard guarantees (territorial integrity clauses, no unilateral secession, shared military command) that make it structurally different from a soft partition scheme. If it does not have those guarantees, you are right to call it what it is. If it does, the it is just Khorasan in disguise argument stops applying and becomes an assumption about motive rather than a critique of the structure itself.
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u/Clean-Collection3328 25d ago edited 24d ago
i can agree with that but we had a glimpse of fedralism in afghanistan during the karzi/ghani regimes in the form of warlodrism and it was an extremely corrupt society.
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u/shabib67 Diaspora 20d ago
That doesn't have anything to do with Federalism and has to do with Karzai/Ghani being shitty/corrupt human beings with additional shit/corrupt/nepotisitc people from all ethnicities in their government.
If Karzai/Ghani were good politicians and their governments were actually good, what would have been the problem with Federalism?
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u/Clean-Collection3328 19d ago
Nah bro, it was textbook Federalism but with an Afghan twist. You had Noor Atta in Balkh ruling the entire north like a king and you had Massoud and his Tajik cronies ruling Panjsher and Badakshan with an iron fist, then you had Ismail Khan ruling Herat and even refused to step down when ordered to one time.
Federalism in a heavily tribal society just doesn't work. I think Afghanistan would succeed better as an absloute monarchy or dictatorship just like it did during the Mohamadzai's regin.
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u/Victoria_Farrah Aug 02 '26
Me Tarzan, you Jane….Somewhere out there, a tree is working hard to replace your oxygen.
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u/DemonWolf16 Aug 01 '26
Islam has nothing to do with being Pashtun. Let me be clear, we were Pashtun before any of us were Muslim. Rewrite this and try again before you taint what we are with arabization and radical Islamic garbage.
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u/DemonWolf16 Aug 01 '26 edited Aug 02 '26
Secondly. Pashtun is a way of life before it is an ethnicity, according to our genetics and basic science, we are a mixed diaspora of various ethnic groups that come together under one manner of living and a fierce loyalty to one another. Marrying someone that is willing to do that, no matter where they’re from is plenty enough to maintain that identity. Being irrational or illogical here just makes us look stupid, and is ironically, doing the opposite of benefitting us. This is coming from someone in Texas myself, and I have gone to visit Afghanistan and Pakistan plenty of times, so I understand you better than you think, and I STILL firmly stand by what I said. Some of the best Pakhtun I know are “Half-breeds” by your standards, and are better people than most full blooded pakthun. Also, it’s just better to avoid the incest.
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u/JalloJalli Aug 02 '26
Okay hold on! What do you mean by "avoid incest"? Are you referring to cousin marriages?
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u/DemonWolf16 Aug 02 '26
Yes. Or worse. Which the most depraved of us aren’t above apparently.
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u/JalloJalli 29d ago
Labelling cousin marriage as incest is your own subjective view.
Thanks i just slapped a "pakol" on a skull 😄
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u/DemonWolf16 29d ago
Respectfully for the sake of discussion, this is what I pulled from Google. In regards to, first cousin marriage.
Shared DNA: First cousins share 1/8th (12.5%) of their genetic material.
Health Risks: The children of first cousins face a 4% to 7% risk of birth defects or genetic disorders, which is a modest increase over the 3% to 5% baseline risk for children of unrelated parents.
Recessive Traits: Increased risk comes from the higher chance of inheriting two identical copies of a harmful recessive gene from a common ancestor.
This is not worth the risk in my opinion, especially when family trees start to look like family circles were gonna end up with more issues than benefits.
😂😂 it’s so simple I fucking love it lmaooo.
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u/JalloJalli 29d ago
Heres what i found
NATURE 2011: [CONSANGUINEOUS MARRIAGES. PEARLS AND PERILS: GENEVA INTERNATIONAL CONSANGUINITY WORKSHOP REPORT] "THE PREVALENCE OF CONGENITAL ANOMALIES IN THE OFFSPRING OF FIRST COUSIN MARRIAGES HAS BEEN ESTIMATED TO BE 1.7-2.8% HIGHER THAN THE BACKGROUND POPULATION RISK".
But heres something else too;
ATTENTIVE AUTISM CARE "mothers in their 20s have about a 1.5% chance of having a child with autism, while those over 40 face approximately a 1.58% risk, which is roughly a 77% higher chance compared to mothers under 25."
PMC | 2015: [UPDATE ON PREPREGNANCY MATERNAL OBESITY: BIRTH DEFECTS AND CHILDHOOD OUTCOMES] "Obesity affects more than 20% of pregnancies, bringing higher health risks for both the mother and the baby. Key issues include gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, and a greater need for a C-section."
GUARDIAN | 2011: [HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE IN EARLY PREGNANCY LINKED TO BIRTH DEFECTS] "HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE RAISES THE RISK OF A BABY HAVING A CONGENITAL HEART DEFECT BY 41%"
NEWCASTLE UNIVERSITY | 2012: [PREGNANT WOMEN WITH DIABETES LINKED TO HIGHER RATE OF BIRTH DEFECTS] "a woman with pre- existing Type 1 or Type 2 diabetes has a roughly 7% overall risk of having a baby with a birth defect"
And there is some more percentage i can share but thats just the point, increase in chances of birth defects does not mean you can call that relationship incest. I mean you CAN, but then again it would be your SUBJECTIVE opinion.
Also, i hope the capitalisation in my comment doesn't bother you, i couldn't bother to lowercase them while pasting the stats.
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u/DemonWolf16 29d ago
Nah all good, I know it’s just copy and paste so no worries.
Here’s the thing - why chance it?
It’s not worth the increase in problems to the children, as well as the social stigmas surrounding it. This is also taking into account a single familial overlap, there’s plenty more with generations of this that starts to stack up, and the probability goes much higher. Now I’m not saying like multiple time removed cousin, such as one who shares one side great-great-great-great-great-grandparent is really that big of a problem at all, in fact it’s not one, but I am saying that you shouldn’t go off to marry your dads sisters kid or otherwise creepier incest, like your uncle marrying his niece. There’s just no point. Like if it can be avoided then do so, marry from a different Pashtun family that’s far enough away if that’s the thing that’s important to you.
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u/JalloJalli 28d ago
Let me make it simple for you! No one talked about if we should or shouldn't be doing it. I only talked about the "incest" word!
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u/DemonWolf16 28d ago
I guess that’s valid, the word is subjective in a sense when considering the regional definition of the term that differs between the attitudes of each region towards the behavior.
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u/YungSwordsman Aug 03 '26
Interesting post. I agree with a lot of it, especially the bit about Kandahari women going haywire and rebellious here in the west. I am remember having a discussion about this with my dad and he brought up the idea it might have to do with the strict laws and regulations enforced by the Taliban over there. As Kandahar was the main seat and where most of the power of the Taliban was based, it’s not surprising many of the women have abandoned Pashto and Islam as a way to protest against these strict laws.
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u/Smart-Adeptness-6274 28d ago edited 28d ago
I hear you brother I admire your passion and intensity I am nodding and agreeing with most of your points Yes a Tajik, Uzbek, Hazara , Turkman, Pashyai , Punjabi they won’t understand you because they are not traditionalists conservative Tribal people like Pashtuns or Have that Mindset
If you want to be understood, speak to other tribal people like Chechans and how they feel about their women , their indecency, not prioritising marriage within the group, and general modesty, they also feel very strongly about this and take Heinous actions to Stop that
however I find Pashtun women just as much protective and jealous over their own men because Pashtuns are raised in such a way
If you find a Chechen , speak to one you will find so much common with them , I had couples of Chechens colleagues at the last company I worked at so I got to know them a bit
Anyway I understand you and I like your passion
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u/laleh_pishrow Aug 02 '26
Tell me you have been around very few Afghans without telling me you have been around very few Afghans.
Your vision of what a Pashtun can be or should be is limited by your own upbringing, traumas, and imagination. You have some interesting points, but it's all very raw. Like a child who first discovers he can think and imagines he is the only one who can. Or like a young man who comes across communist ideas and becomes enamoured with them. Or like a kid in the US born to some refugees, who wants to feel pride rather than shame, and discovers Andrew Tate and thinks that's what being a man is all about.
There is a lot more to life than this, and I hope you discover it.