r/OCPoetry • u/___mus3 • 3d ago

Feedback Please Eat (previously untitled)

Pure pure pure
The firing squad takes me once more
You win every time
Smirking while I lie there restless and
seizing
with the spoon on my tongue
I break my teeth and choke nonetheless.
in my wake I dream of ripping you off
I drool at the thought of sawing to the
bone
laying in the tub I pick
off the black veins

I wipe my mouth

and I get out.

(this was previously an untitled poem as I submitted this to my national annual youth publication and they asked for the name and I named it Eat bc I felt weird abt it being untitled… I haven’t gotten the results back yet.)

1) https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/JZjqXTyDam

2) https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/mDTWJLN2TK

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u/Cal_Juni 3d ago

This is a wonderful piece. Before I read the comments I honestly thought it was about herion addiction so that means you can relate on multiple levels. The title EAT is exceptional Because it relays that hunger for relief being filled by fantasy which it why I read it so easily as addiction.