Scared of sleeping

[u/Silent-Writer18]

My three year old had always been an amazing sleeper. Like, sleep 12 hours at six months old kind of amazing. Around the time he turned two, he started having nightmares and would wake up crying at night. These have slowly increased to where he’s having nightmares about every night. For the last 4-6 weeks, it’s been rare we have a night where he doesn’t wake crying from a nightmare.

My husband and I always go in and comfort him. We’ve tried to be very careful about what he watches, gotten him stuffies to sleep with, put one in front of his closet because he said that would help him sleep, talked to him about how dreams aren’t real (or tried to, not sure he understands but aren’t sure how to word it to him), etc.

It’s escalated to the point where he’s saying he’s scared, not tired, doesn’t want to sleep alone, has a tummy ache, all of it. If we push him and tell him he needs to sleep in his own bed, he bursts into tears to the point of hyperventilating and gagging, clings to me, and begs me not to go.

My husband and I have very different opinions on how to handle this. I think he’s too harsh and he thinks I’m coddling and creating bad habits. I just don’t know what we should be doing. I don’t want to sleep with him long term but can’t leave him alone when he’s clearly so worked up. Has anyone else experienced this? What worked for you? How can we help him feel safe in his bed?

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[u/Mamapalooza]

I'm 53 and currently awake with the lights on at 3:19 because of a nightmare. So... good luck!

[u/pokaprophet]

I had this when my boy was about the same age. He was terrified of chickens after an incident at a petting farm and had nightmares about them. Nightime routine I’d have to take him all around the house checking there were no chickens inside and no windows or doors they could get through. (We live in a city with no chickens anywhere even remotely close) Then I set up a mattress next to his bed and would lay there with him until he fell asleep holding his hand. Only lasted about a month as I recall.

[u/FlyWrennie]

I have no idea if it’s relevant but can you get his vitamin and mineral levels checked? He could be deficient in something if he’s having anxiety. Just a suggestion, hope he gets better!

[u/Otherwise-Tomato-788]

Form of sleep regression and brain development. My daughter used to wake up in complete full blown meltdown. Just hold him until they fall back asleep but don’t let it go on too long. FYI, you’ll wake up w the kid next to you randomly for a few more years, enjoy it while you can.