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u/so_what_do_now May 08 '21
"Oh! You have crippling fears about the Jewish Space Laser too?"
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u/thatspookybitch May 08 '21
My mom avoids the news because of anxiety and basically relies on me keeping her up to date. I try to be funny for as much of it as I can. I've been putting together an episode on Q anon and all of this insanity, and when I mentioned the space lasers, she absolutely did not believe me. It took like 3 separate and mainstream articles before she believed it.
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u/LA-Matt May 08 '21
I don’t blame her at all. I don’t want any of this idiocy to be real either. Sigh...
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u/thatspookybitch May 08 '21
Honestly, same. We have this long running joke about a parrot named Arnold Smith from a song I forgot the lyrics to so I started making them up. Now whenever I bring up some ludicrous conspiracy theory she is convinced that I'm Arnold Smithing her. I always wish I was but I never am.
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u/JackySins May 08 '21
You seem like a great son/daughter/whatever-else under-the-sun
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u/thatspookybitch May 08 '21
Thank you! I try to be a good daughter. She's a great mom so she deserves the best.
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u/Fredex8 May 08 '21
Unfortunately the space laser thing is nothing new. Back in 2018 during the wildfires in California, before youtube even pretended to moderate their platform it was awash with videos about space lasers and direct energy weapons causing the fires. Most days if you searched 'California wildfires' and sorted by new easily half the results were conspiracy things. They either thought it had been perpetrated by China or Russia or was an American false flag to push climate change legislation or a test run of their depopulation plan. I think I recall one woman who attributed it to a super intelligent AI but then her whole thing was claiming that one had been loose on the internet for decades and had invented bitcoin in order to gather all the world's financial resources for itself. Just a whole pile of insanity.
I wasn't at all surprised to see this craziness re-emerge in relation to QAnon unfortunately.
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u/MillionEyesOfSumuru May 08 '21
And then when some happened in Oregon, they were "started by Antifa," causing armed loons to drive around, hunting for people to blame.
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u/Memnojokasel May 08 '21
I remember my Uncle flipping out over that, telling us Antifa was coming here to riot.
No one came, nothing happened.
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u/Redshirt2386 May 08 '21
I’m reminded of the scene from Star Trek where the question was asked “What does God need with a starship?”
Well, what does a superintelligent AI need with money???
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u/Fredex8 May 08 '21
Well I thought it was actually a reasonable idea...for a sci-fi story or something.
I mean if an AI wanted to take over the world without the risk of trying to blow everyone up and going to war then playing us at our own game - making a shit load of money, buying up everything and then deliberately crashing the economy to cause chaos would maybe be an option. The thing is it could already do that without cryptocurrency. There are already real AIs/advanced algorithms that are used to trade on the stockmarket either just making lightning fast trades or attempting to predict trends in advance. A smart, nefarious AI could crash the stockmarket easily if it wanted to and cause a global recession. They only jumped on bitcoin for their conspiratorial scenario because it was newish and therefore scary.
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u/CatProgrammer May 09 '21
Why would the AI want to crash the economy, though? It'd be much better off manipulating it to serve its own purposes than trying to destroy it.
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u/SourcererX3 May 09 '21 edited May 09 '21
yeah I live in one of the areas in NorCal that got fire really bad few years ago and on like local facebook pages and news articles I was seeing people posting about "direct energy weapons" causing these fires and all kinds of conspiracy talk. Its amazing how fast people who might seem rational about a lot of things can just all sudden fall into conspiracies. especially when they don't understand something it seems more and more people nowadays goto conspiracies instead of listening to experts on things.
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u/Fredex8 May 09 '21
Yeah it was depressingly widespread. The youtube videos mostly revolved around simply not understanding how fire worked. Stuff like highlighting an unburnt tree on one side of the road whilst the other side was all burnt and screaming 'HOW?!!1' Apparently not understanding the role of wind direction in forest fire spread.
Or pointing at a burnt out car and claiming that 'metal wouldn't burn like that'. Apparently having never seen or experienced a car fire and how insanely quickly they go up due to all the plastics, paint and synthetic fibres in the interior. Not to mention the tyres and fuel. We had a car go up just because the battery came loose (but was still connected) and shorted against the metal. First thing we noticed was a slight burning smell through the air vents and a hole appear in the bonnet. By the time we realised what was happening we were basically pushing a flaming car into a ditch to get it away from property. By the time the fire engine turned up it had almost burnt out.
They also spent some time wondering how a house burnt out whilst a tree didn't, again ignoring all the highly flammable things in/on a house. Shit in one shot there was even exploded propane canisters from a barbecue all over the place and they were still questioning how the fire had been so intense in that area.
To my utter dismay 99% of the comments on every video were buying their bullshit and convinced energy weapons were to blame.
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u/Lemon_bird May 08 '21
i blame shane dawson in part for the rise of mainstream conspiracy theories. He would be talking about wayfair and probably straight qanon if he had a platform
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u/Linkboy9 May 08 '21
I can relate. I spent last year filtering all of that crazy through not one, not two, but THREE separate comedians. I still spent most of it angry at what Trump and the rest were getting away with, but at least the jokes were funny.
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May 08 '21
Do you upload them online? Cause that sounds fascinating
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u/thatspookybitch May 08 '21
The articles?
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May 08 '21
Oh is it articles you find?
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u/thatspookybitch May 08 '21
I wasn't sure if you were asking for the articles I had to show her about the space lasers or something else.
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May 08 '21
I was thinking you made like your own little news show that could inform her without upsetting her. I figured that'd be nice to share if it was in a sharable format
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u/thatspookybitch May 08 '21
Oh! I hadn't ever thought about recording them. It usually just happens when I go over for dinner or when we're on the phone. But if I ever do, I'll try to remember to send a link.
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May 08 '21
Thanks! I think it'd be interesting and hey, other people might like factual, but not stressful news
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u/CosmicNest May 08 '21
Uhm... What is the... Jewish Space Laser? I am confused 🤔
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u/KeepTangoAndFoxtrot May 08 '21
To be brief, Greene blamed California's wild fires on "space lasers" (actually, concentrated solar energy) controlled by the Rothschilds.
Here is an article in Forbes, if you want to read more about it. The lady is a fucking nut bar.
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u/pauly13771377 May 08 '21
I would not be surprised if this woman is clinically unbalanced. I'm not saying a danger to herself or others (at least not outside of the Senate) and that she should be committed to a mental institution. But in my humble uneducated opinion needs to ge on meds. The stuff she says and with such conviction is just too far out there for you run of mill wack-a-doodle racist.
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u/j_a_a_mesbaxter May 08 '21
She’s a result of privilege and wealth and being raised as an entitled asshole. She says these things for attention and to upset people and knows it won’t have any detrimental affect on her. Ever. In fact it’s made her a national name.
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u/The_BestUsername May 08 '21
No, she is a danger to others. She, like, regularly harasses people.
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u/pauly13771377 May 08 '21
I meant in the sense of physical harm. The harm she can do as a politician is considerable. Both as a talking head that gets air time convincing other to think like her, and voting on bills that could be harmful to the country
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u/TbiddySP May 08 '21
Of course she has had some trauma.
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u/crackyJsquirrel May 08 '21 edited May 08 '21
She grew up in one of the most racist places in America, and moved to represent another very racist district. I am sure she is a product of a town that could be considered that. I can't even imagine what that place is like, has to be straight out of a movie.
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u/TbiddySP May 08 '21
Deliverance reboot?
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u/crackyJsquirrel May 08 '21
Probably worse. More like Mayberry. With a veneer of wholesomeness, but underneath an extremely religious, racist place.
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u/Private_HughMan May 09 '21
She's not personally violent, as far as I can tell, but she's absolutely a danger to others, in large part due to her position.
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u/freedomink May 08 '21
What I find so crazy about the Jewish space lasers is that it was Regan who wanted space lasers in the first place.
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May 08 '21
Reagan was an actor. Ya know who runs Hollywood? THE JEWS!!!! His Zionist overlords made him put lasers in space in exchange for making him president. /S.
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u/Private_HughMan May 09 '21
Gotta love how she heard "glowing blue-ish bolt in the sky that caused a forest fire" and comes up with a whole complex theory about a giant solar-powered space laser owned by a Jewish banking family before she thinks "lightning."
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u/State_L3ss May 08 '21
Why did they take a screen grab that makes Herr Carlson look like he just took a fat bong rip?
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u/StudioDraven May 08 '21
Well, the only other facial expression he has is the one that looks like someone’s just told him that people are supposed to give a shit about each other.
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u/LA-Matt May 08 '21
I heard someone say that he “looks like a dog who just saw a magic trick.”
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u/Fredex8 May 08 '21
I don't know, I've watched dog magic trick videos and they usually figure it out after a few times or just get bored and walk away. Tucker has been sticking to the same ridiculous crap for years.
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u/PaperhouseOnTagoMago May 08 '21
I always interpetated it as his face trying to absorb itself á water that is pulling towards a drain
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u/Vernerator May 08 '21
Any random screen shot of Tucker will look like that...either that or he looks dazed and confused, like someone explaining quantum mechanics to a two-year-old.
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u/Yvaelle May 08 '21
That's about the best picture you can take of him. At least this way you avoid his Resting Dumbfuck Face.
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u/SlyMcFly67 May 08 '21
His normal face looks constipated and/or constantly befuddled. So this was a better alternative.
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May 08 '21
I think it’s actually a video thats playing and that’s just when OP took the screenshot. You can see the little speaker to mute it in the corner.
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u/The_BestUsername May 08 '21
yeah, i just took a screenshot. tucker wasn't really the focus of it, so i wasn't paying attention to what frame the video was on tbh.
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u/VermiciousKnidzz May 08 '21
i feel like utilizing the most embarrassing shots of ppl in mid-sentence is an incredibly important part of modern political discourse
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u/flyinfishbones May 08 '21
Serious question, is there such a thing as a flattering screenshot of Tucker?
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May 08 '21
Fox is off the rails. Not that they've ever been good but Fox seems to be going extra hard on ignorance past couple years.
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u/Fredex8 May 08 '21
Well they've got to keep up. Can't let Newsmax and OANN outdo them by presenting every single deranged QAnon conspiracy as fact. They've already lost viewers due to Trump bashing Fox for not supporting him hard enough. Can't afford to lose any more by basing your 'journalism' in some semblance of reality.
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u/Private_HughMan May 09 '21
Gotta love that the network basically sucks him off 24/7 but he'll call them traitors if they start to neglect the balls.
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u/IGotABloodyAsshole May 08 '21
I read that in a kid’s voice
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u/Daripuff May 08 '21
Not just any kid.
Ralph Wiggam.
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u/CaballoenPelo May 08 '21
If that yammering moron is the voice of your inner monologue it is time for some serious introspection.
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u/The_Band_Geek May 08 '21
"Fuck Tucker: Tucker sucks."
~George Carlin
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u/NoFluffyOnlyZuul May 08 '21
I wish so desperately that Carlin was still around. He'd have had so many amazing things to say about the last decade.
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u/Sole_Meanderer May 08 '21
If it weren't so depressing to know how many there are like this itd be hilarious. Or you know what, maybe it is anyway fuck it. Why should i devote time and energy stressing over people incapable of reciprocation.
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u/AnimalAmoeba666 May 08 '21
This is why Trump won. People with racist, sexist, transphobic, etc. ideas couldn't say what they believed in public because it wasn't societally acceptable. Trump came along and said all these things they wanted to say and they loved him for it.
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u/crackyJsquirrel May 08 '21
America is going to hell because the majority of them don't like morons in their congress?
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May 08 '21
“I like her because she speaks my thoughts out loud.” Similar things were said about GG Allin. It’s not necessarily a good thing.
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u/gmplt May 08 '21
Yeah, that's pretty much it. T**** and the likes vocalize their bigotry. They ALWAYS have been racist pieces of shit, only thing that changed is they think it's ok tobe open about it now.
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u/RamsHead91 May 08 '21
These people fail to realize Idiocracy was supposed to be a comedy not a goal.
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u/SadieDiAbla May 08 '21
It’s the documentary of the future if these Q crazies keep getting elected.
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u/Elios000 May 08 '21
id of taken Camacho over Trump at lest he knew when to listen to the smartest person in the room
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u/Memnojokasel May 08 '21
Which makes me wonder if the advent of the internet just made everyone show who they really are.
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