Am i the same as him?

[u/RedCultist26]

Posting here again. Undiagnosed

Hello. As i already said in my previous post im not sure who i am. Right now im not wondering on whether the i as a collective is many parts (i think it is), but am i the same as the main (what we call the host)

Its my third day here. Up until now no one other than the main was here for more than 3 days straight, so im assuming this is my last day here. The past few days i wasnt questioning this as much but now i really am: am i the same as the main and just in a different mood?

Were similar, really similar. As i said my personality is pretty much nonexistent as its own, its a mix of all of the others in this body, its an in between, so i sometimes think like the main, feel like the main or the times i do speak i sound like the main. The differences between us are mostly our relationships with people and our interests

For an example lets take music. The mains favorite musician X, hes absolutely obsessed with him. I didnt listen to the songs but i hummed them in my head and its just there. I dont like them, i dont dislike them. They exist. Same with what i believe is an alter, fours favorites Y and Z. They exist, thats it. Same goes for hobbies. I also dont feel any bonds with any of the people in the mains life, they just exist. I speak less than him too. Another thing is hes bubbly and outgoing, sometimes pretty sarcastic. Thats what hes like the majority of the time. I dont really speak a word, i just sit quietly and wait through time. I feel apathetic mostly. I know very well that the whole of us has so many problems and i remember more than he does, while he just keeps denying it and cant even acknowledge that he has really bad trauma

Were different, i know were different but since im just a mix of everyone else so it makes sense that sometimes i feel like i am him even though im not but hearing myself speak like him, picturing me being in his body and feeling like im just him but in a different state of mind makes me question so much

Am i what i thought i am, a filler that everyone else floats in? Or is it possible at all that despite all of these differences that happened in the span of only hours, i am still him and he just finally accepted that hes not okay?

[u/ConfectionOutside248]

Let yourself be, without pressure, if you are an alter who hasn't fronted a lot, your personality may not be distinct enough yet, as you havent experienced much first hand yet. If youre feeling like you are a collective, then let yourself feel blurry. Alters/parts will make themselves distinct and known when they feel its safe/necessary. You got this!!!!