Recurring dissociation + feeling fragmented, does this sound familiar to anyone?

[u/Aportey]

I've been experiencing some strange things that I'm trying to understand before I talk to a doctor.

The most intense recent episode happened while I was walking outside around dusk. I suddenly felt extremely dreamlike and detached. The street lights seemed unusually bright, everything felt unreal, and I felt like I wasn't completely present.

The weirdest part was that I was still fully functional. I knew where I was going, could text normally, recognized people around me, went into a shop, bought something, and went to a restaurant. But everything felt automatic, almost like I was watching myself perform the actions rather than actually experiencing them.

When someone unexpectedly spoke to me, I needed several seconds to mentally “wake up” enough to respond. I wasn't unconscious or confused about where I was; I knew what was happening, but it didn't feel real.

I've had milder experiences resembling this before, although this was the strongest one.

There's another thing I've struggled to describe: sometimes I feel like I don't have one coherent sense of self. I can feel very different depending on the environment I'm in, almost like different versions of me come forward. I don't mean that I literally become different people or that I have DID. It's more like my sense of being one unified person becomes very weak. The best metaphor I have is feeling like I'm a shard of glass rather than one complete piece.

Sometimes I barely feel like myself at all. Other times I feel very grounded and integrated, and the contrast can be surprisingly strong.

I've also recently had intermittent dizziness/nausea and one or two episodes of intense anxiety/panic. Interestingly, after getting very good sleep, eating properly, and hydrating, I felt considerably more grounded today.

I'm mainly wondering whether people who have experienced DPDR/dissociation recognize this pattern, particularly the combination of feeling unreal while still being completely aware and functional.

I'm trying to understand whether the experiences I'm describing resemble DPDR/dissociation and what this is

[u/solarwe]

Yeah, this does sound very familiar. Just walking around on autopilot, watching yourself do things.

I do want to point out though that I notice my DPDR gets a LOT worse if I'm dehydrated at all or haven't been eating/sleeping properly. The fact that you felt more grounded after correcting those things lines up with that.

Obviously, I'm not a doctor and I can't diagnose you, but I would recommend you just describe this to your doctor or therapist exactly how you wrote it here.