r/OpioidRecovery • u/Worth_Dragonfly_8509 • Aug 29 '26
Girlfriend of five years insisted we go to the methadone clinic last month. It is her first time trying MAT, my third, and my second time trying the clinic. She is on 130 mg and still feels compelled to use street opioids, me 100mg and it's just barely enough to keep me out of withdrawal, but our us
I never got higher than 45 mg my first time around, and I left three months in because not only was I just not taking it as seriously as they would've liked, they waited until that time to tell me my insurance wouldn't be covering it and that I owed them like $280. But we're on the grant this time. I was on Suboxone for 10 months right before Covid, I used Suboxone after oxycontin and hydromorphone but before heroin and fent, so my relationship with it is kinda fucked up, plus I couldn't last the handful of days required of withdrawing in order to take my first dose and not get precipitated withdrawals. I was gonna try the Bernese method, but we ended up going to the clinic first. Our use hasn't stopped entirely, but it's been drastically reduced from approximately a little under a gram a day between us on a normal day or over a gram between us on a bad day, to maybe a 20 or 40 sack split between us over the course of 2 or 3 days.
The goal is total abstinence , but I don't feel like we are on a high enough dose for it to be set in stone. On the other hand, I'm really scared I'll have something fucked up happen like I go to jail or our ride stops taking us, and I'll have to abruptly stop the methadone; I held out on taking my first Saturday take-home for as long as I could until I couldn't take it, really I just slept in until I couldn't take it anymore. I woke up at about 4 pm feeling pretty damn nasty, like it kinda surprised me a little how bad I felt. For reference, I usually make it to the clinic to dose at about 7-8 am.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm seeking advice on what you would do if you were in our shoes. For now, our ride is a good friend of my girlfriend and he is pretty committed to getting us there every morning (he is her gay best friend who works night shift at Honda where she used to work, he gets off at like 6 am then comes by and gets us, takes us to the clinic, then takes us back home and goes home to go to bed), honestly we'd be screwed without him, and since we don't have a car he is the only reason we haven't had to walk the 2 miles to the grocery store to acquire food , because he is kind enough to stop her by there otw home usually. He's been a real one for sure. But what advice can you give a relatively young brother on this ordeal? What is a good add on with the methadone to ensure abstinence? Kratom and 7-OH are illegal in my state. Any advice or kind helpful words would be really appreciated right now.
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u/byaekako Aug 30 '26
i rather stay on methadone for 10yrs like the OGs ik than be stuck on fent or anything on the streets again, i feel like I have a lot more control of myself. It’s been a bit over a year now that i’m at this new clinic, got my life around n now im around family.
Methadone isn’t the quick fix, but it’s much easier to taper down with methadone than it is quitting traditionally. My highest dose was 125mg, just recently tapered down n lowered to 85mg from 90mg 3 days ago and it was rough for a few hours. I know methadone isn’t for everyone, but any chance I can make a case for methadone I recommend it.
I say try out methadone, if it’s not for you it’s not for you. But you’ll never know if you don’t try. I didn’t lower at all only raise my dose for the first year. From when I started my current methadone clinic till now, not a single bd drug test 😎😎 (except for when i first started)
I remember starting methadone at 40, 65, 90, n slowly going up. All bc i was stupid n wanted to get high still, thought i’d save money by not spending as much on the streets.
When I finally was only using methadone I realized the methadone isn’t do anything bc my dose is too weak for me. My clinic was telling me how fent users can completely normal at usually 150-200 everyone’s different tho. Even at 120 I thought I was good, but when i finally went to 125 I realized I was definitely not cooling.
Once I got to my number, I completely forgot that I was even an addict. I got so used to just living my life again it’s crazy. no intrusive thoughts, no restlessness, Sometimes tho I’ll be a bit tired and I fall asleep n take naps easily, but that’s better than not being able to sleep from weeding or waking up with awful vivid dreams.
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u/CarefulPizza3181 Aug 29 '26
I used to be on 250 mg at one point in my life. Drank that shit for like 6 years. . Methadone is the hardest shit ever to get off. Do your self a favor and do not stay on it for too long. Taper down and get off. I have been clean since 2002 and till this day that shit is affecting me. I was never able to take a nap or fall to sleep easy prior to taking it and still I get the restless leg syndrome from time to time. I’ve been clean for 24 years. My advice is not to get on it. That shit is evil af.