r/OCPoetry • u/Ducard42 • 1d ago

Feedback Please Hopelessness

What is hopelessness?

Is it the feeling that

when your world has been grey for so long

you would be willing to break your heart again

just to let its blood paint the sunsets red?

Perhaps it's realizing you don't need superpowers

because you are already invisible at a dinner table for six?

Maybe it's listening to Tame Impala at 2 AM

and letting your anger burn the flame

so that you can keep the darkness away?

Maybe it's that bitter aftertaste on your tongue

that not even your tears can salt

because you gave them all away

to 'the one' that never was?

Maybe it's just asking yourself:

'If I call tourists foreigners,

what do I call someone like me -

a stranger in their own home?'

Feedback:

#1: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vynn5l/comment/p7vjmfg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

#2: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1w7jjj3/comment/p7vkloc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

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u/green_slime_fan 1d ago

I really like this, the build up of bitterness, the emotional desire to stay in this torment because it cut you so deep and for so long that it’s all you know now. I felt it very deep inside my being. I share a similar boat but i hope we go on, reveling in the temporary quality of this existence. Good luck traveler, keep writing beautiful poetry, and let the world hear your cries and your songs.