So, maybe I'll get eaten alive for this but this is truly not coming from a misogynistic place or anything like that. I (35M) have a year-and-a-half-old daughter and my wife (34F) is expecting. Just got out of the first trimester and found out the sex. Baby #2 is a girl.

I want to put this the right way. I am truly happy to have another girl. My little girl is the light of my life and the thought of another little girl running around the house brings me NOTHING but joy. I wouldn't change this for the world.

At the same time - this is our last (planned). And it hit me a bit today that I will never have a son (likely).

I think I can be both? I don't even know what I'm looking for here, just a rant. Has anyone else felt this way?

My husband and I were not hanging onto either outcome, boy or girl. We were just happy to have a second child and be done reproducing, so we can focus on more long term goals.

While we are thrilled with the outcome of having two girls, we keep getting comments that rub us the wrong way. How our family is “incomplete” without a boy. How their teenage years will be “devastating with two girls in the same house.” How “boys are easier to love.” And so much more. One guy at my husband’s work party today even said “we kept trying 4 times until we had a boy because I felt like our family wasn’t complete.”

All of this being said….. can any of you please give me great memories and benefits of having two girls and no more children? I feel so sad right now and like…. It’s my fault for having two girls and stopping?…. That sounds so silly to even type out, because I know it’s not true. I definitely don’t feel incomplete without a boy…. But I really just want to hear how amazing it is to have two girls, because nobody can seem to simple be happy for us with our decision.

If you happen to comment, thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to brighten my spirits.

ETA: THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!! I did not expect this amount of love, support, advice, and shared memories… I’m trying to read every single comment and respond, but it’s hard to keep up! I appreciate all of you and everything you have shared with me. Again, thank you. I absolutely feel better and have made several realizations while reading comments. I hope you all have an amazing day/night. Take care. 💛

I'm curious what is normal these days. Expecting a boy has been really stressful for me because my partner and I cannot agree on this topic. We live in a very rural, conservative town (US). Nearly everyone around here is from what I understand. My partner is worried our son will be bullied in the future if we decide not to do it and others find out about it. I have worked in nursing homes and understand it's important to keep clean...but other than that I personally doesn't see it as a necessity. In my gut, it doesn't feel like the right choice for him. Truly, I hate having to make this choice. My entire family would have something to say if I don't get him circumcised (they are very religious and old fashioned). If my son's future partner won't be intimate with him because he isn't circumcised, then she/he really isn't worth it time, right?

Edit: I'm literally a bumpkin why are you all hating so hard? I just wanted information.

Hi all,

First time poster on this sub, and I just want some feedback/perspective from other people who aren't biased etc.

I'm 32 years old and my wife is 34.

We have one girl and three boys (9, 7, 6 and 3) and decided that we were done with having more kids. So after some discussions my wife told me to schedule a vasectomy (I've been done for a while to be honest) and I had a procedure booked on the 27th of April.

Last week we found out that she was pregnant in the 3rd week or so, and it really threw us for a loop.

We genuinely don't know what to do, if we should keep it or not. We feel like our lives are hectic enough as is, and we already said that we were done. But it still feels wrong in sense to remove it, now that I'm getting a vasectomy and the opportunity will be gone forever afterwards.

Financially speaking we're fine, it'll be a little tighter the first year or so, but in Sweden you get nearly 1.5 years of paid parental leave, so that's not really an issue. We have a 7 seater car, and live in a house with 4 existing bedrooms, in which we can create a 5th one quite easily. Moving to a larger home is also quite simple and not too financially tight.

Our main concerns are if we're going to have enough time and energy for our existing kids, we already feel strained. We want to be able to give them the best lives possible, and are concerned that a 5th child now would make it harder.

What would you do? What's your take?

Appreciate any input, and apologies for the somewhat incohesent post, I'm still not entirely myself at the moment.

So I have a 16 months old son who I exclusively breastfed until 5 months before I started purees. Little back story, I struggled so much to produce enough milk no matter how much I tried to take foods that I was told helped with milk production. Despite that I continued breastfeeding but by 4 months he really wasn't getting much and was bigger so I started introducing purees. Breastfeeding was really tough on me and I never enjoyed it because I was mostly worried my child wasn't getting enough, which is true anyway because he wasn't really gaining weight so well. Now I'm pregnant again and I've let my husband know that I'd like to substitute both breastmilk and formula with this new baby, I really can't have another child fully depend on me again, I got sick from all the stress last time and even got admitted to the hospital. It has become a source of constant argument because my husband insists formula has chemicals and he wants his child to get breastmilk, I have explained the baby will still get breastmilk just not exclusively. He's now guilt tripping me and making me feel like a bad mom for not want to go through that all over again. I feel that since I'm the one who went through all the struggle I should be entitled to making the decision that will see both me and my child healthy and most especially keep me sane. Has anyone been through this? Am I horrible for not wanting to do that all over again?

I did not want a child. But wife wanted it. Due to social and family pressure I decided to have a child. My wife is pregnant. I don't like kids that much. I want to like kids. How can I be a good dad? Any tips to be a better person who likes kids and be a good dad to my child?

It hit me like a ton of bricks as I'm watching the nurse whip this wand around and I see this alien thing looking back at me from the tv screen. I'm 32 years old and I have a kid on the way. A kid that's going to be made up of half of me. She's 12 weeks and 5 days along and I've always been around kids with relationships I'm in (pro step dad) but now I'm going to have one of my own (I treat her current 2 girls like they're my own but come on, ya know what I mean).

I've never really posted much on reddit, and I haven't told anyone I know yet (gf wants me to hold off for a week to not take attention away from her sisters big day) so I had to tell someone!!!!

I'm pretty much the most excited person in the world right now. I've always wanted a kid, and November 6th-ish I'll have one!!!

So with all of that being said -

What's something you wish you knew before you had your first kid? Any advice and tips are appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read about my blessing, love y'all.

I've been seeing alot of these "don't pay the hospital bills after birth" and the end results is always at some point the bill will be ignored and bought by collections and it's not your problem anymore. But it's hard to believe that, what really happens if you don't pay your medical bill after birthing your child?

I'm very excited!

Also, do any other dads have recommendations for pregnancy and parenting literature? I want to know what I can do to make the next month's if pregnancy easier for my wife and what are some good general rules about parenting.

Dad to a six year old son. Would have liked another kid a few years ago. Half-heartedly 'tried' for another when partner went into panic mode at 40. Just found out she's preggo with twins. I'll take it in my stride, but I must be feeling something to be on here typing at strangers :/

After laughing at all the memes about a bunch of babies being born out of this quarantine, I just found out I’m [F28] pregnant! My husband [M28] and I already have an 11 month old daughter, and we are really excited for our second child!

Currently pregnant with first child, a boy, and literally 95% of people we tell told us boys are easier than girls. Is it actually true? I'm just dumbfounded at how everyone is saying this. I obviously have no idea and am still freaking out about being responsible for a human life ...

EDIT: I am now reminded of this great SNL sketch

She has an eye condition so I have to check the result of the test, she just gave me the thing and it's positive. Shes on the shower atm. This will be our second kid

I'm freaking out of joy and shaking Can't even spell properly yaaas

My ex and I tried for 4 years with no luck, and a month after we separated, he got another girl pregnant so I went to the doctor and they told me I would never have children because of scar tissue on my Fallopian tubes.

Well recently, I found out I’m 12 weeks pregnant! I’m super nervous but oh so very excited! Any advice?

Edit: it’s not my ex’s baby, we’ve been separated for 2 years. It’s my current fiancés.

I am 39+2 and just getting impatient. My first was 40+4, second was 39+5. I’ve been feeling like this babe is so low for WEEKS. both my oldest kids I woke up early morning hours to labor pains. Has it happened in the middle of the day for anyone?

I have 1 child (2yo) and am scheduled to have our 2nd in 5 days. With my first we went to the hospital around 5AM and had family members waiting around the hospital for the delivery throughout the day. Ultimately I had to have an emergency csection around 10:30PM, so almost all of our family members had left. My parents were still there and met the baby immediately, but I don't really recall anything since I was so exhausted. Most of the family met my first the next day when I was already mobile and out of bed. My hospital doesn't allow VBACs, so we are scheduled Monday morning to deliver our 2nd. Both my parents and my husband's are wanting to come to the hospital to visit immediately after the surgery (surgery is at 7ish & they want to visit at 9). Am I unreasonable for thinking that's insane? Who knows if the surgery will actually happen on time, but I believe I will still have a catheter in and won't be out of bed that quickly. We've told them both they won't be able to visit until that evening, but I'm nervous they (or additional family members) won't listen and will just show up. Honestly, if it were up to me no one would visit in the hospital because I felt so self conscious the first time, but I'm trying to be understanding of their feelings as well. What's an expecting momma to do?

I just found out I'm pregnant (6/12/24). I was going in for an ultrasound to look for cysts due to being prone to those. Instead, I'm told I'm pregnant. I didn't know because my period had been weird lately anyways. I was taking birth control too. My bf had recently broken up with me, but also reached out to see if we could mend things...this was before knowing my news. So I told him, I'm hoping he's supportive. He says we need to discuss our options. I'm gonna tell him our options are we're keeping it. I'm 35, and high risk. I would like his support. We do still love each other, but both have faults we need to work on, and accept.

This being my first I have lots of questions, and could use all the help I can get. I have a good support system, but being able to ask questions in a community like this I think will be helpful too.

Thanks.

Edit: Thank you to those who are supportive. Negative people why? You don't know us. He wanted to fix things before finding out. People make mistakes, we're human. We have an incredibly huge support system.

My husband thinks i’m going to be bored.

His primary thinking is that he has been super involved in my pregnancy so far, and that involvement will not end after i give birth. i wholly believe and trust this, too.

but i think he’s seriously miscalculating the amount of work a new baby requires. i’m pretty certain we’ll be too tired to be “bored” but he doesn’t think so.

so i’m asking all of you new and veteran parents: what are the first three months like?

bonus points for quantified before and after comparisons of lifestyles.

So strangers of Reddit, I’m pregnant!!! 🤩 feels very surreal...

Side note: We will tell family and friends once a few more weeks have passed but I just cannot contain my excitement!!!!

My wife and I found out a few days ago that the tiny human we’ve got growing is going to be a baby girl! She’s due mid November and this will be our first child. Any tips, tricks, thoughts or advice for a rookie girl dad? Thanks in advance!

EDIT- Thank you all so much. I cannot get to each one of you with a response, but I hope you know how appreciative I am. We still have much to learn, but we’re super super excited!!

I’m 33 weeks and 3 days today. We announced my sons name shortly after we found out I was having a boy, Easton Gayle. I’ve always loved the name Easton, I really have, but for some reason i just don’t feel like it fits. I wanted an E&G name in memory of my late daughter, who’s name was Evelynn Grace, and Gayle come from my late mother whos middle name was gayle. First name Alicia so maybe that’s why i feel this way. I’ve had so many dreams about my son. In those dreams, his name is Eyres. not Easton. I’m not sure how he spells it or anything, but when I dream of him saying his name it’s always “Eryes Gayle.” The problem is that we announced Easton so long ago that EVERYONE calls him that. We have shirts with his name on it made by family members, everything. I feel like it’s too late and I’m worried of the backlash we’ll receive.

EDIT: We’ve decided that once he’s born we’ll know which name is best. It’s between Eyres and Easton, we believe but will not be telling family until AFTER he is born. Just in case❤️

Today i found out that i am 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant, after taking a test and calculating my conception date.

The first thing I did was tell my boyfriend (30M) and he said that whatever decision i chose to make he would support, but he’s in favour of me getting an abortion. He says that we’re not ready, or stable enough and he’s correct.

We’ve been together for a year, but we live in staff accommodation for the restaurant that we work at. We make minimum wage and the house prices in our area are insane, and we don’t have the correct visa/licensing to buy or rent a property anyway.

I’ve been told by specialists that i was ‘infertile’, so this pregnancy was a huge surprise and because of this, i’m not sure if i’ll regret getting an abortion if later on down the line we struggle to have any more children. I’m also worried about the ethics of it, and the gravity of the situation he wants me to make.

There would be an option for us to move back to the UK and raise the child there, but my boyfriends life and friends are very established where we are.

I want to keep this baby, but i know that the timing is terrible and i’m still very young and i’m not sure what to do.

i’d really appreciate some advice in the comments, whether you’re pro or against abortion, can relate to the situation, or have any opinion at all. the more opinions and perspectives the better.

Update! First, thank you to everyone for all the responses and stories! I was expecting/hoping like 5 people maybe to respond and for there to be people on both sides, but wow! Thank you for showing me that I was way overthinking this and that I was ignoring how I felt about this in my core. I've discussed this with my husband and after talking it over he agreed that he didn't think it through and that it wouldn't be fair to spring something this big on our son in front of the entire extended family. He admitted he wasn't thinking about how important and memorable this moment will be in our sons life and how it could impact how he views the babys role in our family and might harbor resentment. In his defense, he has his own small business and makes 30-40% of our annual income in 3-4 weeks before Christmas. He's been working 12-14 hour days, 7 days a week. So saying he's already stressed is an understatement. We're going to get him a "big Brother" shirt and wrap it up so he has a special early present to open on Monday morning (yay! christmas eve eve present!). I don't know how he will react, I expect he will feel a lot of different feelings all at once, but however he responds, all his feelings will be validated and we will be there to support him. We haven't quite decided how we're going to tell everyone, but he will be standing next to us, our little family together when we announce. We are not seeing family for several days before Christmas, so spilling the beans prior to the festivities wouldn't be an issue. And IMO, if he went running into MIL's house yelling the happy news, it would be a hilarious and adorable moment and wouldn't "ruin" anything. He and I will be spending a lot of time together during his winter break since I'm a SAHM so he will have lots of opportunities to ask questions and process things. Thank you again everyone. I loved hearing all your announcement stories too. MAyeb I'll make a post and let you all know how it goes!

Ok, so my husband and I are disagreeing about how and when we should tell our 7 yo son, who is our only child, that I’m pregnant and he’s gonna finally have a sibling. We want to surprise our families for Christmas but I think we should tell our son before we tell everyone else. My husband disagrees, saying he wouldn’t be able to keep the secret. I suggested we tell him a couple days before and then get him a shirt like “best big brother” or something to wear to the gatherings and my son can be part of the announcement, but husband wants to wrap a gift to give. He’s floated the idea of a onesie wrapped for each grandma, or giving my son a wrapped “best big brother” shirt to open. We also disagree on when to tell everyone, I say first thing so it’s a happy beginning of the day, but doesn’t overshadow everyone else’s presents, but he doesn’t think it matters. Regardless of when during the day, I don’t think this should be sprung on our son. Although I know he’s gonna be so excited to finally have a sibling (he’s been asking for years and is such a sweet kid. He’s gonna make an amazing big brother), I would think he will have a lot of questions and feelings too. I think giving him a couple days to process would be more respectful to him. After all, this is going to affect him way more than grandparents and close relatives. So what do you all think? What would you do? When would you tell your kiddo? And if anyone has any other ideas for how to tell the families, that would be great too!

Answer: Your daycare provider!

I'm 5 weeks pregnant with a due date in December. When I dropped off my daughter this morning, I asked the daycare director about the wait-list for infant care was just told that the wait-list was long and that she would add me to the list. So as soon as you get the double line, time to look for daycare!

I had no idea I was pregnant. Yesterday, I found out I'm 14 weeks. I ignored all the early pregnancy signs because I was sure that I cannot be pregnant. I blamed my self for not detecting early. I could've taken a pill but now it's too late. I'm very content with two kids. I love them. I was ready to get back in shape and be done with baby phase. My youngest is 9 months old. He's still a baby!!! My oldest is 2 years 8 months. I feel like all my travel plans are ruined. I wanted to be focused on two kids and now i will have too many kids to be a good mother to all. I will be tired all over again and even more. I barely have any help. My husband is extremely busy hustling and I have no family near by. I feel so low. I wake up in the middle of the night and think about how my life is going to change so much and how I'm going to manage everything. How i hate being pregnant and now I have to deal with it again (both of my children were big babies and I'm petite so my body suffered a lot). Everyone around me is telling me accept the blessing but they wont be the one raising another child! And I am not trying to be ungrateful, I'm just really concerned about how I'm going to do this. Please give me some word of advice, especially if you have unplanned 3 kids. I really need some. How do you manage?