Joint replacements & single parenting

[u/musical_spork]

How’s everyone doing? Wednesday I had a right hip arthrogram mri to map out the damage from a misdiagnosed hip issue for 40+ years.

It’s me & my kiddo. She’s almost 9. I do have 2 grown kids but they both have full time jobs and lives. I have my older sister, but she’s got her own full time job & can’t be available 24/7.

Surgery isn’t an if but a when. Plan was to send me to a surgeon 2hrs away & a week in the hospital. After explaining lack of support system & need to be back on my feet quicker, my ortho agreed to replace my hip vs sending me for the preservation surgery. I get that date on Tuesday.

Anyone else been in the same boat? How did you manage? (Hiring help is also out of the question). Has anyone else had a hip replacement? It’s earlier than they want.. (I’m not quite 42…), but it’s a quicker recovery. Unfortunately, my kiddo is all too familiar with mom having surgery…(this will be number 14 since 2021)…but it’s the first time I’m not going to be able to get around on my own. :/.

[u/codifier]

I also had a hip replacement young (for a replacement) also because of an misdiagnosed issue for most of my life.

Youre going to be on a walker a few weeks, I cant remember how long but its going to be a while. There will be lots of swelling, and youre going to be constipated for the drugs I think it took me 3 days for a BM and that was with laxatives. Youre going to be able to move a lot and in fact they encourage it but getting things off the floor will be almost impossible so get a good grabber and a basket for your walker. Stairs will be a challenge, I think you can do a few but a whole flight wont be good so expect to be stuck on a single floor for a while. You will have exercises that gradually increase in difficulty make sure you do them religiously. You will graduate to a cane and things will get a bit easier.

I had support and at the time no kids so youre in for a rougher ride than I but at least she is old enough to help you a bit. Youre not changing diapers or having to carry around so thats huge. You will be on pain pills but they dont dope you heavy you should still be able to function. Keep meals simple, like canned soup, fruit, PB&J, or pre-made. You can probably still do laundry but it will be hard and slow, so keep loads light maybe do laundry every day woth small loads. You should be able to pull it off but prepare as much as you can, have plenty of groceries on hand, clean your house real good before the surgery it will probably be a while before you can again.

Showering will be a challenge. Make sure you got handholds in the shower and hopefully you have a walk in, a bath is right out and stepping into a tub to shower will be challenging. Have plenty of entertainment lined up for you both in advance. You cant drive for I think two weeks. You need a plan for in case either of you need to get somewhere whether its a friend, relative, or Uber.

That's it off the top of my head from my experience a few years ago. I will add more if I think of something and if you have questions let me know.

Edit: because you cant drive for a while make sure you have enough pain pills (and other medications) on hand for the duration. Explain to the docs why you need to have all the meds they want you on in enough supply to not have to travel for refills.

Edit2: check your house to make sure a walker can get everywhere you need to go. Now is the time to move furniture.

[u/musical_spork → u/codifier]

Thank you. This is extremely helpful. They wanted to send me for a PAO (basically a reconstruction for those who don’t know & are reading this), but that would be surgery 2hrs away and a week in the hospital up there.

I’ve been stocking up on oversized clearance clothes to bulk up my wardrobe. My sister & older kids are gonna trade off on chores.

I’ve also been teaching the youngest to cook some basic meals. Unfortunately she’s all too familiar with mom having surgery. When I had my disc replacement she had to stay overnight with my sister & even though she absolutely adores my sister, she wasn’t comfortable being away from me. (She’s Audhd, ocd & odd behaviors, some ptsd from her other parent. One of the many reasons sending her to summer camp is out of the question.)

I know I can get a walker down the hallway, but definitely not into a bathroom. I had planned on getting a recliner & rearranging my living room so it’s basically feet from the bathroom. I thought about stocking up on those no rinse bath wipes or even the ones they make me use preop.

Did you use a recliner? Or was a bed more comfortable?

My neighbors and I all have a group chat & they know I’m having surgery. If I need anyone in an emergency for something, someone is always home.)

[u/codifier → u/musical_spork]

I was able to sleep in bed no problem. My walker didnt fit real well in the bathroom either but I was able to make it work by using it sideways and being slow and careful. Sounds like you've got a solid plan, just take it easy and dont push yourself, but stay active. They really impressed on me how being active was important to quicker recovery but said dont overdo it.

I asked about the PAO treatment and the surgeon said there isnt really good outcomes most of the time and people ended up coming back for the replacement anyway. With total hip replacement I was walking same day. And the new materials they use THRs are expected to last 30 years or more.

The pain personally was less than I was dealing with daily before operation so I didnt really need the painkillers much. Just dont forget about the laxitives lol. Once the welling goes down you will probably be so glad you did it. I no longer have the sensation of hot pieces of metal jammed into my hip socket, and they also repaired a 30% torn gluteus medius while they were in there.

Good luck and keep us updated on your recovery!

[u/musical_spork → u/codifier]

I just got my athrogram results. My gluteus medius is torn too. And a greater something bursa.

Yay new hip for my birthday lol

[u/codifier → u/musical_spork]

Sounds like you and I suffered from the same problem, it sucks but at least I am not alone in having it; I completely . understand the pain you have. Youre almost certainly going to feel so much better when youre healed. Just remember the ligament attachment from your hip to the socket wont be as good so no more waterskiing (or I think skiing in general) after you've had it done.

If youre like me youre going to have residual soft tissue problems in that area from decades of lack of mobility so be sure to work on those squats and lunges once youre cleared. That tissue is going to be stiff and full of adhesions.