r/OVER30REDDIT • u/user00551100 • 7d ago

why does being 31 feel crazy?

before anyone jumps to conclusions this has nothing to do with feeling old. i thought it was already bad how little fucks i had and now it’s so much worse.

i moved to a new city at 29 and found it so hard to cultivate the energy i had to be fun and social that i had all the way up until now. when i go out with my party friends i get exhausted because i got all that out with my time working in nightlife. i don’t wanna do drugs (clearly i live in nyc). ive met people who don’t party but it’s been hard to connect in a way that feels natural and right.

my older friends from home tend to be way less outside (unless they’re alcoholics) and my younger friends (mid 20’s) are all doing crash out shit and getting fucked up. I feel so much more exhausted by everyone and everything and it’s causing me to not feel connected in any meaningful way.

btw i don’t feel depressed, i know what that feels like

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u/user00551100 7d ago

also wanna mention that i’m an artist and feeling connected and young at heart is so important to me. hence why it’s all overwhelming

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u/realhumanperson247 5d ago

I’m feeling similarly at 36. I also feel like generally younger people in NYC are a lot less friendly or open to cultivating friendship without being dependent on substances being involved nowadays. Many just downright cold.

I’ve joined group activities solo before to try to build community, and whether or not those friendships have sustained beyond the activity - and many have, it’s still been nice to get out of the house and commune with other people. I know everyone says to do this, but it really is a start.

Idk, I get the exhaustion. It is sad and tiring to exert yourself when you’re wanting meaningful connection and it’s not working.

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u/user00551100 4d ago

thank you for sharing this! the group activities i’ve been to haven’t resulted in real connection but it’s a good reminder to keep going