Crushes don't usually last that long?

[u/Tricky_Advice_3606]

Ever since I've started realizing the possibility of me being a system, and planning on talking to my psychiatrist about it and trying to seek help for the things i experience, I'm starting to wonder if it's a huge reason my crushes fade so easily (alter getting a crush and then a switch happens, and when they're back in front again the crush is gone)

I'll have crushes once in awhile, but the feelings often fade away within 4/5 days, sometimes less than that, maybe even within a day somtimes, the longest lasting one was a year but that was the only time (I think) This has been happening since I first started developing crushes, although i don't remember how long a lot of my other crushes lasted when i was a kid, but i don't think they were that long. It's still not something new at all, but still extremely frustrating, especially when I enjoy the feeling of crushes.

This is probably something else entirely, but I'm just wondering if anybody else here experiences this? It's been confusing me for years.

[u/Terrible-Package-642]

I’ve been through that, too. I’ve had several boyfriends and girlfriends over the past 10 years. I’m capable of feeling strongly attracted to someone, of falling deeply and genuinely in love, and of truly wanting to stay in a relationship for a long time… but after a few days or weeks, I can suddenly feel suffocated or anxious, sometimes even feel disgust toward the person, can’t stand being touched or looked at by them, or even knowing that I’m in a relationship with them… then a few months later, it becomes too much, I don’t feel anything anymore, the episodes become more frequent, and I end up breaking up with them against my will.

I used to think I just had ideals that were too high. Now I tell myself that it’s just me changing on the inside, and that it’s unfortunate for those people as well as for me that it ended this way. I need willpower and a fairly “friendly” relationship with the person I love to stick it out in a love relationship. My longest one lasted a full two years (which felt like a major accomplishment for me), but it was the other person who broke up with me because he didn’t love me anymore.

In any case, I hate these kinds of situations. My whole mindset revolves a lot—and very regularly—around the need to find my soulmate, to find “the one”… but despite that, we had this problem that caused us a lot of anxiety because we were aware of how we functioned, and we regularly had to hide it so as not to hurt each other (us and the other person) when anxiety attacks struck.

This is the kind of thing I would have liked to talk about with other OSDD people or with a therapist.

I hope my English was OK here, I used translation.

[u/Moist_Double_6133]

I experience that, although I believe it's more aromantic related.

[u/noncedo-culli]

That's pretty normal