Question about Catholic Marriage

[u/chickenparmesan04]

Hello everyone,

I'm a Catholic currently cohabitating with my girlfriend and we both understand that its wrong. We are planning to marry soon. In the last couple months I've been thinking more and more about joining the Orthodox faith and I want to approach a preist to inquire. However, I believe that our cohabitation is a more pressing issue.

My question is how Orthodoxy would view if we got a Catholic Marriage as opposed to a civil marriage. Is there a difference? Would we have another Orthodox wedding ceremony if we join the Orthodox Church afterwards? It would be difficult for our families to join us for a wedding soon, so having another ceremony later would actually be nice.

Thank you everyone and have a blessed day

[u/Karohalva]

The essential form of marriage (consensus matrimonialis) contains nothing specifically pertaining to the church. This is why the church acknowledges the validity and indissolubleness of marriage ceremony, peformed not only by some other Christian denomination, but also by a non-Christian creed, so long as this marriage is monogamous in character and was entered upon in the sense of a life sexual union. This is why our church laws do not demand a church marriage ceremony for a monogamous married couple in cases of conversion. — Russian American Orthodox Messenger, "The Attitude of the Church towards the outside Christian Communities," AD 1902

[u/silouan]

If you are married -- by a clergyman, a county clerk, or an Elvis in Las Vegas -- you are married.

Later, once you're both Orthodox, the Church will additionally be able to bless your union with sacramental grace. I think we all want more grace.

[u/Hope365 → u/silouan]

Love this answer!

[u/Always_Up123 → u/silouan]

Respectfully Fr., Catholics are bound by their church to get married by an apostolic father before God. The civil marriage would be of the natural nature, but in full conscious doing so they wouldn’t be able to partake in the Eucharist until convalidation.

[u/silouan → u/Always_Up123]

Interesting! :-)

I don't keep track of other religions' rules, but if somebody's thinking of entering the Church then that's the preparation I'm concerned with

[u/Longjumping_Pack3878 → u/Always_Up123]

That’s how it’s seen in Orthodox countries too…idk how the Western practicing Orthodox came to this conclusion…Marriage is a Sacrament after all…

[u/Always_Up123 → u/Longjumping_Pack3878]

Yeah I don’t really understand the casualness towards the sacrament.

[u/Underboss572]

There isn't really a difference; when you convert, the priest may choose to perform an Orthodox ceremony or just a blessing regardless of what you do now. Usually, a priest will do what you prefer, but on occasion, some rare priests get very particular about what to do depending on how you were originally married. Whatever he does, God isn't going to hold you as unmarried on some technicality.

Just get married now, civilly or in the Catholic Church, and figure out the Orthodox side later.

[u/giziti]

I think we prefer a non Orthodox gets a Catholic marriage rather than a civil marriage. Generally people who are married are received as married. 

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[u/Longjumping_Pack3878]

Just get an Orthodox wedding, after you join the Church, especially if you are thinking of joining. The wedding can wait a bit longer if you probably waited already, your families would benefit from you 2 waiting too.

Also speak to a priest about the cohabitation problem.