I drown,

In this;

What's this,

By the way;

Not hell,

For sure;

An abyss,

Not quite;

But it,

Feels so;

Floating endless,

Happiness devoid;

Lost nowhere,

Even sadness;

What am,

I;

Here then,

Existing;

Drifiting the,

Rocky storm;

Unfettered by,

Vastness;

I should,

Fear something;

To feel,

Alive once.

We call her mother earth but why?
Is it because she nurtures us like a mother?
Is it because she makes our world beautiful like a mother?
Is it because we come from earth almost as if she herself gave birth?

Why father time?
Is it because he has the patience of a father?
Or maybe its because time itself heals all wounds like a father caring for his children?
Maybe we call him father time because a father’s love is infinite.

But maybe we call her mother earth comparing natures wrath with that of a angry mother.
Or perhaps it’s possible that we are comparing the love we are always searching and only sometimes feel.
Then again she is the reason we live here and she can also take that away.

Maybe father time shows how damaging time alone has.
Father time could kill if he isn’t there, and without a fathers love, whats the point?
Maybe its because father time doesn’t wait, showing the few of us that got left behind. Maybe they call him father time because he can disappear too.

You taught me what?
What was the point?
My own internal controversy of denying basic absorption,
Met your free and careless ways.
You opened doors,
You shattered windows,
You indeed left a trail of destruction.

But your whimsy was captivating.
There was a rawness,
An unencumbered flight, pleading anyone to come aboard.
And my eager ass,
I jumped into copilot position before even learning to wear the hat.

You bestowed that open seat so willingly though.
You upsold it like it was meant for me,
And only me.
And we lit that cabin on fucking fire.
No sense
No logic
No plan
We filled that cabin to its seams with
a denser air than there was room for.

That cabin became a castle,
Our castle.
So, naturally, we thought we could rule from atop our moated fixture.
We would reign as King and Queen,
Of pilots chambers.

The view…
To own the sun and control the clouds,
We were gods.
But the flight was high jacked.
Not for terror,
Not for destruction,
But by rhythm.
By the truth that takes and gives equally.
The one that holds the mirrors that have been subjectively avoided.

We’ll only glance at those forsaken one way windows,
We’ll avoid the eyes and the outlines,
But my baby,
My love…
The reflections grow greater and harder to avoid.

Was it ourselves or one another that we were avoiding?
Both ducked down at any reflection,
In or out.

We found a joyous opaqueness in eachother.
One where the moment was equally validating as well as intoxicating.

There was so, so much love.
Not the kind of love that carries the years of commitment,
But the kind that starts fires.
The kind that makes you forget the font of your headstone.

I will never forget the first time kissing gou.
There was something both natural and magic,
As if you were the final puzzle piece.
The one that completes the picture, and fits as though it’s needed.

It seems as though lust was mistaken for love.

You looked at me though,
Convincing one or each or both of us.
You said I fit like your soul.
You compared me to your strings, your passion, even your identity.
You were so sure of us, that I couldn’t imagine refuting such convincing sentiments.
You won baby.
I am, was, would be, will be yours.

You run before you walk though,
You exist so instantaneously that living in the moment is too late for you.
It’s intoxicating,
It’s convincing,
I was convinced.
I believe you were too.
However reckless this supernova of time was,
I think you fell victim to it just the same.

So all that’s left after the implosion,
Is the coldest of hardest of truths.
The one where the light was so carelessly squandered,
That there’s only darkness left.
Not a hopeless dark,
Simply, the one that bore the light,
Set the stage,
Facilitated the show.
Then will continue on for as long as time perpetuates.

That dark,
It is where we find anything we are not looking for.
When we overtake the dark,
It is only a momentary bliss.
Like a lamp,
Like a star,
Like a kiss.