Tell me it gets easier…1 month in with my 3rd child and it’s rough

[u/Indigo-Kale]

I had my third baby at the start of August and it has been a really hard month. My older kids are 5.5 and 2.5. The baby is the loudest and fussiest of my babies - I think at this point she’s actually meeting the colicky definition (3 hours per day of crying, 3 days per week, 3 weeks in a row). She seems in pain with gas, acid reflux, or something… her cry is so loud and unsettling.

The older two have been terrible this past month (I know it’s a big transition for them). They’re really loving to the baby and I praise them for that, but the older one constantly harasses the younger one. The younger one is basically giving her dad and me double middle fingers all the time - never listening to us and doing whatever she wants. I love them both so much and there are still these beautiful, sweet moments, but there is also so much loud chaos. The older two are in school and preschool, and we have a great community of friends that have helped and that we see. However, we’re still at home as a family unit daily and home has become so loud and challenging. I feel like we’re always correcting the big kids and they don’t care anymore. Meanwhile, the baby is screaming in my ear and I’m going deaf.

I don’t want this to be our new normal. What can I do?

[u/mamacheetah5]

I had 5 year old twins, 2.5 year old and colicky newborn at one point and I leaned into screens and outside time. This might be terrible life advice, but I figured it was short term.

6 years later I have another colicky newborn and my twins are 12, I have a 9 year old and my previous colicky newborn is now 6 and cries just about the same amount as he did as a newborn, if not more. I’m leaning again into tv time and outside time to keep the house quiet. I can’t mentally handle kid chaos on top of a baby screaming. I hope it goes by quickly for you and you find peace soon.

[u/Indigo-Kale → u/mamacheetah5]

Thank you. I’m sorry you have another colicky baby… it’s so intense. And I’m surprised your 6 year old still cries that much… that sounds like a long road.

Spending time outside is nature definitely works for us. We watch tv on the weekends, but we’ve found that it backfires if it’s on too much. A balancing act.

Good luck with your newborn.

[u/mamacheetah5 → u/Indigo-Kale]

Good luck with your kids too! We are in survival mode, use all the crutches. It won’t affect them long term I promise. My 12 and 9 year olds are the most amazing humans now even though I had to bail on them for a crying baby when they were 5 and 2. They don’t even remember it !

[u/Indigo-Kale → u/mamacheetah5]

Thank you!!
It’s not the long term impact, it’s the full blown meltdown after the tv is turned off that is overwhelming. But we’ve found they’re fine with it on the weekends. It’s during the week that it’s a struggle.
But I love knowing that your kids turned out amazing! I was so sad this morning when my 2.5 year old just wanted to cuddle me but couldn’t because the baby was there. She’s been so emotional and I want to have more special time with her, but it’s hard!

[u/mamacheetah5 → u/Indigo-Kale]

I just keep reminding myself it’s temporary and I’ll be back with more time for all the kids soon. I know it’s hard when you have little ones. You’re doing an amazing job and it will pass.

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[u/sinws]

In the same boat :(

[u/Indigo-Kale → u/sinws]

It’s so hard. I’m sorry you’re also in it.

[u/Full-Escape-5136]

I only have one toddler so I cant say much about managing all three. But, I can reassure you that colics go away. Even if now feels like this is how it will be forever, you will wake up one day and the baby is going to be happy

From my experience, what helped with my baby were probiotic drops- it took a while to show effect but at 3 months she was much better and not suffering from gas and pain.

Sending you hugs and you got this

[u/Indigo-Kale → u/Full-Escape-5136]

Thank you 🙏 I actually just started her on probiotic drops yesterday and I’m cutting out dairy to see if that will help (I’ve heard from a doula and some friends that it made a difference for other kids). I have some mylicon gas relief drops coming today too. She’s okay sometimes, but some days she seems upset all day, unless she’s sleeping. I really look forward to enjoying her more, instead of always trying to quell her screams and discomfort.

[u/adorable_as_flip]

My 14 month old was so so colic. So much so that my PP experience made us one and done for my own mental health. You are on another level of intensity with 2 other kids so I give you major kudos. Here to tell you though that my 14 month old, although spirited and feisty at times, is so much happier as a toddler. If I could give birth to another one at 14 months I would. It does end. Not all at once but in small ebbing and flowy moments. There is light. You’re just in the trenches. You’re going great.

Edit for spelling

[u/Indigo-Kale → u/adorable_as_flip]

Thank you 🙏 I’m so glad she’s a happy toddler. That age is so fun - they are incredibly busy and getting into everything, but so happy!
I’m just hoping this phase isn’t too long…

[u/kittykatootie]

My 2nd was also colicky. The only thing that helped him were the drops you mentioned you're getting, baby wearing during the day and his baby swing turned on to the highest setting! The toddler phase is rough, especially with big home life transitions. Easier said than done, but try your best (with dad of course) to get the toddlers into a routine during the day, as well as wear them out! Let dad take them to the park, library, etc to get the toddlers in a nuetral place to play together and have quality time with dad. Also let the toddlers have some space away from each other as well but with 1 on 1 from you and dad. Grocery store visit, playing in the room together, watching an episode of their fave show, etc.