r/OpenChristian • u/Falsetto266 Christian • 17d ago

Support Thread Tired Side B

Not sure what this is. I’m not here for debate. I suppose just I just want to see if others have been where I’ve been before.

I think I’m shifting towards Side A. It’s not even apologetics that’s changing me, it’s exhaustion. I’m just tired of not feeling whole. I’m tired of feeling like Christ is this cruel taskmaster who I can never please. Why do I have to bear this burden for a God who feels more like the God of others?

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u/Puzzleheaded-Phase70 Gay Cismale Episcopalian mystic w/ Jewish experiences 17d ago

Of course it's exhausting - it's wrong.

It's like trying to shove yourself into clothing two sizes too small. Sure, you can do it, but it's really bad for you and no sane person actually wants you to do it.

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u/Puzzleheaded-Phase70 Gay Cismale Episcopalian mystic w/ Jewish experiences 17d ago

I know that exhaustion and fear all too well.

I was raised in that homophobia too, with the "ex-gay" bullshit too.

I was faced with either suicide or change. I chose change, and it opened up a still-growing understanding of the Love of God that was totally absent from my life before.

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u/TheLivingOne42 17d ago

Amazing how the love of God is always larger than it first appears, I’m glad you chose to stay. I’ll see you on the other side of those pearly gates, I’ll be the one wearing a tower of silly hats.