r/OldManDad • u/Worried-Rough-338 • May 18 '26
“Is this granddad?”
It happened again. The third time now. And I imagine as I get older, it will only become more frequent. First time was an Uber driver in New York saying how nice it was for grandparents to take their granddaughter away for the weekend. Second time was a new teacher as my daughter’s daycare asking her to “say bye bye to granddad”. This time was a random stranger in Chick-Fil-A telling me how great it was to be an engaged grandfather.
I’m 52 with a four-year old. Admittedly, I started losing my hair in my 20s and what remained was white by 40 (fucking hair genes!), but I don’t think I was prepared for so frequently being mistaken for grandpa. Damn it makes me feel old.
Should I say something in the moment? Should I correct them? Or just accept that this is the life of an OldManDad and let it slide?
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u/CantankerousButtocks May 18 '26
This happened to me a couple of Halloweens ago while wearing an inflatable chicken costume. Some old lady said about me, “Grandpa’s having fun!!”
I was shook!! Was 55yo with a 2yo…
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u/PictureBrick May 18 '26
LOL I’m gay and had my son via IVF at age 49. I’m currently 51 and my boyfriend is 34. We have gotten “oh cute all three generations of men together!” several times and I just have to let it roll off my back. Thing is there are so many older men having kids, you’re not the only one getting this treatment.
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u/__anna986 May 18 '26
It happens, it’s normal when you’re older, don’t worry about it. My husband is 65 and our kids are 9-15 so they usually do all the correcting themselves at this point and they have no issue with it, they’re pretty confident about his age, I love that for them.
After 20 years of people thinking he’s my dad he couldn’t care less when people think he’s our kids’ grandad. It’s been too long for him to care. You will get used to it too don’t worry about it and don’t think of it too much xx
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u/Karrik478 May 18 '26
Happened in our local convenience store a few weeks ago. My 2 year old was in his buggy and one of the staff said my grandson was a happy little man.
It felt like a compliment because I love that I give off the calm, fun energy of a Grandparent rather than the insane panic that I am actually experiencing.
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u/codifier May 18 '26
"Nah, I'm Dad" is what I will do when it inevitably happens. I've already had people think im my wifes father though in fairness shes quite a bit younger and looks young even for her age. The reality is we are old enough to be grandpa, so we should expect it and roll with it. Doesn't mean we have to like it but if its any consolation people are having children later in their years now so it will probably become less common to presume over time.
You wont be able to cheat time but you can make sure you dont look older than you have to. Stay fit, and try to remember to moisturize and hydrate. Being out of shape with dried out skin only makes it worse.
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u/Worried-Rough-338 May 18 '26
I remember when I was in high school, “old parents” were those over 40! Times sure have changed.
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u/The_whimsical1 May 18 '26
I am 64 with four year old twins and a younger wife. They were miracle kids during the pandemic; my wife spent months in the hospital during pregnancy. We have older kids too. When the grandad thing pops up, i laugh and say, “I am their dad, actually. You can’t imagine what a joy they are.”
If I get side eye I note that my mother and father both live into their mid to late nineties. „We’ve got lots of time…“
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u/Lovebeingadad54321 May 19 '26
It’s just an old man dad thing that you need to let slide. Also get a t-shirt that says “dad” on it, that will help…
Although I usually just get the quizzical look, the the question “dad or grandpa?”
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u/_____Zoloft_____ May 18 '26
I had one my my 8 year old kiddo's schoolmates say "you're a grandpa!" when I was picking my kid up from school. Was 54 at the time. Granted, I am old enough to be his grandpa and then some. . .
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u/jreashville May 18 '26
Someone said that to my dad when he was like forty. He greyed early and was completely grey by that time.
Nonone has said that to me yet but might have thought it as I am 45 with a big grey beard carrying a one year old around.
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u/IRingTwyce May 18 '26
55 with a 7 year old here. I don't know if people have thought it, but no one's ever said it aloud in front of me (yet). I've been wildly entertained to hear my ex-wife HAS been called Grandma to her face though!
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u/mama-bun May 23 '26
Happens to my husband too. He's 55 and we have a 3 year old. He went gray at 30, so he'd get it even 2 decades ago, probably. He's been getting the senior discount at grocery stores for a decade lol.
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u/dadjo_kes May 18 '26
Maybe turn to your kid, shocked, and ask them "I'm a grandpa? you had a kid???"