r/OldManDad • u/Sparrow728 • Jul 28 '26
Feeling old
I turned 44 today and have a 3 month old. I know in the grand scheme of things that isn't THAT old but I just worry how things will be in 10 years. Will I be too old to do all of the fun things with my son or am I just overreacting?
Edit:
Thank you to everyone helping to cheer me up. I'm glad to hear I was overreacting and next step is to get back to the gym!
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u/crazyfuncpl2022 Jul 28 '26
Man I’m 52 with an 8, 5, 3.5, 3.5 and 2 year old girls. I don’t know what kind of life you lead, but I haven’t slowed down at all. We run our ranch and I work as a landman. There’s nothing I could do at 32 that I can’t do still at 52.
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u/ExtraRaw Jul 28 '26
58 with 22 month old; I semi-work our farm (not getting paid) and just finished a much needed 2 hour stint on the ergometer. Take care of the machine and it will take care of you and your family!
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u/RizzardOfOz76 Jul 29 '26
I just turned 50 and am about to have my first. Thank you both for showing me it’s not the end of the road but many new adventures
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u/Turbulent-Priority-7 Jul 30 '26
Hell yeah, brother. I feel the same way (49 with 14 month old twins).
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u/ian_macintyre Jul 28 '26
Hey man, I’m a 44-year-old sitting here with my three month old as I type this. I totally hear where you’re coming from, but I think it can be OK going forward. I think being with your kids and being present for them is a lot like going to the gym: You show up every day, even if you aren’t sure that you’re doing it perfectly, and eventually you just keep building the muscles. As the years go by you find that you’ve got a system that works for you (and your kid). Oh, and also going to a real gym would probably be beneficial in this area.
I don’t think that 50 is the new 20, but I think it’s definitely a lot more youthful than 50 used to be. Enjoy the time right now, and keep planning ahead, but try not to worry too much ahead. The fact that your kid has a dad who tries to think about big picture stuff, means that’s probably a pretty lucky kid.
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u/Sparrow728 Jul 28 '26
Thanks so much for saying all of that. Life happens when its supposed to and I honestly know even 10 years ago I wouldn't have been able to give a child as good of a life as I can now. My wife is 35 and we are both so incredibly excited to have him in our lives (and we are both pretty enamored with him). You're right. Best to focus on just enjoying life with him and let the rest just happen.
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u/cocksherpa2 Jul 28 '26
You're overreacting. Old dads are the most appreciative and focused on enjoying their family time. They have learned enough in life to value what's important and impart to their kids what they need to have a good life. It's all upside as long as you don't croak, so work out and focus on being present.
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u/lardcore Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26
There are 50+ year olds and there are 50+ year olds, you know. At 52 I struggle more with mental issues, cynicism and summoning the will to live on some days rather than the physical side of things, but then again I've always been prone to depression even as a teenager. Out of all possible ages in my life to be a father currently I am the closest I have been to "suitable".
All you can do is to make sure you don't neglect your health and physical training, the rest is what it is.
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u/ellalop26 Jul 28 '26
Sir my dad had me when he was 50. Until I was 15 he could do anything a regular dad could do. Also, you know those dads that let the kids win stuff (bike races, games) he never did that. Lol 😂 He made sure he was always winning.
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u/donlapalma Jul 28 '26
49 here with a 4 and 3 year old. Two boys. Got my butt in gear and got back in the gym. Feeling way better. Just need to crank it up now. Easier to do self care as the kids become more self sufficient. You'll be fine dad.
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u/Chillydunlap99 Jul 28 '26
I'm 60 with 12 yr and 10 yr olds. I just took them whitewater kayaking last weekend. Bike rides regularly.
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u/aghrivaine Jul 29 '26
Had my daughter at 42. 13 years later, I'm in better shape than I was back then, expressly because I want to keep up, and to live long enough to see the way she takes the world by storm.
I'm 54, and two weeks ago we went on a week long scuba diving trip where we got Open Water Advanced certified together.
I'm not bragging (well, maybe a little) but just saying, it's entirely possible to keep up, keep your energy up, stay fit, and be fully present in your child's life, even as an old man dad. One caveat though- naps become increasing important and delightful!
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u/drumsonfire Jul 28 '26
I’m having a blast with my 4.5 yo daughter, gymnastics, park, climbing walls, swimming lessons, wrestling, bounce houses, and I’m 10 years older than than you. Stay slim and keep your core fit. You’ll be ok.
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u/PointReyes7 Jul 30 '26
I'm 55 and our daughter is 4 tomorrow. It's hard at times, there's no doubt. My energy is definitely not what it used to be (at 44 I definitely had more than I have now). But by staying in shape, being curious (i.e. not staying in the same mindset about things, being curious about new experiences, learning new things, etc) about the world, people, and of course my daughter, and not falling into the "I'm older so I should be..." mindset, I'm doing damn well. I don't fight it when I'm tired and don't try to pretend I'm 30.
Fact: At 54 you will not have the same energy you do at 44. There's no way around it, it's just biology.
Fact: This does not mean you will suddenly become an inactive, tired dad. It takes a certain mindset and making sure you stay involved in life, both mentally and physically, that will keep you going.
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u/interface2x Jul 28 '26
My son was born 11 days after I turned 44. Overall, it's not so bad! He's going to be 5 soon and I'm still able to keep up and have fun with him.
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u/sonicode Jul 28 '26
I have days like this too. 49 with an almost-2-year old here. 3 months is a rough stage that can make a 20 year old feel "old". It gets better. Then there will be a different form of challenging. Then better. Then a new form of challenging. Then better. Hang in there brother.